Worried about DP - depression or just tired?

[Flowermum]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but thought I'd stick it in anyway.

Dp has always needed to sleep a lot, I've noticed it since the start. But recently all he wants to do is sleep. He sleeps when he comes home from work, has dinner, puts DD to bed, sleeps again, gets up, says goodnight and goes to bed!

Now this isn't every night but pretty much.

He has to be up at 6.30am for work and spends about 2 hours in traffic a day. He goes to college one day and one evening a week, which is obviously draining. He's got an exam coming up in the next week or two which he's finding it hard to study for because he has to sleep all the time due to tiredness.

I know we've made some pretty big life decisions recently (moving city prob the main one) but surely that wouldn't be enough for him to plunge into this state?

He doesn't want to talk to me, gets irritated sooo easily. I'm constantly walking on eggshells. He says the problem is he doesn't get enough sleep but he's a grown up, can't he make the decision to go to bed early?

This isn't affecting DD but I'm not sure if I can live with this for the rest of my life. My mother walks on eggshells with my father and I hate it! I love DP so much but his temper and distance is hurting me.
Should I just feed him more fruit and veg? I do all the cooking/cleaning/shopping for the household but it's never enough (ok so the place is a mess but it's not that bad!). I don't know what else I can do to take the load off. He nearly had a seizure when I asked him to do the wash up last night, though he did it tonight...
Anyone have any suggestions? Please?

I've been depressed before and the main characteristic for me was the need to sleep all the time - it was my way of shutting it out. I think it maybe worth a trip to the Dr's for your DP so that he can talk things out and take it from there. They can do blood tests to make sure he doesn't have a thyroid problem or anything that could account for him being tired.

It does sound as if he has a lot on board at the moment and two hours in traffic a day would kill me. Mind you, he shouldn't freak when you ask him to help out - you are just as busy by the sound of it!

Thanks PussinJimmyChoos. I had thought of asking him to go to Docs but can't imagine he will. Might try again at the weekend.

Interestingly, his mother has thyroid problem, maybe it's connected?

(and yeah! I do have a lot on my plate! thanks!!)

Message withdrawn

That could also be it Doodletoyou, I did go back to bed yesterday for a nap when DD went down for the first time since she was a newborn!

Must go to bed now or else I'll be the ratbag in the morning! Thanks for the support!

I'm afraid I can't offer much help, but..my DH is EXACTLY the same at the moment, and has been for some time, it is hard to live with!

he may be depressed, but he isn't a child. You are not responsible, and besides cooking a healthy diet for all, you can't take control of this situation, despite it being out of control. He needs to do his fair share around the house. that may not be very much, but you can't just do it for him just because he is stroppy.

His life does sound tiring actually, with work and college,m but it's not your fault. He needs to go to bed at 10.30 every night to ensure he has adequate sleep - having said that is he actually able to sleep at night? When I was depressed I could sleep all day but not at night.

The constant exhaustion and need to sleep is a feature of depression for many (but not all) - it does seem to be part of wanting to escape from the world etc. But whether its a mental or physical issue, sleeping that much is not "normal" and he really should see his GP.

The poor bloke sounds washed out. Get him some multi-vits. I think he should go to the GP though.