Primary outbreak genital herpes

[Mortifiedwoman]

I’ve NC for this.
So I’m a female in my 30s with kids and married to long term partner. He suffers with coldsores, and I have seemingly contracted HSV from him.
Noticed Saturday evening I was a bit burny on my labia and towards buttocks, but thought nothing of it. Sunday morning in the shower I was fairly sore and could feel bumps, I had a look and noticed spots on labia. Immediately thought it was herpes as we had sex in the week including oral, and he developed a coldsore the day after.
It was quite uncomfortable to sit down on Sunday, by Monday (I had self referred to GUM clinic) it was really sore and I was struggling to walk. On Tuesday I heard nothing from GUM clinic so spoke to GP and got a F2F appt. she confirmed HSV, took swabs and prescribed aciclovir and lidnocaine gel. So we are now day 6/7 of outbreak, and it’s just horrific. It is honestly worse than childbirth. The lesions are all over my labia, down to my bum and in between. Weeing is like pouring acid over open wounds, even when I pour water over myself. I can’t wipe after going to the toilet, I have to shower or bath every time. I can’t sleep as it’s always agony. I’m hobbling around, sitting down whilst gritting my teeth. I take regular paracetamol and ibuprofen, the lidnocaine gel is also like acid on open wounds, I’m scared to drink because it means I need to wee again.
I’m crying myself to sleep. I’ve taken 3 full days of aciclovir and on day 4 now (200mg 5 times a day), I think it’s meant to stop it getting worse and help heal the lesions quicker.

I read online 2-4weeks for a primary outbreak to heal, but I just can’t keep going like this. I don’t know what to do. Honestly I have never felt pain like it, I had no idea it was like this. I guess it’s not something people talk about really as it’s embarrassing to know you have it let alone tell others.

Can anyone give their experiences of this at all? Realistically how long will it take to feel better? How can I make it easier? I think the labia ones at the top are improving as they are ‘okay’ but the ones at the bottom of Labia, towards perineum, and in buttocks are horrific. It’s like having barbed wire covered with acid in my arse all the time.

Help 😩😩

That sounds absolutely horrific! Poor you OP. I also caught herpes from cold sores but don't remember it being that bad. Hopefully once you are over this flare up future ones will be milder.

Oh good god, you poor thing. I had my first outbreak around 15 years ago. I remember it well, it was utter agony. I had to lie in bed on my back with my knees up and legs apart because my vulva was too swollen to be able to bring my legs together. And the sores, and the weeing.... Oh god.... I took Paramol for the pain - I think it's the strongest over the counter pain killer you can buy, and it made the pain vaguely bearable. Try to stay hydrated even though weeing is scary. Maybe a bag of frozen peas or similar wrapped in a soft cloth or towel to put over your poor enflamed vulva

I have some good news. I had a handful of other outbreaks in the following couple of years but they were NOWHERE NEAR as bad as the first. I would say they were 5-10% of the intensity of the initial outbreak. I haven't had an outbreak for a very long time now. So hang in there - I know it's utter hell but this is as bad as it's going to get x

Thank you for your responses.

@Lottapianos it’s utterly excruciating isn’t it?! I had no idea. I’ve found a way to wee without it stinging, literally leaning forward hands on the floor, whilst sitting on the toilet. No contact at all with the nasty raw lesions, so this is a relief. I really hope it’s never like this ever again. I have a supply of aciclovir from GP incase I feel it starting up again so can start it straight away as opposed to 3 days in to the outbreak

It's excruciating. You poor thing.

Sit in the bath with water in it to pee and it won't burn

Also, it won't be like that again!

First outbreak is the worst. Subsequent outbreaks (if you even get any) are much much milder

Hey, so just thought I’d give an update on my HSV primary outbreak. We are day 10 now, finished five days of aciclovir on Saturday. I started to turn a corner on Sunday and slept more or less all the night. I just can’t believe how painful it was. The lesions are really dried up now, still sore in my bum but I expect they will take longest to heal due to the area.

For anyone in the future who comes across this thread, it does get better!!!
I did daily baths with salt, four times a day ibuprofen and paracetamol, sometimes taking co-codamol instead of paracetamol, wearing pj bottoms everyday, I found leaning right forward to wee helps reduce burning if urine touches lesions, lie on bed with legs open to allow lesions to dry after shower/bath. And see GP/GU clinic as soon as you suspect it to get on the antivirals.

So glad you're feeling better. It's an absolute shocker the first time x

I'm so glad I found this as I was going to start a thread for advice.
I had a sore on my vagina around 6 years ago. I didn't think much of it, it occasionally came back but the last year it's been nearly every couple of months.
I decided to get it checked out and it was confirmed it's herpes.
I think I caught it from oral sex from my husband as he doesn't have any issues on his genitals but did used to get cold sores occasionally.
The thing is I'm in the process of divorcing my husband.
I was really looking forward to meeting someone new and having a decent sex life, at last.
I'm absolutely devastated,nobody will want me with this and I feel my life is over.
Can anyone give me some advice please?

Bump

I had my first outbreak when I was about 20 (50 now) and I've never forgotten the pain! My sympathies OP. There is nothing like it. But as PP has said, future outbreaks are never anywhere near as intensely painful. In fact you may never get another outbreak again.

I know you're trying to avoid drinking much but that will concentrate your urine so it will sting more. Drink lots of water and keep using a jug of water to pour as you wee.

No magic cure that I can suggest, sorry. But this is the worst it gets and it absolutely WILL ease and heal.

Oops sorry! Just read your update! I'm so happy to hear you're on the mend.

@Devastated2021 please don’t worry too much. I had a brief 2 month relationship with someone who gave me herpes, and was similarly devastated, and really concerned about dating again.
6 months later I met someone incredible, went exclusive on the 2nd date, and plucked up the courage to tell him about the herpes the morning after (he’d stayed over, but nothing happened as I was terrified of telling him). As soon as he left the next day, I knew I wanted to be with him, but also knew I had to tell him and give him the option of walking away. Was so scared to say it, so texted him.
He replied within minutes, along the lines of ‘no worries, this doesn’t change the way I feel about you’. And it was never mentioned again. He’s now my DH ❤️

So it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be single forever, but I can understand why you’re worried. Feel free to PM me if you want to ask any questions.

@Devastated2021 and @Mortifiedwoman - please read the Herpes Viruses Association - it should give you a lot of reassurance as well as practical advice. They are the experts in herpes. Their Faqs on transmission are especially helpful.

So glad I found this thread. My dd (16) has just been diagnosed and I am utterly devastated and so is she. She stated on Friday with symptoms but only told me on Sunday after been in excruciating pain all weekend. We just went to drs last night and got it confirmed. He has put her on the anti virals but her pain is so severe just like you described @Mortifiedwoman I will pass the tip on to her about weeing as she is really suffering there. Was there anything else you found helped you sleep/ease the pain? We are using the lidocaine cream, ibroprofen and paracetamol.
I feel so sad for her that this boyfriend (who is much older I may add) has given this to her and she will suffer with this life long and potentially affect her future boyfriends. This hasn't sunk in yet for her as this boy is denying he had it but also saying he will stay with her - pretty sure he knew he had it im livid! Feeling like an utterly rubbish mum right now. Had all the conversations with her about having unprotected sex etc but still we found ourselves here 😢
How are you all finding living with it? What can she expect with another outbreak and how quick did you have another outbreak after the initial one?
Sorry for the questions just trying to wrap my head around this and find out as much as I can so to support dd

Oh that’s so sad for your daughter. So I had my first pain free shower on Christmas Day, it really does last a long time. My swab came back as HSV1 so much less likely to reoccur thank goodness. Unfortunately nothing really helped with the pain, I had daily baths with salt, ibuprofen 400mg four times a day plus the paracetamol, ice packs, I couldn’t use the lidnocaine as it was excruciating. Pillows between my legs so they weren’t touching so much. I got covid at the time so wasn’t in work, not sure how I would have worked as on my feet the whole time.

I hope she feels better soon, it’s really debilitating when that outbreak occurs

@Mortifiedwoman thank you for your reply. She has done 2 days of anti vitals and appears to be turning a corner thankfully. Hoping for another improvement today. Her swab test should be back to drs on Friday so will see. I wasn't even aware of There was the two types although I'm presuming it will be HSV2 😢 praying it could be 1
Didn't realise one leads to less outbreaks.
It's reassuring to hear others felt the same and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you

@Chocachocaholic yes HSV1 and HSV2. 1 usually causes oral herpes and transmitted from mouth the genitals, 2 genitals to genitals…. In most scenarios.
Glad your daughter is starting to turn a corner, I really feel for her. As of life isn’t tough enough at 16

Sorry, I don't want to jump in, but firstly sorry for what you're experiencing, I'm not sure if L-Lysine has been mentioned. I take 1 a day for my cold sores, since I've done it I've had less. It's been shown to be helpful for genital herpes also; in reducing reoccurances.

@Mortifiedwoman thank you. She says still painful and still cannot walk much but pain
Is bareable enough to sleep etc and she's much more chatty.

@anon12345678901 thank you for your suggestion. We have been pondering if there is something she can take daily to prevent another outbreak as she is doing her GCSEs in a few months and cannot afford to be in pain and missing school or exams and just basically having to stress about this. I will look into that and book a drs appointment to discuss the options and mention that 🙂

Can I ask all the women on here if any have children and given birth naturally or C Section and was all ok during labour and afterwards. XX

get a regular prescrition of aciliovor which prevents futyer outbreaks and transmission LIFE CHANGING

@MarieCC lots of women who give birth have history of herpes. You will get a prophylactic course of aciclovir from 36wks until birth to prevent any outbreaks around the time of giving birth. If you have it already you produce antibodies and it shouldn’t ever be an issue, if it’s a first outbreak ‘primary’ around birth the risks go up and may be recommended CS.

Right a tip for pain free weeing... fill a bath with salt water until legs are covered. Sit in bath, bend knees up and at same time slide down bath on ur bum. So u should be at one end of bath with knees bent up as close to your chin as possible. Start to wee and as you do, gently straighten your legs so your pushing your bum up the bath. So you're weeing and pushing yourself away from the wee into fresh water. No more stinging.

As for other posters. This is a really painful virus first time but it does weaken and burn out. Its never as bad again if you ever get an outbreak again. Its just the coldsore virus. We all need to do our bit to make this less taboo. And condoms don't prevent it being contracted thats why its not strictly classed as an STI.

Highly recommend the Herpes Viruses Association, which really is the UK expert organisation for this. They have some great information on their site including mythbusting stuff. I've attached their "All you need to know" sheet, but lots more on the site.

I've heard that lysine supplements really help.