Feel so behind

[peanutbutterxo]

Hello,

Not sure if this is really in the right topic but couldn't decide where it was best suited!

I'm 29, in a dead end low paid job, long term relationship and no children.

I feel so behind in life and I cannot get rid of this constant feeling. I lost my job through covid (a much higher position although I wasn't particularly happy), have had a couple of health scares and issues, my relationship has absolutely no indication of marriage and I am longing for a baby but the time never seems right.

Please can somebody reassure me that these awful feelings are unreasonable. I feel like I am so old and that my life is going nowhere. I just feel that everybody my age is miles in front of me and I'm bobbing along at the back unhappy. I just don't know how to shake this constant feeling of failure. Sorry for the moany post but this is seriously affecting me.

You are SO young.

Maybe you need to rethink the relationship. Sounds like you feel powerless and flat with someone who will never give you what you need. If so, walk away.

Start thinking about retraining/gaining qualifications. You can change everything. Your future can be dazzling.

Firstly, 29 is young. I'm in my sixties, I can promise you you're hardly out of childhood.

One thing at a time.

Job - relatively straightforward. Work out what you want to do and start taking baby steps towards it. Need qualifications? Focus on the ones you need. One step at a time. If it takes a few years, so what? You'll be working until you're over 70, it's worth the investment.

Health - are you all checked out and doing what you need to do to be as healthy as possible physically? Also see your gp about 'low mood', it's a thing. Get on waiting lists for talking therapies.

Your relationship - long hard think, discuss with therapist when you get one. When you're sure of what you want, get your partner's attention and lay your cards on the table. Ask if he's ready for marriage, because you are, and if the wedding isn't happening in the next twelve months, you're off. Don't let him fob you off with engagement or a promise of proposal in the dim and distant future. Time to crack on.

Baby - no rush, but you know you want children so start organising yourself ready for having them. Maybe with a new partner. Maybe alone. Or maybe with comfortable guy who isn't, as yet, on the same page as you.

Be pro-active, a tiny step at a time. Good luck.

@QuestionNumberOne

Thank you, I just feel like I'm so old.

I would love to study again, it is something I really really miss but, again, I feel like I'm too old for it and to get where I want to be it would take approx 8-10 years. X

@DoesHePlayTheFiddle

Thank you so much for breaking that all down for me, that has helped me put things more into perspective.

I am going to look at studying again, I have wanted to study since I left school but I just fell into a job that ground me down.

Thank you again x