19 year old - this is normal/a mummy's boy thing isn't it?

[ServantofthePeople]

my son is back from uni and has come down with something. 4 days' headache plus fatigue. He has a tendency to stiffness/neck issues also so that's flared up.

Please reassure me this is all normal and there is no need to do anything except point him at the paracetemol and nurofen. He has, in my husband's words "regressed" and is constantly groaning, giving me reports and saying things like "the nurofen didn't touch it"/"the nuroften made me nauseous".

He feels hot and tight and has little appetite but managed a short walk last night that made him feel better and he ate dinner last night.

This is a mummy's boy thing isn't it?

It could be something like glandular fever, which is commonly caught at his age. Hot & tight could be fever + swelling.

If it is, please help him to rest & recover properly. Post-viral illness can be extremely disabling, if you push on through & over-exert, while still fighting a virus.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/glandular-fever/

A very large percentage of the population currently has Covid - has he done a test for that?

Glandular fever is common in students too - a couple of girls on my floor in halls came down with it in our first year and it floored them.

Either way, a lot of rest is needed to avoid ME/CFS/Long Covid/Post Viral Fatigue. I very much doubt he is playing up or 'regressing' just because he is home again. Get him to rest as much as possible, he will benefit in the long run.

I don't know what you mean by a mummy's boy thing? That he is ill or that he is groaning?

ah, that is helpful, thank you.

is there a test for glandular fever?

he has tested negative for covid.

What do you mean is this a mummy's boy thing? Do you think he's faking it?

I'm also not sure what you mean by is this normal? Normal for an adult with a virus to have a headache and be tired - errr yes. Surely you're aware of what being ill involves? Do you think it's something serious?

I was going to say possible glandular fever too. My dd 20 is at uni and got it a couple months ago. It wiped her out (tiredness), sore and tight throat, fever, headaches etc

Yes you can be tested for glandular fever OP. If he has had a temp for several days and is groaning in pain I’d call 111 for advice x

Test for Covid. If it's not that, then get him to A&E asap. Neck stiffness can be an indicator of meningitis.

Sounds like he has a virus and doesn't feel well. Could well be glandular fever. He probably needs a bit of TLC like anyone else who feels poorly. If he gets worse see the GP.

so, we're very close. He's healthy but has had some back/neck/musculoskeletal issues that were tricky to get a handle on and required my help. He got very anxious about these last spring/summer (coinciding with the A levels).

it was hard to disentangle the anxiety from the physical. in the end, getting a proper plan for the physical sorted out the anxiety, as did going off to uni where he's had a great two terms, much to my relief.

my mum has a co-dependent relationship with my single 56 year old brother which involves him calling her with daily reports about every stomach upset and headache. I don't want to be like that. I want DS to grow strong and independent. So I'm not objective and second-guess myself (in a way I wouldn't with his brother).

basically he has some health anxiety I guess.

the trouble with the groaning thing is that it genuinely does feel like he's doing it a bit so I hear him and come comfort him.

I guess the trouble is that anxious people get physicall illnesses too!

thank you Pelligrino I appreciate your simplicity and common sense :).

my judgment is clouded.

we've taken a photo of his throat and he'll do a telephone appt and email them the photo.

Sounds good. Keep him warm & well rested.

If you think it might be glandular fever, I wouldn't encourage too many walks. Leave all his energy for fighting the virus. It can really knock people for six.

thanks.

it's such a minor thing but this particular son's illnesses/anxieties are a bit caught up in our relationship history so I don't trust my own judgment.

if it had been my younger son I wouldn't have posted!

he's just spoken to a doctor who looked at a picture of his throat and told him to rest up (just like you lot did). I guess the GPs are looking at post-viral prevention as a priority so that small things don't become big things.

thanks again.

Ah,honey, he's not well and he wants his mum. Doesn't mean you'll be in a codependent relationship forever.

Nurse him a bit! Do whatever you want to do. I still want my mum sometimes when I'm I'll and I'm 43 (and my mum isn't alive)!

thanks June x :)

must remember: have already succeeded in breaking the chains. have already succeeded in breaking the chains. have already succeeded in breaking the chains [according to my brother and he should know]