Hello all
I just came across this forum and am posting as I need some help from somewhere. I don't know what to do about my partners drinking.
Bit of background. Not long after we got together I got pregnant and we now have a 6 month old. He moved in with me just before she was born as we were going to try and be a family. Anyway, basically, every night that he can (so not the nights he actually works nightshifts) he will drink. The minimum is about 2 or 3 cans and the maximum I have counted is a whole bottle of red wine and 7 cans/ bottles of beer. He is slightly affected by this amount in that his speech is ever so slurred but other than that he can take that amount really well. Last week he went out drinking all day (well, 9 hours or so) and the next evening he had a bottle of wine and 7 beers. I couldn't believe it. I honestly thought he might give it a break that night, but no, he couldn't. Last night after work he had 2 bottles and tonight as he doesn't have to be up tomorrow I am certain he will be up to 7 or 8 beers with an entire bottle of wine.
I get that people drink to wind down etc but it's literally every night that he can. There may have been 1 or 2 nights since he has been here that he hasn't drunk. I also think the amount he drinks is insane- he is easily on over 70 units a week if not more.
I am starting to resent him even more as he will often leave our baby crying next to him while he opens a beer and scrolls through his phone. I hate it. I do 95% if not all of her care. Which I love of course. I also get the impression he thinks I am weird that I don't drink (well, maybe one at Christmas and my birthday but that's it) as he asked me the other day why I don't go out drinking in the day. I am certain he thinks I am boring and no fun. But hey I am me and I am happy to be me! He also puts quite a bit of pressure on me to exercise. Post baby I am keen to get back in shape but I find it so hypocritical that he is on at me about not stretching and exercising enough when he pours poison into his body every night (and cigarettes when he goes out drinking too).
My father was an alcoholic and my mum took us away from him so I never had to experience it. But his sister (my auntie) also was and I have seen it first hand and it frightens me. My father was never in my life but got in touch when I was a young adult to say he was dying from liver cancer and three other cancers.
I am torn because I hate how much he drinks. I have told him I think he drinks too much but his reaction was basically nothing- in that he isn't going to change. I don't want my child to grow up around it yet I don't want her to have to split her time between two homes. I want to do the right thing for her and so any advice anyone can give would be most appreciated.
Many thanks