Who is a worrier? Does it help or hinder?

[Monkeytrousers]

DP is a worrier - mostly hinders I think.

I worry a bit but let myself get excited about things occasionally. DP thinks this is just setting yourself up for disappointment. What you think?

I worry about everything all the time.

I don't worry about anything really. Whats the point? It won't change anything! Of course at 3.30am when I can't sleep, everything is a worry.

Its is fecking annoying

My MIL is like this. It hinders massively. I also find it bloody manipulative, tbh, because bascially its just nagging. Most of the worrying relates to our utter incompetance (eg "I just needed to phone you to see if you'd left your keys in the door/forgotten how to read/etc)" Aaaargh. Fine she worries but its her problem really, theres no need to share it with us.

There are worse things than having behaved foolishly in public.
There are worse things than these miniature betrayals,
committed or endured or suspected; there are worse things
than not being able to sleep for thinking about them.
It is 5 a.m. All the worse things come stalking in
and stand icily about the bed looking worse and worse
and worse.

Worrying is no good for man nor beast.

As my mum says (and my grandma used to say) regarding worrying.. "you die if you do.. you die if you don't". So best not to really, as far as poss!

yes on wise men (sic) snigger

tut oh wise men

...(sic)

i worry about EVERYTHING,all the time, sometimes to the point where it takes over my life, it aint pleasant and i wish i could be one of those people that let things go over my head

I'm a huge worrier. I think its definatly a bad thing and something I would love to change about myself. It often keeps me up at night and it causes alot of stress

I worry about very silly little things but am quite relaxed about the big stuff - being pregnant, moving house, moving country etc.

My mother is a worrier and I agree with C&L'smummy - it is incredibly manipulative in that she tries to tranfer her issues onto me, tries to make her daft worries, my worries. I'm not having any of it any more

Message withdrawn

I have constant little niggles in my head, but would like to think on he whole i can find positives (eventually) in every negative. I am always worrying about my family, work, personal life etc. This mkrning i've found myself worrying whether to finish the ironing or have a bath first ffs .
I think if we'll all honest, most of us worry about stuff during their day. The only difference is that some people let their mind dedicate more time to it than others! Afterall, we are ALL different and 'programmed' differently. The joy of being individuals

morning

franke, your mothers worries will be very real to her, wether u find them "silly" or not, maybe she feels that she can trust u, this is why she offloads on you, i think if u dont listen to her anymore, its really going to affect her.

No it's not going to affect her. Well, I suppose it might irritate her that she hasn't managed to wield control in the way she wants to. We're not that close tbh.

i have anxiety really severley, and my dh is my rock when im going through a really anxious phase, i dont know what i would do without him listening to me and being my shoulder, i certainly dont think im being manipulative by telling him my worries, even when theya re irrational lol, all im trying to say is that worrying is a horrible terrible feeling, and as the saying goes, a worry shared is a worrfy halfed, it just bothers me a bit that some people think worriers are manipulative

I will await Mellowma's cure I think. I never worried about a THING until I had a dc

yeah me to SSS, its health that i worry about, money and things dont bother me, since i ahd my kids i developed a tremendous health anxiety, i thinks its an obsessive worry that if something happened to me, what would happen to my kids, or vice versa

I don't worry about things generally but I do get the 'Setting yourself up for disappointment' thing. I tend to expect the worst so prepare myself for that and then I find I can stop worrying about it. IYSWIM. Sort of 'yes X might happen and probably will but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it'.

It doesn't really make sense - but it works for me lol!

I am not a worrier in general. But I do worry about timings of things, getting things done. And I worry about my children and their upbringing. Question myself about the second a lot....

Guess which side I fall on?

I once went on a business seminar where they explained big circle, little circle. The big circle contains things you can't change, like the state of the economy or something that's going to happen regardless of anything you do. You can't change them, therefore worrying about them has no use and you should not do it.

The little circle is the things you can change, like I'm going to look an idiot when I make that presentation, so I'll make sure I practise so that I don't. Therefore worrying is useful.

This served me well until I had children. I can't do anything about their health, friends, whether they're happy at school, but there's no way I can stop worrying about it.

Aw Loopy - I wasn't suggesting all worriers are manipulative. The subject just touched nerve regarding my dm and our rather complex relationship. I'm glad you've got such an understanding partner. I also don't know where I'd be without my lovely dh trying hard to keep a straight face when I tell him about my 'silly' anxieties. Sometimes just vocalising a worry makes it disappear for me.

Franke - yes I think that's important. Acknowledging the thing that you're worried about - verbally if necessary, can help you to box it away.

thats ok franke xx