Hi @PermanentTemporary sorry late to discussion, my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year, aged 51 with zero symptoms.
he had a prostate removal and I can categorically tell you that those who say you can’t have sex after a prostate removal are talking utter bollocks and need to stop scaremongering.
yes, ok , there can be a problem with the nerves which means there can be problems with getting and maintaining erections. However, DH’s surgeon told him to take viagra, but DH was treating it like any normal person would take viagra, as in fancy a shag, pop a pill and there you go. Then told the surgeon it wasn’t working.
the surgeon told him to stop thinking of viagra as a “sex aid” - said he needed to take it every other day, irrespective of having sex, at the maximum dose because it’s main function is a vaso-dilator and actually erections are a side effect. So DH needed to stop thinking of it as a sex aid, and treat like a rehabilitation drug. So he did, and it worked. He still takes it now, but doesn’t need it as much - but the line “use it or lose it” is very true in recovery from prostate cancer, so those in relationships are encouraged to try and have sex as much as they feel they can. It’s hard though (no pun intended) because you want to loving and supportive towards your other half, but then you don’t want to add pressure.
but those calling the op callous regarding sex, sexuality in many men is so important, and part of their identity and shouldn’t be underestimated. And a lot of recovery will focus on sexual rehabilitation. The irony being that for many women , and things such as menopause etc, sex drive and libido aren’t considered important or shrugged off - but that’s a thread for another time.
wishing you and your DP the very best. 1 in 8 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer. My husband was told he would die within 10 years if he didn’t have surgery, but his latest PSA result is 0.03 so it’s looking good for him, although still 4 years to go until fully clear