Birthmarks - want to speak to someone else whose child has a facial birthmark

[Likeasow]

My DD has a large facial CMN - a hairy naevis (should be able to spell it by now really) - she is 5 now and I could do with some advice and moral support.

Sorry, that sounds as if the support society pushed me into it, they didn't, they gave me a local contact who could understand that I wanted to know what it was and get some advice, but they told me to expect to have to push the nhs for this and they were right. This all led to us eventually being offered treatment. But treatment isn't the automatic choice. Each time hes had it has needed a general and afterwards its bright purple or red, like a burn for at least a week. It must hurt but being that age he has had no fear of hospitals.

Thank you SpawnChorus - good to hear that as that is what we are doing

PG how old is your son now? we were seen at Beford when DC was tiny - a week old and they freaked me out! the thought of a general and dermabrasion (wasn't offered laser) was too much - and the 'after' photo did not look better than the birthmark. Totally know that feeling of wanting to rescue them - I know I have to stand back now and let her deal with it herself unless she asks me to but it is so hard.
PC - is your DS's Birthmark raised or lumpy? if so will the laser treatment even out the skin or just lighten it?
We like her birthmark but are fully aware that she may not especially when a teenager. Because it is so near the eye were were pretty sure that like SpawnChorus said the scar would not be as neat and tidy as they were suggesting - they couldnt' show us any really positive evidence.
Would love to hear from an adult who has grown up with one and could give us some advice.
BTW I spoke to someone recently whose DS has had treatment and NHS in their area refused to pay for it which must be really hard.

Hi there likeasow, just wanted to add some support. I know that it is not the same but my DH has a large port wine birthmark on his face and he remembers all too clearly what it was like to be a child who stood out.

He says the most important thing is to try to equip your child with skills that will help them get recognised for something other than the birthmark. Find out what they like/what they are good at and support them and help them all you can (and I don't mean pushy mother her, I just mean trying to work out the thing that makes them tick and try to help them become really good at it, they need it more than children without something that singles them out as "different"). I am afraid he did suffer at school but that was because he was also an English boy in a Scottish school and bullying was rife. He had to work harder on his skills to be able to rise above it and he has done. He just wishes his parents took a less "he has to tough it out" attitude and a more "lets equip him with some skills to help him out" attitude. It was the 70's and times were different then but I am just passing on what I know he would say if he wasn't working right now.

I know it isn't what you asked for but I thought it might add another perspective. (BY the way, I watched a documentary once n birthmarks and one of the parents told their child they had been touched by an angel, she always felt special because of that).

Good luck.

Hi there likeasow. Hes four now. He saw Dr Monk at Bedford. Its a flat birthmark so the laser seems to have both lightened it and made some bits disappear. It used to be one continous large mark and now its got seperate areas. It depends what after pictures they showed you, straight after looks awful and actually after each treatment in the short term parts of it actually go darker than before, before lightening over the next few months. Can honestly say it now looks much less noticeable but it helps that its mostly under his chin. One 'helpful' health visitor when he was under 6 months said he could always grow a beard....He attends nursery most days as I work and this has given him lots of confidence and the kids there seem oblivious. My strategy will be to help him find things hes good at and keep that confidence as much as he can. I can send you a photo if it helps but I haven't mastered doing it by internet so would snail mail it! Could try text message though if you want to.

Likeasow - oh, please don't make any decisions based on my scar!! I think I probably scar quite easily, and I remember the stooopid nurse who removed my dressing pulling and tugging before reaising that they had (deliberately) stitched the pad onto the wound

And it was about 25 years ago...I'm sure procedures have improved greatly.

I was really just trying to say that if my DCs had a relatively minor birthmark which is likely to improve with age, I would leave them for as long as poss before doing anything.

DebsCee - I had a peek at your website. Your DS is making amazing progress! The difference between 13 mo and two years is particularly spectacular! It must have been sooooo hard for you to see him being operated on so many times (and the photo of his HUGE smile even when he's all bandaged after his third surgery brings a lump to my throat what :

sorry - my DS whacked the keyboard I meant to say what a brave boy!!

my youngest gd has a large bm on her face, i have always told her it's were the good fairy kissed her b4 she was born , she is now 7 and that's what she tells anyone who asks abut it.

Don't worry SpawnChorus - we had already made out decision years ago - really wanted suggestions of how to support her until she makes her own choice.
I like the angel and fairy kiss ideas we have always said it is what makes her special and is a thing of beauty.
Thanks TwoFalls - that is really helpful. It is really good to speak to adults with BMs who have got through their youth and are on the other side

Yes please CAT me PralineGirl - I tried to CAT you but its blocked.

I think I have now unblocked it, likeasow, but yours seems blocked!

OOh - how to unblock...will try

My son is 3 and has one on his face which has involuted a great deal over the past couple of years - it looks a lot better than it did and personally I am now in no hurry to get anything done about it. He knows about it and that it's his special beautiful strawberry, and his 5yo brother is envious of it! I had completely the opposite feeling about it when he was littler and it was bigger, especially because he nearly lost the sight in one of his eyes because of it, and because of the downright cruelty of some people (although there were plenty of lovely kind remarks made by strangers too).

Pics on my profile.

What is involuted? my DD2 is jealous too! she sticks stickers on her cheek and says its her BM!
told DD about the angel kiss- she loved it - dropped her at a party this afternoon and her friend was asking her about it and giving it a stroke and she was proudly and happily saying it was where the angels kissed her - worked straight away! thanks!

ooh cute boys - and amazing cakes! do you make them?

sorry, involuted means it's shrinking and losing pigment and basically slowly disappearing of its own accord. Most of them do this eventually.

yes, I make the cakes (too much time on my hands )

Just joined mumsnet and wish I had have done it sooner. My daughter has a cavernous and capilliary haemangioma.
She has been under the hospital since this appeared at 3 weeks old. It is located near her ear and unfortunately grew increasingly large at about 6 weeks old. It was the size and hardness of a cricket ball which is quite big on a 6 week old and also has the red strawberry birthmark on top of it.
She went through the MRI scanner as the concern was that is was close to the blood vessel running to her brain which it time could have caused a stroke.
She was put on high dose steroids to reduce this which in time had other complications and concerns but after about a years battle it has now reduced in size. It is still there and when she gets hot and stressed this grows in size.
She is almost 2 and Im a little concerned that once she hits school age she may get picked on and we have been offered laser to remove the redness but unfortunately no light at the end of the tunnel for the tumour growth as it is a wait and see situation.
We are a member of the birthmark support group and attended a fun day last year which was a great day. If anyone else has experienced anything like this then please get in touch.

My daughter has a straberry mark on her upper lip which she's had from a few days after birth, she also has one on her wrist. They are both about an inch square and the one on her face is very obvious. She's 3 now and neither of them have changed for the last 2 years, we've been to see a consultant peadiatric plastic surgeon and we have to go back in september to see about them being removed althoug not sure when this will be. The Cons. said they wont involute any more and i'd rather her have them removed sooner rather then later if thats going to be the inevitable outcome. They don't bother me or her infact to be honest i dont even see them any more. People can be cruel though.