I think my 15 year old DD may have special needs

randomman101 · 2022-03-14T17:17:38+00:00

My DD, 15, is currently in year 11 at school, or for people in America, 10th grade. She has always had trouble with her SPAG (spelling punctuation and grammar) since primary, and a lot more active than other children. She cried a lot in school as she feels overwhelmed with work, and claims she can't read because nothing goes into her brain. She feels she can't complete any work. She isn't naughty, however sometimes she can be cheeky and is ALWAYS late to everything. She is unorganised too, I've gave her 4 sets of house keys in the last 6 weeks and she's lost every one. She doesn't act her age, she's 15 and loses her temper so bad with her little brother. Any ideas what this could be?

indecisivewoman81 · 14/03/2022 17:34

Sounds like it might be ADHD which girls are very good at masking. I would speak to the schools SENCO and get some advice

LizDoingTheCanCan · 14/03/2022 17:43

You may wish to speak to her GP or SENCO, what you describe may (or may not) be symptomatic of neurodiversity. But I would say that a fifteen year old girl losing her temper with her brother is not unusual at all!

Please don't use the term special needs, it is outdated and unkind. Neurodiversity, or neuro differences, learning differences are all more appropriate.

Notagoodnight · 14/03/2022 17:46

Please don't use the term special needs, it is outdated and unkind.

Most people I know have no trouble with special needs

Mojoj · 14/03/2022 17:48

@LizDoingTheCanCan there's absolutely nothing wrong with the term special needs!!

Original poster

randomman101 · 14/03/2022 20:23

@indecisivewoman81

Sounds like it might be ADHD which girls are very good at masking. I would speak to the schools SENCO and get some advice

I have, the school give her extra time in exams as she apparently had a bit of an anxiety attack before a lesson ( which she never mentioned to me before I rang the school) over these exams and when it got looked into the school referred her to SENDCO where she done a test which she said it was like remebering numbers and letters and then got told she got granted extra time in school.

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Original poster

randomman101 · 14/03/2022 20:25

@LizDoingTheCanCan

You may wish to speak to her GP or SENCO, what you describe may (or may not) be symptomatic of neurodiversity. But I would say that a fifteen year old girl losing her temper with her brother is not unusual at all!

Please don't use the term special needs, it is outdated and unkind. Neurodiversity, or neuro differences, learning differences are all more appropriate.

I'm sorry if that offended you, my sister has dyspraxia and cousin autism and they are fine with the term special needs, although it could mean different for others!

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Kitkat151 · 14/03/2022 20:26

@LizDoingTheCanCan

You may wish to speak to her GP or SENCO, what you describe may (or may not) be symptomatic of neurodiversity. But I would say that a fifteen year old girl losing her temper with her brother is not unusual at all!

Please don't use the term special needs, it is outdated and unkind. Neurodiversity, or neuro differences, learning differences are all more appropriate.

Nothing wrong with special needs 🙄

triballeader · 15/03/2022 21:54

Sounds like my younger daughter. She has complex specific learning difficulties profoundly dyslexic which affects all her core basic secretarial and organising skills. The more stressed she gets the less words make any sense. She struggles to retain spoken information and relies on a colour coded and infographic daily bullet journal to remind her what she is supposed to be doing.
I have also lost count of how many keys, bus passes et al she has mislaid. She now keeps her house key on a retractable lanyard secured inside a closed interior pocket of her bag that is soley for her key. She uses colour coding on her bag pockets to help her remember where she put things. She has different coloured bags packed for different activties even now.
SENCO arranged for extra time for exams and extensions for school work so she could take work home to complete thus taking some of the pressure and anxiety she was having from not completeing work in class. They also arranged for her homework to be for a set time rather than task to prevent her staying up all night trying to complete.

It really is worth asking to have a chat with the school SENCO to see if they have any ideas you and the school could try to help your DD.
.

Original poster

randomman101 · 16/03/2022 18:07

@triballeader

Sounds like my younger daughter. She has complex specific learning difficulties profoundly dyslexic which affects all her core basic secretarial and organising skills. The more stressed she gets the less words make any sense. She struggles to retain spoken information and relies on a colour coded and infographic daily bullet journal to remind her what she is supposed to be doing. I have also lost count of how many keys, bus passes et al she has mislaid. She now keeps her house key on a retractable lanyard secured inside a closed interior pocket of her bag that is soley for her key. She uses colour coding on her bag pockets to help her remember where she put things. She has different coloured bags packed for different activties even now. SENCO arranged for extra time for exams and extensions for school work so she could take work home to complete thus taking some of the pressure and anxiety she was having from not completeing work in class. They also arranged for her homework to be for a set time rather than task to prevent her staying up all night trying to complete.

It really is worth asking to have a chat with the school SENCO to see if they have any ideas you and the school could try to help your DD.
.

Thank you! I've actually spoke to SENDCO department about this in a meeting I had but they said just see how she goes. She gets so overwhelmed with school work so she has extra time on homework too. I don't know what to do next, she doesn't like school, she enjoys pe but that's it and is not academic for anything which makes school harder for her! I hope your daughter is okay!!

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triballeader · 17/03/2022 11:50

DD opted for the vocational qualification route as seeing and hands on doing suits her learning style. She scraped her GCSEs was miserable at school and moved to BUC of food. They were geared up to complex SpLD's and she flew through to her NVQ' level 3's as a trained chef. She is now working as a chef. Schools tend to be geared towards academic success rather than vocation routes to work. DD is a lot happier since we paid for her formal diaognosis [and yes we did have to save up for that] Her work also make reasonable adjustments. You might find the British Dyslexia Association website useful. www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/

iPreferBooks · 17/03/2022 12:20

Might be worth looking into dyslexia and dyspraxia? I didn't get diagnosed with both of those until a few weeks ago at uni (I'm 22) and slipped through the cracks because I never misbehaved at school. Completing work/finishing things in time was a big thing like I'd do exams but run out of time to finish the paper, extra time definitely helped there.

Original poster

randomman101 · 17/03/2022 19:23

@iPreferBooks

Might be worth looking into dyslexia and dyspraxia? I didn't get diagnosed with both of those until a few weeks ago at uni (I'm 22) and slipped through the cracks because I never misbehaved at school. Completing work/finishing things in time was a big thing like I'd do exams but run out of time to finish the paper, extra time definitely helped there.

Yes! My daughter has picked all btecs and hands on subjects rather than a levels, but doesn't know whether she will get in to sixth form to do these. I've spoke to her school, but I'm in Leeds and the SENDCO here in her school is appalling. She told me she gets irratated in lesson and feel like she can't be still and relaxed enough all lesson, and cries when she doesn't get to do pe on the one day of the week she has it because she likes letting her energy out and feels like it's the only lesson she can do. The school done the same test for extra time and they did for her dyslexic friend, but hasn't mentioned it to her just gave her extra time.

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Original poster

randomman101 · 17/03/2022 19:26

[quote triballeader]DD opted for the vocational qualification route as seeing and hands on doing suits her learning style. She scraped her GCSEs was miserable at school and moved to BUC of food. They were geared up to complex SpLD's and she flew through to her NVQ' level 3's as a trained chef. She is now working as a chef. Schools tend to be geared towards academic success rather than vocation routes to work. DD is a lot happier since we paid for her formal diaognosis [and yes we did have to save up for that] Her work also make reasonable adjustments. You might find the British Dyslexia Association website useful. www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/[/quote]
Tbh is is what my daughter is like, she can't concentrate properly in lessons gets irratable and bored. Her teachers from infants have always said her handwriting organisation of her school books and her SPAG has always been a problem, and always acts childish. I never seen it as a cause for concern, when she was younger she had SO MUCH energy, but hasn't ever affected her the way it has now, but yeah that's what's DD is like right now,'bb

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