Will this likely be dementia?

[SummersBreeze]

I live at home with my mom. Over the past year or two, I noticed some things that were slightly off with her but there was nothing shocking or alarming. Some of these things included:

• ignoring her solicitor
• eavesdropping on another siblings calls outside his bedroom
• snooping in my shopping bags
• over reacting when my GP referred me to the hospital over a matter
• a local of comprehension over some things like the pandemic guidelines
• some anger bursts
• sometimes not being in a talkative mood good on for days or weeks at a time

There was a few things off with her. There was some mindless stuff that served no purpose. I had a hospital appointment back in January and she didn't care. A few months ago, I started wondering if she was going senile and if it was dementia setting in but I put it to the back of my mind.

In recent weeks I found some of my bras in her laundry. I also made a switch a few years ago to reusable/cloth pads. I was able to get her busy for a few minutes and I dipped into her room just for a quick glance and there was some of my bras hanging up and a pretty cloth pad and some hair curlers of mine.

There was an incident back in April too and it's only now I look back on it and see it as her getting confused. I didn't see it at that time.

I was going to talk to her GP this week without her knowledge but it seems as if she has perked up somewhat in her mood and speech. I'm still somewhat shocked that she stole some of my bras. We would be different sizes too. I am plus size and I have a large band size and she wouldn't be that size.

I'm anxious because I am on my own notices these changes with my siblings living abroad. I don't know if I want to say anything yet and maybe worry them.

We would shop in different shops too. Mom would never buy from mark's and Spencers for her bras. It would be more like Primark or Asda. My bras were marks and spencer bras so they wouldn't even look like her bras. I tried to rationalize it by thinking maybe she ran short of bras during the lockdown and she probably decided to steal mine but that doesn't make sense either. Surely she could have asked me to shop online for her and also the shops have been open for over a year now too.

.

It could be the beginnings of dementia but could easily be a mental health issue or menopausal symptoms, how old is your mum OP?
My mum has Alzheimer’s. The first signs was that she would constantly repeat herself, she would tell me a story or mention something she had seen or read then 20 minutes later would tell me again without any recognition that we had already had the conversation. She also lost her sense of taste/smell which I have since discovered can be a very early sign of dementia.
Mum would also do things like put the butter in the washing machine, or would drive a very familiar route and forget where she was going.
In all honesty it was all quite subtle and vague to start but because I’m with my mum most days I knew something wasn’t right but even then it took a good year of repeated GP appointments until he actually referred mum to the dementia assessment unit.
Its best to make a GP appointment and they will hopefully do a basic cognitive test.

it could be dementia yes. I guess only an actual brain scan will provide certainty though.

How old is she.

She wotbe well past menopause. She will be 70 this year.

It's very hard to know but yes with my mother it started years earlier with subtle things out of character for her.
Her GP may not have any more help for you. There's no 'cure' for dementia.
People with dementia lose their frame of reference, so things, places, names can be in their heads but they cannot 'refer back' to where they belong. Eventually words like 'next Tuesday' stop making sense because they cannot relate 'next Tuesday' to anything. When they think of it there is a blankness there whereas we can think forward into the future and back into past with some accuracy and then place 'next Tuesday' there. But the person with dementia might just say 'oh yes it's next Tuesday'.
Your mother might mistake the bras for hers one day, but then the next day say 'who is putting their stuff in my wardrobe!' and get angry with you for putting them there because she forgot she did yesterday.
They might also start cooking differently. Or changing their routine, this is a big sign. Getting up to go to the supermarket at 8.30am. Getting fixated on something. Repeating the same thing in a short space of time.
Eating foods they never ate before or insisting they always hated a food when that's not true. There's not point arguing with them on these things, just notice and say nothing. They can operate very well in their own home and no-one might notice, but if they are taken outside you might see a lot of confusion suddenly.
The big sign is that people with dementia do not notice their mistakes. Whereas a person with stress related forgetfulness will notice their mistake. The person with dementia may think someone else has done it.
If she has dementia she might stay pretty well for a good number of years yet. It's very variable.

Subtle and vague is the right words for sure. It's only recently I am connecting little bits together and thinking if there's more to it.

I hope I am wrong.

I will make an appointment and chat to the GP, just to get this on file in the hope that they can start some tests.

The last thing I want to do is ignore this in case it progresses and I wake some morning or go to work some day and witness something else more problematic.

I have siblings abroad and I think I owe to them too, to see if there's anything brewing so I don't ever phone them in a panic if she ever goes missing as an example.

It would probably be a good idea to have a chat with her GP, hopefully all is ok but early diagnosis is better than late even though none of us want to face a dementia diagnosis, it’s not the best tbh. But if it’s the worst case scenario it gives you a good chance to get things like Power of Attorneys in place which you will want to have. If you mum does have dementia, I really recommend you talk to an Admiral dementia nurse (via Dementia U.K.), they are so helpful.
All the best SummersBreeze