Stress? Anxiety?

[VeronicaMars]

I would really like to hear advice from anyone who has or whos dp or dh has suffered from it. I have no experience with it at all and dh is having a bad time of it at the moment. He is on medication, mild tablets not sure what they are called. He has a doctors app this afternoon but I am so worried because I don't know what to do for him. This has happened a few times before, knot in stomach, legs won't work and can't really face anything, this is how he describes it.
He doesn't want anyone to know so I can't talk to anyone about it which is hard as well.
Thanks in advance. I'm in work but I will check back in.

hi, i suffer terribly with anxiety, what did u want to know?

Hi Loopy (I love your name)
Just things like how long, is it on and off. Is there anything that helps? Can you recommend any other treatments such as accupuncture or any good books. It's just so hard because no one knows and although he talks to me about it, it's hard for me to understand what he is going through.

Your local PCT may run a book prescription scheme which has a number of self-help books on different topics - have attached example list here One book called 'Mind over Mood' is supposed to be good for looking at anxiety and depression. All the books are available from your local library.

Try contacting your local Mind and they may have anxiety management groups that will enable him to start making steps forward.

Does he do any exercise? In general I think it can help, but specifically something calming like yoga or pilates. My GP recommended either/both when I had a period of stress-related indigestion.

Avoid 'self medication' with alcohol if at all possible, even if this seems to help.

Is he sleeping?

Sorry I'm at work I keep checking back. He is sleeping, he is fine when taking the meds but he admitted to me today that he didn't fill the last perscription because he thought he was ok instead of talking to his doctor first. His doctor told him off today and gave him another prescription. He is also referring him back to a local physc(sp) so that is what worked before.
I think it is more the fact that he can't get better on his own. He didn't feel like this before two years ago and he hates the fact that he needs this medication.
He feels better when he hears how common it is. I don't know about there but in this country there is a stigma attached to any mental health issues which is ridiculous. People seem embarassed by it.
I think excercise would help.

you're completely right VM people are embbaressed by having mental issues and there really isnt any reason to be, has you DH tried CBT (cognitive behaviorual therapy) it can be very helpful

Hi Loopy, no has tried nothing. He was doing a walk evey night but with Xmas nd that it faded out. I will look that up when I go home. I'm amazed by how many people are affected by it all. There really is no reason for embarrasment surely. Unfortunately with the way we live today everyone moves too fast and people worry about everything. I'm not surprised so many people are affected by it.

bump

Did you say the doctor is referring him to a pshychologist? That will help a lot, usually he will receive CBT from a psychologist and that is fantastic for helping with anxiety.

tbh, I think men have a harder time with things like this, in the end women manage to come round to talking whereas men find it very hard to talk about feelings even when they aren't ill usually.

What to do for him? tbh he has to do this for himself. You need to be there for him when he is suffering and just realise that how he feels is very real despite how strange it may seem. I'm sure you are very understanding about it anyway since you are asking for help here. Do you think he would like you to come to the docs appts with him? That might help you understand what is going on.

If he is suffering from panic and anxiety this book will help. It describes techniques which work well but tbh most sufferers need help and support to put these techniques into action (this is where a psychologist comes in). It does a good sceince bit which men tend to like, it explains why panic etc occurs - it's sort of mechanical! If he is having panic attacks then understanding why he feels like he does is going to help him control it.

I could go on...I usually do...but I'm getting sick of seeing my name on MN all the time . If you want any more info just ask. There will be lots of good advice on here though!

Thanks Coby, I think it is harder for men. He really didn't want to talk about it this evening although we had a chat and he said he was glad he could talk to me. He admitted being pissed off and embarrassed about it and he said he just doesn't get why he feels like this when everything is going well. He has his own business and was stressed a few years ago and he just let it go too far without asking for help. I think I will get him some books to read if he likes.
Thanks for your post.