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Original poster

open heart surgey

16 replies

JJ · 11/10/2002 22:32

Any of you US based mumsetters know the average stay in a hospital after open heart surgery? My FIL just had (as in just had-- he's in recovery, he was supposed to have a double bypass, but it was either a triple or quadruple) it done this morning (Chicago time). We're in Switzerland, he's in the US and my husband needs to go back before he's out of the hospital. It was an unexpected operation.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
floops · 12/10/2002 08:16

JJ - not US based but just wanted to say hope your father in law makes a good recovery.

SueDonim · 12/10/2002 11:37

JJ, I'm not in the US either but a friend had the same op in the UK nearly two years ago. He was in hospital for ten days and total recovery took about 6mths - by which I mean he was back doing the things he'd done before he became ill. Best wishes to your FIL - it's a fantastic operation and makes such a difference to the quality of life.

jodee · 12/10/2002 16:15

JJ, I hope your fil is back to full strength soon. I also know a friend whose father had a triple by-pass last month and was also in hospital for 10 days, he is now at home making good progress.

Original poster
JJ · 12/10/2002 18:35

Thank you. That has helped an immeasurable amount. We weren't sure at all. The hospital has said a week (because insurance companies can be stingy) but MIL has said that he's there as long as necessary (she has experience dealing with stingy insurance companies). So we're going with the 10 days to buy his plane tickets.

I'm assuming that the most helpful time for him to be there is right when his father gets home (arriving a day or two in advance and then helping with the getting home bit). He'll stay for about a week, although longer if necessary. Do you think that's right? I've got some experience dealing with my mom and illness, but his family is not mine and I was more available (in school, in fact, so quite available). His brothers and sister are nice, but not exactly useful. In fact... but let me drink another glass of wine and start a thread demanding sympathy.

Thanks again. My husband values this input as much as I do.
JJ

ps, FIL is ok, still in ICU and some complications, but there are always complications and he's going to be fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
JJ · 12/10/2002 19:25

Thank you. That has helped an immeasurable amount. We weren't sure at all. The hospital has said a week (because insurance companies can be stingy) but MIL has said that he's there as long as necessary (she has experience dealing with stingy insurance companies). So we're going with the 10 days to buy his plane tickets.

I'm assuming that the most helpful time for him to be there is right when his father gets home (arriving a day or two in advance and then helping with the getting home bit). He'll stay for about a week, although longer if necessary. Do you think that's right? I've got some experience dealing with my mom and illness, but his family is not mine and I was more available (in school, in fact, so quite available). His brothers and sister are nice, but not exactly useful. In fact... but let me drink another glass of wine and start a thread demanding sympathy.

Thanks again. My husband values this input as much as I do.
JJ

ps, FIL is ok, still in ICU and some complications, but there are always complications and he's going to be fine.

OP posts:
SueDonim · 13/10/2002 14:38

Your plan sounds very good, JJ. When our friend came home he was well enough to be let out of hospital but he still had lots of stitches and was sore where they'd taken veins from his legs, as well as being weak and tiring easily. He definitely needed lots of TLC, so I think if your DH is happy to do some of the donkey work in nursing your FIL, it will be a massive relief to his mum, apart from anything else. Our friend's wife needed lots of support, because of the stress and strain of the whole thing.

I hope your FIL continues to make progress and do keep us informed on how he gets on.

SueDonim · 13/10/2002 14:41

Oh, yes, I forgot to add that sometimes depression can be an after effect of the op. I'm not sure how it is dealt with but it is something your DH could watch out for and report to the Dr. I think it can occur once the main event is over, almost like an anti-climax type thing.

Original poster
JJ · 13/10/2002 19:38

SueDonim, Thanks again. He's still in the ICU, after having a fast heart rate overnight (it's called something which my husband forgets and happens in approx 40% of patients). Realize that this info is 4th hand, so it might be wrong. At any rate, what is correct is that this problem he is having is the same one that killed his father a few years ago after an operation. But FIL is in a hospital, they are monitoring it closely and will treat it aggressively. FIL's father was at home. But it's very stressful, as you might imagine.

It's just my husband flying back, so he'll be able to do whatever is needed and give his mom a break. I'll tell him to keep an eye out for the depression-- that's good to know.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
Viv · 14/10/2002 10:33

Hi, sorry just picked up this thread, my father had a double bypass a couple of years ago and now you would never know he had been ill, he is even fitter and more active than he has been for years.
To answer you qusetion specifically, he was in hospital for about 8 days and Mum definatley neede the help at home, more to give her a break and my Dad became very demanding and weak willed, ie: oh I can't possibly do that and he needed quite a lot of encouragement to do his exercises etc. Probably this was the mild 'depression' that has been talked about. But this was very shortlived and everything now is wonderful, so thinking of you and your family and hope everything works out well.

Original poster
JJ · 18/10/2002 19:46

Thank you. And FIL is home! After a few problems (and aren't there always problems?), he's home. My husband is leaving tomorrow morning and will get there tomorrow afternoon absolutely shattered (doesn't travel well and it's a 9+ hour flight), but, from previous experience, will be in good spirits and ready to go. He's quite the guy.

FIL has said that my husband will be "the gatekeeper", ie keeping visitors out while he rests. He's not the best at that, but I'm sure now that he knows that's what he's supposed to do, he'll do it well. He's great at the day to day things; shopping, cleaning, all that. It's the denying people something they want thing he's bad at.... but since he knows he's expected to turn these so-called wellwishers away, it should be fine.

Thank you so much for the forewarning on the depression. His sister (dh's sister) is watching for it, too.

And thanks again. I've used this to back up all my reasons he should go to help. And, truthfully, I think all the opinions here mattered to him more than he would care to admit (esp the warnings about depression, which is a great thing to know).

JJ

OP posts:
SueDonim · 19/10/2002 06:32

Fantastic news, JJ! I'm so glad your FIL is home and I'm sure his recovery will proceed quickly now he is in familiar surroundings and with all the TLC he'll be getting. The Gatekeeper idea is brilliant. Maybe once FIL is settled in at home and has a routine to his day your MIL could set aside a 'visiting hour' when friends could call. It needn't be every day. Or ask people to phone before coming. Best wishes for your FIL's good progress and I hope your DH can enjoy being with his parents even in these circs.

SueDonim · 19/10/2002 06:33

Fantastic news, JJ! I'm so glad your FIL is home and I'm sure his recovery will proceed quickly now he is in familiar surroundings and with all the TLC he'll be getting. The Gatekeeper idea is brilliant. Maybe once FIL is settled in at home and has a routine to his day your MIL could set aside a 'visiting hour' when friends could call. It needn't be every day. Or ask people to phone before coming. Best wishes for your FIL's good progress and I hope your DH can enjoy being with his parents even in these circs.

ScummyMummy · 19/10/2002 20:32

Oh- didn't see this before. So glad your fil is ok, JJ. My fil also went through this back in April and is now in great form. He did get v depressed afterward tho, so I'm glad you're all prepared for that possibility as I believe it's quite common to feel low for some time afterwards. All my good wishes to him and the family.

Original poster
JJ · 03/05/2003 23:34

As one does, going through my posts... thanks so much for all the advice, esp re the depression. It helped us to know that it was normal. He's great now -- much better than before, although he doesn't want to travel too much (so as to avoid all that evil foreign health care ) We're working on convincing him that Switzerland has decent facilities.

Sigh.

Anyway, thanks so much. My husband keeps up with mumsnet, but doesn't post much. (I've had to keep him from posting sometimes..) This thread really helped us.

OP posts:
robinw · 04/05/2003 07:20

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robinw · 04/05/2003 08:30

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