Why can't I get GPs to take me seriously?

[PinkAzaleas]

This isn't a GP bashing thread, I genuinely need to know what I'm doing wrong.

Have always had problems getting GPs to take me seriously even when I have had serious conditions. This has on occasions led to life threatening situations when the condition became an emergency. This includes a brain tumour that took six months to be diagnosed after being dismissed as depression, and a perforated bowel that was dismissed as a pulled muscle by A&E. The brain tumour was only diagnosed after seeing a locum at the GP.

I'm not one of those people who are always going to the GP. I normally go many months between visits and only go when I absolutely have to. I'm always friendly and polite and I understand how busy they are. I've now got worsening mobility issues that are getting so bad that I am having to consider giving up work which I can't afford to do, but the GP is telling me there is nothing wrong with me.

Please does anyone have any ideas of what I could be doing wrong?

Are you playing symptoms down? Though I don't know how having to give up work wld be playing it down.
What did Dr say to do about mobility issues, what's the diagnosis, any investigations?

If ever I get this sort of attitude from a GP I tell them that my mother died because her GP misdiagnosed her bowel cancer as constipation, and that I will not be fobbed off. Or words to that effect.

They usually then pause, take a long look at my face, see the determination written there, and then take me more seriously.

OP it’s because you’re a woman. It sounds trite but it’s true for many women. It’s definitely true for me. Women are seen by a lot of GP as exaggerating their symptoms (the old hysterical woman trope).

I’ve not had many positive experiences with male GPs. I was often throwing up after eating and my GP asked me what I’d eaten, I said xyz and a glass of coke and his response was “anyone would be sick after a glass of coke!” Firstly WTF. Really? Everyone throws up after a coke? and secondly, he got fixating in the coke never mind I was throwing up after many different types of meals, with or without coke!!

I was completely ignored, told I was stressed, anxious and the best one, socialising too much

I’m also dealing with infertility from GP from another condition being ignored. It was only taken seriously by a locum too.

I have no solutions OP, I just want you to know, it’s not you at all. I don’t want you to think you’re at fault. Others will be along with actual advice soon but in the meantime

Others will be along with actual advice soon

Just to clarify, this was a comment at my own lack of advice not the PPs before me, which I didn’t see before posting.

@FannyFifer

Are you playing symptoms down? Though I don't know how having to give up work wld be playing it down. What did Dr say to do about mobility issues, what's the diagnosis, any investigations?

Yes it's true I have had a tendency in the past to not make clear just how serious the symptoms are. So when I was suffering with the brain tumour and the symptoms got really bad I burst into tears and told them I felt like I was actually dying. Because as it turns out I was. They just rolled their eyes,told me to stop being hysterical and said they thought it was depression.

Now when I have an appointment they are defensive as soon as I enter the room and minimise everything I say.

@antisocialsocialclub thank you for your kind words and so sorry to hear about your troubles.

I am so scared that my current problems could be linked to a reoccurrence of the brain tumour but the GP won't even discuss it.

[quote PinkAzaleas]@antisocialsocialclub thank you for your kind words and so sorry to hear about your troubles.

I am so scared that my current problems could be linked to a reoccurrence of the brain tumour but the GP won't even discuss it.[/quote]
You’re welcome OP, and thank you but this is about you, I’m actually concerned for you.

So let me get this straight, they mocked you basically for exaggerating but you actually had a brain tumour and yet instead of learning from this, they still are minimising your current symptoms? OP you need to change GP practice. It’s what I had to do to get heard with that first experience of mine.

Firstly Is it a balance problem OP?

What does your GP attribute your decreasing mobility to? Have you had a tangible diagnosis ?
What was your original diagnosis re brain tumour? Malignant or benign and are you still being followed up by neuro?

A lack of sensitivity to a former brain tumour patient worried about relapse is fairly disgusting. Is this a sole practitioner or could you see someone you are more comfortable with? I would just be telling the receptionist I would prefer not to see Dr X (only if offered an appt with them).

If this is a sole practitioner or if most of the doctors are this way can you change surgeries?

DH was bright yellow with bilirubin levels through the roof and he was fobbed off with a routine scan appointment, he had cancer and by the time he had surgery it was too late. In my experience patients have to fight hard to get taken seriously or have some one who will fight for them.

I don’t know if it will make you feel better but research has shown woman our more likely to be under diagnosed and misdiagnosed both by male and female clinicians. So I don’t think it is you per se but the system.

I’m a lawyer, very well respected and yet in my life I’ve had various serous illnesses dismissed as anxiety/depression/viral including meningitis, liver and kidney disease and endometriosis.

If they refuse to offer you tests/referrals or don’t allow you to discuss your concerns, ask them to make a note on your file that the GP has refused to provide you with sufficient care. You know your body best, sometimes you need to be bold and not take no for an answer!

State what you want in the first sentence without waffling, for example:

I would like to be referred back to oncology as I am concerned I have secondaries.

Or I would like to be referred to a physiotherapist as I have worsening severe back pain

Or I would like you to refer me to neurology as I have weakness and abnormal sensations in both my legs

Then you can give more history when prompted. Again be precise
For example
I had the brain tumor in 2018. It was treated with surgery/radiotherapy
For the past 6 weeks I have increasing problems with pain/unsteadiness/coordination ...
I have tried analgesics /rest/diet/topical heat /exercise whatever but it's getting worse. I need further investigations to rule out anything sinister/ to keep me in my job

@caecilius1

Firstly Is it a balance problem OP?

What does your GP attribute your decreasing mobility to? Have you had a tangible diagnosis ?
What was your original diagnosis re brain tumour? Malignant or benign and are you still being followed up by neuro?

I think it probably is mainly a balance problem which then contributes to joint problems. I just feel so unstable.

The tumour was benign but in a very dangerous position right by the brain stem. The worrying thing is that it was of a type which can be linked to a genetic condition which causes recurrent brain tumours and other cancers. Surgeon at the time said he didn't think there was a link and didn't recommend genetic testing but never really explained why. Had an MRI six weeks after the operation to check all tumour gone then nothing else in ten years.

GPs at practice all look very uncomfortable when I mention the tumour and refuse to discuss it. I'm beginning to think there is some kind of marker on my notes saying I am mentally ill.

I have this as well, I think its partly doctors are overworked and partly some doctors think if you are female everything can be put down to anxiety. Or they hope telling you, you will be fine next week will make you go away.

Most recent time I had this was in A&E in October when two male doctors said I looked fine. I could not even stand and when tests came back they showed covid, campylobacter and cancer which has spread. I had told my GP 4.5 months before I thought I had cancer and was told it would be nothing.

I would try complaints route, a different GP or going private but if you believe there is something wrong then don't be fobbed off. You should not have to pay for private but I so wish I had when was fobbed off by GP. I asked him why and he said its as women get anxious he tells them its nothing.

I also find its easier to get help if you are specific about what you want like I want to be referred to neurology or I want this test. In your case would say you had a brain tumour and want referring back for tests. With my cancer the hospital said you can also go private for first tests with one of their consultants privately and they switch you over to NHS list, don't think its supposed to work like that but that is how some people get round the system. Complaints route worked for me at times.

OP,

It is morally wrong that you should get better results from going private but this is serious. If you can afford @Silkierabbit‘s plan, it is a good one. This private diagnosis followed by NHS treatment is now quite common.

And if anything is wrong I hope you will complain everywhere. Is it the CQC who assess GP practices? There are MPs who are very interested in GP neglect. If you cannot afford a private diagnosis you could also make one last try, using the assertive, factual techniques provided by a PP, and then seek advice from your own MP.

Best wishes

I suggest to be more direct. Don’t smile politely and don’t put make up on before going to the appointment. Explain your history as @SecretDoor has suggested and state clearly that it affects your daily life and your ability to work so you are in the situation when you basically are not able to do your job.
Don’t explain but rather make a statement.
Is it always the same GP or different ones? Apologies if you mentioned this already.
How old are you? I’ve noticed that I’m taken more seriously once I’ve reached 45.

I really would pay to see a private GP.
It should only cost about £25.

@Fernandina

If ever I get this sort of attitude from a GP I tell them that my mother died because her GP misdiagnosed her bowel cancer as constipation, and that I will not be fobbed off. Or words to that effect.

They usually then pause, take a long look at my face, see the determination written there, and then take me more seriously.

Same-ish story here, and having landed myself in hospital twice, partly due to my own neglect admittedly, this is what I do.

Develop a dodgy family medical history -aunts and grannies do fine. Google so you have an idea what you want, and don’t take no for an answer, you have to make a total pain of yourself (sometimes)

Can you complain? I had a hard time with GPs too, feels like everything is a struggle that you always have to fight to get any outcome. it seems this way at the moment I don't know if they are too busy m, under funded ,understaffed or just the signs of the times really that some people are beginning to lose their empathy. The quality of care at the moment is poor. I had a miscarriage where I was worried as been spotting and I has to wait a week to have a scan by then the baby is gone and I had to endure much (and not just physical) pain without pain killers as I thought the baby might still be there. It was horrifying.

I'm afraid that with the NHS in the majority of instances you have to be pushy and demanding. I'm sad to write this but that's been my experience throughout my life. My mother had cancer on and off for over a decade when I was a teenager and I quickly learnt that we would be fobbed off with all sorts of excuses / inaction unless my father and/or I stood up for her (she was frequently too ill to do it herself).

Do your research before seeing your GP then push hard. If you get nowhere, see another GP.

I find private GPs much better. They have more time for you and they're not focussed on the cheapest course of treatment (or it often feels like no treatment at all until your at death's door). Luckily I have medical insurance through work but even then, I still come across men who don't seem to want to listen to women. I've been seeing a physio privately (through my insurance) for an injury and it hadn't healed despite it being months so I asked him to refer me to a specialist. He really didn't want to and he said my insurance provider would say no. He was actually really sulky about it. I insisted he did it anyway, my insurance said yes and now I see a specialist next week. Good job I didn't listen to my physio. This bullshit makes me angry. And yes it does always seem to be male professionals with female patients.

Just ask questions.

Can you tell me how you know this isn’t a recurrence of my tumour? Can you tell me why a scan isn’t indicated? Can you explain my current mobility problems? Could you perform a full neurological exam to ensure I have no focal deficits?

@ILoveAllRainbowsx

I really would pay to see a private GP. It should only cost about £25.

Where do you find a private GP?

Do consider changing GP. I was unhappy with my one and changed (you have a right to) and the new one are much better.