Mommydear
So for your loss.
I lost my father to breast cancer nearly 3 years ago. He was 64. My DS was 6 weeks old at the time. We were very "lucky" to have known his dx for nearly a year, and my Mum and I nursed him together for his last week.
As others have said, no-onecan dictate to you how you should or will grieve. Your loss will never go away, and when it hits you, the sadness will always be as great. i have found that when I want to talk to my Dad, or see him, and I feel desperately sad, it is terrible, but that these times are fewer as the years go by.
I keep typing things, and deleting them.
Do you have children? How old are you?
Don't even worry about focussing on other things. right now is your time for sadness, in whatever is your way. Please take time for you, if that is being quiet, or noisy, with others or alone. Try and explain why you want to be alone or with others (My brother found it very strange that I just wanted to sit and watch TV 2 days after Dad died- I didn't want to talk, or be hugged, or be told I was brave, I just needed to zone out).
Take care. There is so much I could say, but I don't want tto waffle, and so muc of it is about my personal experience, and this is your thread.
. Take care.