Is it possible to totally transform your health?

[SquirrelSoShiny]

This is more a desperate plea and quite outing so if you know me, shhhhhh! (Especially if my lovely GP sees this, she is a literal saint).

I'm mid forties, ADHD (recently diagnosed), perimenopausal. 20+ years of living like a feral teenager are now catching up with me. Obese (size 16-18). I have an incredibly fussy family with meals, no one eats the same, I'm vegetarian but binge eating badly at the minute (normally after I hyperfocus and forget to eat). I'm pretty much living on beige food atm.

Really struggling with the logistics of food shopping and prep atm. No routine over the summer, it's driving me insane, I'm barely brushing my teeth or hair. I used to love cooking but honestly my family have killed all joy in it, they don't like anything I make (veggie curries etc) which just puts me off bothering. They were as bad when I ate meat but at least then I could make plain meat, potatoes and veg.

So after all that, I just had a positive QFit and am on the red flag assessment pathway. It was only 15 but I've been iron deficient for months without being anaemic (but have been experiencing breathlessness and had chest xray, waiting for results).

So this is all putting the fear into me. My question is: have you ever gone from being a useless blob who never exercises and eats like a 14 year old with their dad's credit card... to being a functional adult who eats a healthy, future proofing diet that won't kill them by the time they're 50? And exercises? And isn't terrified of old age and disability because of life habits?

Fast 800 followed by low carb/intermittent fasting changed my health 360°

I find food prep and cooking a real struggle. I've got three kids who all like (or don't like...) different things and I refuse to cook separate meals because I don't have time or money for that.

What we do is pretty much have 7 ish meals on rotation. They are things that everyone likes and are easy to prepare. It's not wildly exciting always having, say, chicken curry on a Friday night, but what it is is easy. I don't have to worry about what we're having and the shopping list is pretty much exactly the same every week. If the kids don't want to eat it then they can have some toast or a weetabix or something (my kids are too little to sort their own dinner!).

Can you try this? Even think of five meals? Doesn't need to be exciting and honestly, I wouldn't massively be getting hung up on whether you're eating too much 'ultra processed' quorn or whatever, when currently you are struggling to brush your teeth on the daily.

Ticking things off on a list is also a great idea. Mine is - 2 litres of water, 10,000 steps, 8 hours sleep. I always fail at the last one (kids...) but they are simple aims. Maybe reduce the steps and add daily shower and teeth brushing to yours.

If you are overwhelmed then start small but it can be done.

ADHD here too, so I'm sympathising with you to my core, and I don't even have peri to contend with.

I'm not sure how much reading you've done on ADHD yet? Binge eating can be a significant symptom of it as your dopamine deficient brain is seeking dopamine by any method possible, and you lack the "I'm going to regret this tomorrow" executive functioning of the brain.

Step 1. Don't feel bad. Especially if someone well-meaning is saying things like "you just have to do xyz." ADHD makes these things very fucking hard. Be kind to yourself. You are trying your best.

Step 2. How iron deficient is deficient? If you can get that fixed that can make a massive difference!

Step 3. Can I suggest you look at Michael Moseley Fast 800, or BIWI's Low Carb Bootcamp on here? Both are easy to follow, including for vegetarians, and both would have the benefits of dropping some initial weight quickly and safely and improving nutrition. And either are good for the ADHD brain, as the reduced sugar helps keep everything on a more even keel. And if you can hyperfocus on it as a project initially it would give you a good kick start.

Step 4. Find some form of exercise you are committed to. I recommend team sports as you really have to go and can't let people down. Many sports have "return to/bounce back" classes for the unfit middle aged (myself when I started one) and they are usually really accessible and friendly. You also get the dopamine boost, especially if you win, and I usually find I do no binging in the following 36hours after a match.

No more steps, as I've not really got much further myself. I would suggest either kicking everyone out of the house for the day so you can have a few hours to just breathe, or if not possible, take yourself out for the day for a breather.

And again, be kind to yourself. And good luck.

Oh, also maybe look at vitamin d and omega 3 supplements to help your brain.

I had a lightbulb moment with cooking for my teens. I just realised that i needed to ditch the guilt about not cooking what they would ideally like to eat and just get on with cooking what they needed to eat. They could eat it or leave it but at least I wasn't personally feeding them food that would be unhealthy. I also stopped buying ultra processed snack food for the house. They can still have it out and about but we don't keep it at home.

DD informed me the other day that she has got used to eating beans and lentils in everything but if I could lay off the kale a teeny bit it would be appreciated

Thank you all for taking the time to message

But @Notlostjustexploring I want to say a special thank you to you. Your post actually made me cry. Thank you. It is so, so hard. My RSD was being activated a bit there because I know it seems like making excuses and I've spent my life feeling like an excuse maker and I never understood why I could do some crazy difficult things and struggled with things other people make look easy. My brain just doesn't work the same way but I'm learning ways of managing it and when I finally get meds they may help a bit. Peri is shit for ADHD, it's the drop in oestrogen interacts with dopamine which is already fucked up for us, I literally felt like I was losing my mind and the psychiatrist who diagnosed me was so lovely, he actually said as I was leaving, you are not going mad, you need to be kinder to yourself.

My GP has been truly lovely and said the same things you're saying about being kind to myself, that I have A LOT going on and I know I need to, it's just the scary test and red flag thing has made me feel like I'm running out of time to make the changes I know I need to make. But they feel huge because the support isn't necessarily there. I told DH this morning that I need to prioritise healthy meals for me and DD because he is big enough to make his own food and he got annoyed and upset which just activates the RSD and the guilt I feel pretty much perpetually but to be fair, he is on board with the meal plan thing, so we just need to sit down and figure it out.

There is not a single thing I ever wondered about myself that the ADHD diagnosis didn't explain to me.

Anyway I just started HRT so I'm really hoping it helps too although I'm expecting a rough few months 😬

Thank you all. I am reading every single tip and idea, I'm going to make a list.

I actually did Fast 800 before and it was brilliant for me and it definitely meant prioritising my own food for a few months but I think I need to. I'm also shit at remembering to take iron, though it came back up even taking it a couple of times a week so lovely GP is going to keep me on it in the meantime as she knows I won't remember it enough to overdose on it 😂But it definitely makes a difference even taking it twice a week.

I've seen @BIWI's threads mentioned before, I just didn't know they were suitable for veggies! So that's a great tip.

I'm actually quite proud that I've managed to go from pre-diabetic to normal blood range and my cholesterol is under 5 and my iron is creeping up and I did all of that with undiagnosed ADHD and peri-menopause while working and studying so yes, I am going to fucking nail this or die trying!💪

@yougotthelook that is so inspiring, go you!

Not quite the same, but I’m hitting 50 and am 1.5 stones overweight. I eat kind of OK, kind of do a little bit of exercise, kind of look after myself…
But it’s really not enough anymore! I HAVE to up my game. My cholesterol is high, my waist hip ratio is very unhealthy.

Think of it as habits OP - we must replace bad habits with good ones.

One thing I’ve done is stopping cooking for anyone except my young SN child. It’s very difficult to lose weight cooking big meals full of meat. I went vegetarian for a couple of months, which was really good. I lost 0.5 stones. Then I went on holiday and put it all on again.

But I won’t give up. With you OP - use this scare as the drive to change!