Anyone sleep in same bed but separate mattresses?

[TheLeadbetterLife]

My husband and I sleep in separate rooms, because I am a long-time insomniac and light sleeper, and he is a real fidget and occasional snorer (though this has got better since he lost weight).

Most of the time this is fine, as we have a nice spare room, but when we have guests (which is often) I feel terrible because he uses our pretty rubbish sofa bed. He does this uncomplainingly, because he is ace.

We have a very good, pocket sprung mattress on the bed I sleep in, which barely moves, but still any shift from him in the night and I will wake instantly.

I'm working on my sleep problems with CBT, with some success, but the ease with which I wake is still a problem.

I'm wondering about getting separate mattresses and linen for the bed - has anyone tried this in similar circumstances? I would really like him to sleep in here with me.

The bed is super kingsize, so we could have two single mattresses on the same base. I don't know whether I would still feel him fidget though.

I'm like the bloody princess and the pea.

As the proud owner of the world's most fidgety sleeper, zip-lock is a life-saver: DH would have been under the patio long ago without it 😉

I’m awake again in the middle of the night as OH gets you every bloody night and goes downstairs for about an hour. I wake up, get more and more stressed and by the time he’s back asleep again I am bolt awake all night. He fidgets constantly too. It is destroying my well being . We’ve tried different beds but I feel really lonely. Bedroom is quite small but we could fit a super king size in. It would mean all new bedding though and a new mattress etc etc. Absolutely desperate to find a solution. When we sleep in a super king on holiday it is blissful. I am worried about getting a mattress online and it won’t be right. I need one that doesn’t retain heat and doesn’t transfer movement. At the moment we have a wool and natural fibre mix mattress and I wake up boiling.
Recommendations welcome!

Totally normal in Scandinavia to have separate mattresses, duvets etc and my parents have always done this.

@SwimmingUnderwater any of the John Lewis natural collection are a good shout, I spent a LONG time trying them all out in the shop. We initially bought it as we needed a new mattress because of my bad back, the man in the shop basically gave the advice to start at the cheapest one and keep trying them til you couldn’t feel any difference as they got more expensive. That’s how we landed on the one we bought. I have to say I don’t think it’ll be the stress making you sweat (I’m as sure as I can be that I’m in early peri myself so I totally understand how horrible sweets can be). We have a Devon duvets wool mattress topper and duvet which has done wonders for my temperature regulation. I love a big fluffy down duvet but switching to wool has made a huge difference.

We have separate mattresses but we like to fall asleep holding each other and I ended up in the gap. Every time. You can buy a 'love bridge' you put in the middle. This works for us. My DP is over twice my weight and we have to change his mattress every couple of years so it's cheaper this way too.

Superking bed with zip-and-link mattresses and two single quilts saved me from killing my husband. If he does a particularly dramatic turnover then I feel it, but general fidgeting I don't feel at all.

Have a look at Hotel Contract Beds. They sell to residential customers as well as hotels. The quality is superb, and the prices very reasonable.

It's not even so much as a mattress as a sturdiness of the bed? We had separate ate mattresses and duvets but any movement would definitely be felt through the bed itself.

I would go for one mattress with open visiting rights and just put up with disturbance on occasions when u have to share the bed.

Have you tried to mattress-in-a-box type mattresses? They are more foam - not pocket sprung. The one we have has made a HUGE difference for us - we have the largest size so have plenty of room - I can hardly feel my husband move. So much better that a traditional mattress - and really comfy :)

@mrsrobin

Have you tried to mattress-in-a-box type mattresses? They are more foam - not pocket sprung. The one we have has made a HUGE difference for us - we have the largest size so have plenty of room - I can hardly feel my husband move. So much better that a traditional mattress - and really comfy :)

Which one have you got and are they not quite hot to sleep on?

I think foam might be the way forward. We went to Ikea last week just to try the mattresses and the foam ones definitely have less movement.

I don't really want memory foam though, as it's too hot, and I'd rather have a nice natural latex and cotton topper (we have a latex-topped mattress now and it stays nice and cool).

Is an ordinary foam mattress fine? I mean, I kind of feel like a lot of mattress culture (for want of a better word) is a load of woo designed to make you spend a ton of money. The expensive foam mattresses all seem to be memory foam, which I don't want or need. Will a cheaper, plain foam one just collapse after a couple of years, or will it actually be fine with a nice, fancy topper?

I have the Leesa - I have never been hot - I think it has some special cooling foam - it also has a lovely washable cover. Alas though - their website now says it is unavailable in the UK. There are plenty of others - I did loads of research and picked the Leesa as it is a bit softer than some of the others. It is not memory foam - I do think I would get too hot on that.

Oh - I did have a lovely latex mattress before - this definitely was not hot - but after a couple of years of perseverance I decided it was just too hard. I much prefer the one I have now.

Can't comment how long it will last as my reflex foam is recent, but don't buy a mattress with zones. I had to send back a latex zonal mattress as it gave me a backache and I am now happier with a reflex foam one which was about a third of the cost of the latex one.

I used to have a plain latex mattress for many years but nowadays all latex mattresses I came across are with zones.

@YogaLite

Can't comment how long it will last as my reflex foam is recent, but don't buy a mattress with zones. I had to send back a latex zonal mattress as it gave me a backache and I am now happier with a reflex foam one which was about a third of the cost of the latex one.

I used to have a plain latex mattress for many years but nowadays all latex mattresses I came across are with zones.

I bought a latex foam topped mattress for the spare room in 2007. It’s amazingly comfortable and I wish I had bought one for the main bedroom. I didn’t think it was possible to get them now.

we have the mid range ikea foam matresses.

in the german which equivalent the ikea matresses always come up quite high in the ratings.

I personally dislike sprung matresses, I have the feeling they make my allergies worse (dust mite, not sure that's true to be honest)

Yeah I've been looking at the Ikea latex mattress with the cotton and linen cover. It looks nice and is a good price for a latex. I like the idea of the natural materials anyway.