Living with a prolapse

[Coolmama85]

Hi girls

Just signed up to mumsnet to get advice. Though I’m a avid reader, i need to share my story as I’m at my wits end

Nearly 3 years ago (July 2019) i noticed something just wasn’t right down below when my tampons wouldn’t stay in. I resorted to wearing pads as I sometimes did and just ignored the tampon situation for a while. I then eventually went to docs and I was put on a waiting list to see a gynaecologist. So, fast forward to now...my prolapse has got worse. Like really bad. I eventually seen the gynaecologist after a year on a waiting list and crying down a phone when they told me it could be another 2 year wait because of covid. When I did see him, all he done was make me get on couch, spread legs, cough and that was it. He told me my prolapse was back and front. That was a few months ago now and from that it has deteriorated drastically. My vaginal prolapse began as the worse....feeling loose during sex, queefing....etc but now it’s minor compared to the back prolapse. It’s bearing down on my bowels and it’s basically impossible to do a number 2. I spend my Sunday morning trying to pass a stool and when I did, it came out with an almighty force I felt as if all my insides came out sorry tmi I know. Another phonecall to doctor yesterday and I think she’s fed up of me ringing. She told me she has me down to see gynaecologist again but doesn’t know when it will be. In December I went private to a woman’s health clinic, the lady give me a few exercises to try and told me surgery will be a last option. I’m just so upset over it all. I’m only 36 and feel like a old woman. I’m so embarrassed to discuss with my partner thought he does know bits. I just keep pushing him away. I’m just worried incase he will leave me if I tell him the full story. Can anyone tell me any successful stories

@PossiblyDreaming what surgery did you have, if you don’t mind me asking?

@Coolmama85 so sorry for you, I know the panic and how you are feeling.

Exercises will only get you so far. You can maintain and slightly help but there is a point when exercises won’t do anything if your prolapse is too advanced.

First things first you need an NHS or private to a Urogynaecologist (not a gynaecologist). They specialise in prolapses.

Then you need to do the exercises very well and see a physio over time to maintain and help with where you are. I had a fantastic womens physio… just strengthening eveybrubf I possibly could all around my pelvic floor helped hugely. )But I’m still not the same but I am fine with how I am now… and who knows what the future holds for me)

There are two Facebook groups that are excellent. I finally felt I’d found people when I got there. Search POPS and second one is Sling the Mesh. That’s the group that campaigned against mesh, regardless of your feelings on mesh there’s a lot of good resources there.

My mum had hysterectomy surgery about five years due to prolapse and she is like a new woman. Fobbed off with exercises until she went Private. He said it was far far too advanced.

I had issues for about two years after the last birth. I did extensive Pilates 1:1 for a year at a physio centre before my physio said I could go to a gym if I found a very good PT rhst was sensitive to someone’s health.

There is a road out of this you’ll find yours. I know how much it affects every single part of our life. It’s awful. But it will change x

Thanks everyone for your advice. Really appreciate it.

Just really struggling and emotional at the minute. Like I said I had a more in-depth chat with my partner about it the other night. Not the gory details but my worries and concerns. He was so good and assured me he’s there every step of the way. My overthinking is shocking though. I’m thinking all kinds of bad scenarios and ended up crying in bed to him last night. He’s banned me from googling things. He wants to be ring this private gynaecologist today first thing and we will take it from there. I know he’s right and Google sometimes is so bad.

Yep I’ve had to insert my fingers too a few times to help me pass a stool. Never worked though. Doctor give me a drink to take up 6 times a day to make it basically slide out easier though Sunday morning was so bad, after being on the toilet for what seemed forever, one finally came out with an almighty bang. When it did something seemed to move about inside as the stool seemed to leave a massive hole. It literally had been sitting in there so so long. I know this is all very TMI. Might I add my partner was outside the toilet door dying to pee lol.

I’m just fed up. At 36 I don’t want to be sitting like this. It’s really dragging me down as few days. I feel I’m constantly getting fobbed off. BUT from today I need to be more assertive and positive. No more googling into deep dark forums, ring private clinic in Belfast and know that this can’t go on and there is help there.

Might I add i finally got a date at the end of month to get my haemorrhoids banded. Oh I didn’t mention them before. Yes I’ve them too. Lol. I’ve it all going on.

Really do appreciate all ur kind helpful words. I’ve re-read them a few times here.

@coolmama85 good luck with the call. Jist know you aren't alone. Lots of people are too embarrassed to talk about this. I also had a pile op. It wasn't banding but did sort them. Until this year they are back....12 years later. But lots I can try before requiring surgery. And it's nothing like how they were straight after giving birth when I nearly died when I had a look!!!

[quote PossiblyDreaming]@Mumdiva99 what laser options are you looking at? If it’s vaginal tightening laser that won’t work for prolapses, unfortunately.[/quote]
Yes laser....but they advertise prolapse.

What surgery did you have?

[quote Mumdiva99]@coolmama85 good luck with the call. Jist know you aren't alone. Lots of people are too embarrassed to talk about this. I also had a pile op. It wasn't banding but did sort them. Until this year they are back....12 years later. But lots I can try before requiring surgery. And it's nothing like how they were straight after giving birth when I nearly died when I had a look!!![/quote]
Thank you. They are torturous little buggers aren’t they. I’ve had mine 18 years. I always kind of pushed them in and ignored them hoping they will magically disappear lol. Though them + in a prolapsed backside = showering several times a day lol. I had an appointed in hospital exactly a year ago on Tuesday to get them looked at. They said they would do camera test then at next app. So for months I’ve pushed for appointed and exactly a year later I got the call yesterday that camera of lower colon is end of this month. I’m presuming they will band them on this day! Once they are sorted that’s one thing ticked off the list. She said I have a skin tag that she won’t be able to band. Where one had burst. But that’s fine. I can live with that. As long as the rest go.

@Lotsofpots

Sorry you're going though this. Obviously it's impossible for any of us to know whether an exercise based regime would be appropriate, or whether surgery is necessary but in the meantime I can recommend the following online exercise programmes - combined with a brilliant womens physio I was able to reverse my prolapse:

• hab-it.com
• fem fusion on you tube

Both are womens health physios who had prolapses.

Despite what your physio said, my experience was that it is far more than just kegel squeezes that are required to strengthen the pelvic floor, there are a whole suite of muscles than need to come into play. Both of the above are cheap (YouTube obviously free), quick and easy to follow. Might be worth a try?

Good luck.

I’m so glad to hear u were able to reverse your prolapse. What kind of prolapse had u? I love hearing stories like this. Gives me hope x

Well that’s next step. Booked an appointment with Urogynaecologist specialist there. Not to very end of April though just want it checked now and for him to wave a magic wand and it be gone lol. I will try not to be too anxious from now til then.

The pelvic floor exercises may help a lot, you just have to give them time, like few months. Also, avoid carrying heavy stuff. Divide your shopping into smaller bags. Don't carry more than 6kg, much less if possible. Don't do exercise that impacts pelvic floor, like running, lunges, squats or any sit-up type exercise.
When doing a poo, get a small wipes type box and put your feet on it so your knees are higher than your bum. Sit up straight then lean forward with your back straight as if you are pressing your bellybutton between your knees. This helps with the passing of the stool.
Clenching and unclenching your bum is better than straining or bearing down if you can.
I had a prolapse repair 7 yrs ago (stitched only no mesh). They tend to not want to do that operation if you still might have kids. Mine was very successful. Now it's not completely right but I have zero symptoms day to day. Some sensation loss in the sex department remained unfortunately but I think that muscle damage was already there from my forceps/venthouse childbirth.
They only repaired the front wall but for some reason that fixed the back passage symptoms too (the difficulty passing stool, incomplete emptying, ribbon shaped stool and the need for prolonged cleaning up after a bowel motion).

@Coolmama85

Well that’s next step. Booked an appointment with Urogynaecologist specialist there. Not to very end of April though just want it checked now and for him to wave a magic wand and it be gone lol. I will try not to be too anxious from now til then.

Great. Well done. That’s a big step.

@Happydays353535 glad your surgery was successful. Ur prolapses sound identical to mine. Doing a number two is a nightmare isn’t it!! When u say the sensation loss in the sex department remained....do u mean you still couldn’t really feel ur partner? This is what I worry about so much. I just know there has to be something else better than what I’m suffering. I think if I could get the back fixed through surgery...the front could be helped with exercises. Maybe I’m wrong. My physio said she thought on last phonecall when I explained what’s happening now, that my back prolapse is what caused the front. I’m not sure though. My back prolapse hasn’t really reared its ugly head til last few months.

@Anyfeckinusername

Thank you. I overthink things too much so I said from now on I’m not and these things need sorting hence why I took the bull by the horns today and just rang. It’s never ever going to go away unless I do something about it. I just don’t want to be like this at 36. Though my physio said in December, she sees girls off all ages, some with no children, that have prolapses. I always related it to pregnancy/old women. This is definitely not the case.

@Coolmama85 well done for getting your appointment booked - is it with Patrick Campbell? I saw him a couple of years ago after my GP misdiagnosed me with a prolapse (turns out I had a totally different issue) and would really recommend him. Obviously appointments of this kind are never fun experiences but he and his lovely nurse really put me at ease. I think he is very much at the forefront of his field and will be able to help you.

@hopeishere

Can you recommend anyone in Belfast? I booked a man today in Belfast that I was highly recommended but it’s not to very end of April. I really was hoping to be seen ASAP as it’s private. X

Ladies, have any of you had haemorrhoids banded?

@Whataboutye88

Well that’s that then...i will definitely stick with him then! Yep patrick campbell. My physio couldn’t recommend him enough either but app just seems so far away. But time is flying by, can’t believe it’s March already so I will just wait! Glad yours wasn’t a prolapse...hope it was something very minor! X

Yep I would definitely advise waiting for appointment with him - I know there are only a couple of other options in NI and he is definitely the best. I saw two physios (after my appointment with him) and they both spoke very highly of him. I bet your appointment seems like a million miles away but it will be here before you know it. Well done for taking the bull by the horns and getting the appointment booked. These things can be fixed but so often we get told it’s a normal part of being a woman and fobbed off/told to put up with it. Good luck with it all.

I think he's good. You can listen to him here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ8ymO9IHc/?utmmmedium=copylink

Even private appointments are hard to come by these days! You could ask to be notified if he has any cancellations if you would be able to get to Belfast quickly.

@hopeishere

They don’t have a cancellation list as that’s the first thing I asked when the lady told me April. I will just have to be patient. Just anxious but I just need to remember it can and will be fixed, somehow. No one should live like this in this day and age.

April isn’t too bad. Sounds like you’ve found a good one.

If going to Dublin is an option, Gerry Agnew is the best of the best svph.ie/consultant/dr-gerry-agnew/ (private)

Hi again ladies

Just needing more advice. Like I said above, I have booked to go private to a specialist on the 26th of April, but literally just now in post I’ve got another app to go to hospital to see the gynaecologist I’ve seen once before. This is on the 28th of April. Should I keep my app with the private doc or cancel it and see what gynaecologist has to say now? And rebook the private specialist for after?

What would yous do?

I’d see the highly recommended private guy. You got very little from your last NHS appt didn’t you?

Just responding to the comments about lasers - I’ve had ThermiVa (RF rather than laser but same general, non-surgical idea). It was a reputable gynae that did mine and he says it helps with prolapse but obviously can’t fix it. He made a comment once that he has some ladies coming to him (you need yearly top-ups) who really need surgery but can’t take the time out of their careers just yet - and it improves it enough for them to carry on.