Stubborn DP

[Thisisnofun]

DP has just taken their BP and it's 157/115, he then told me he has had a few chest pains and pain on and off in his left arm.

He's panicking but also brushing it off. I've told him to contact our GP but I fear he won't.

He's been feeling rough for a while now, not sleeping well, aches and pains.

Any words of wisdom for me to try and persuade him he needs checking over.

Whenever dh is similar I tell him stone faced I lied about the In Sickness and In Health bit..he knows I am joking but any self inflicted problems count me out for nursing duties...

Come on
You know the answer
Chest pain plus pain in left arm?
A&e

A&E
111
999

Basically needs to be seen tonight

I've said all of the above to him and he's having none of it.
The chest pain he says has been intermittent.

I've got him to agree to call our GP in the morning but I want him to wake up and realise he needs an urgent check up

Well he could ignore like my dad did

Massive cardiac arrest 12 hours later. Nothing they could do.

Its been 8 years without him now

@Opal8

Well he could ignore like my dad did

Massive cardiac arrest 12 hours later. Nothing they could do.

Its been 8 years without him now

😞 I'm so sorry for your loss.

He's promised me he'll call the GP surgery tomorrow but he works at the hospital. I've told him to just go to the A&E dept but he thinks he'll be wasting their time.

Well why don’t you compromise and ring 111 - ensure he is honest about the symptoms he is experiencing and let them guide you.

I’d be furious. OK there might be nothing wrong and you get sent home after a few uncomfortable hours in a&e or he might have a massive heart attack in the middle of the night.

Why do men do this??? Such toxic masculinity. It’ll be fine for him if he dies, he’ll be dead, it’s his family who will have to live with it bc he wouldn’t go!

Look, I don't know you or him. I've no skin in this game.

But...please...my last memory of my lovely dad is me performing cpr on him.

So what if its nothing? Ask any Dr...they would rather treat a bad case of indigestion than miss a preventable cardiac death.

I would not wish what my family has gone through on anyone.

@Ohpulltheotherone

Well why don’t you compromise and ring 111 - ensure he is honest about the symptoms he is experiencing and let them guide you.

I’d be furious. OK there might be nothing wrong and you get sent home after a few uncomfortable hours in a&e or he might have a massive heart attack in the middle of the night.

Why do men do this??? Such toxic masculinity. It’ll be fine for him if he dies, he’ll be dead, it’s his family who will have to live with it bc he wouldn’t go!

I've tried suggesting ringing 111 but he's having none of it. Doesn't want to waste anyones time. I've had to be quite blunt with him about how he wouldn't be wasting time with his symptoms but I don't think he's going to shift.

@Opal8

Look, I don't know you or him. I've no skin in this game.

But...please...my last memory of my lovely dad is me performing cpr on him.

So what if its nothing? Ask any Dr...they would rather treat a bad case of indigestion than miss a preventable cardiac death.

I would not wish what my family has gone through on anyone.

I am so sorry that's your last memory.

He's incredibly stubborn and as another poster said it's that male masculinity thing if it's nothing.

His BP reading is enough without him saying he's had this pain on and off since yesterday.

I’d call 111 on his behalf & explain. They have been known to send out an ambulance, although appreciate that things are hugely stretched at the moment.

Taking a (not so much) wild guess here, he's scared and knows that a call will trigger an ambulance call out. He may well need it. And you need to insist on it.
You're worried and so is he.

Bits of his heart muscle could be dying as we speak.

Every minute wasted is potential irreversible damage.

The tests will be an ecg and blood test. Nothing too invasive if that's what's worrying him

Call an ambulance for him and let the paramedics tell him he needs to go in. Don't give him the choice.

People are being advised not to wait for ambulances and get lifts atm

I'd rather my DH be mad at me and alive than do as he wants and be dead.

Yeah
I'd just phoned an ambulance and let the paramedics deal with him

Thankyou all. I agree with everything everyone of you has said.
I've told him the tests he needs are an ecg and blood tests.

I don't want to stress him out further by going on about it but I know that from why he's told me he needs a check over at the least. Sooner rather than later.

I would go and pack him a bag and say either we go to a and e now or I call for an ambulance..... He needs to be on urgent medication for his BP... The pains might be anxiety, my oh has high blood pressure and often felt tight chested and chest pains but this has resolved since going on BP meds.

Just call an ambulance fgs
What's the worst he can do/say?
At least he'll be alive

This is all you need to say:
"DH either come to the hospital now or come and help me look at funeral flowers online and pick which ones you'd like"

Aspirin if he isn't allergic and ring 999
He doesn't have to agree
My mum didn't and I worked for the ambulance service so I sent a crew without telling her. She went ballistic when 2 paramedics and a student traipsed in but I was right

Just ring for him

Yes, I was about to say give him an aspirin.
I would be overriding his wishes and calling 111 as well.
You're entitled to seek medical advice for your peace of mind.

IF YOU CARE ABOUT HIM CALL SOMEONE NOW.
Sorry too shout, but you need a wake up call.