foreskin/circumcision question for 3 year old

[kitbit]

ds is 3 and has just had his annual checkup with the paediatrician. She said i need to buy some particular cream at the pharmacy and massage it into ds's foreskin for a week twice a day, then for the next 5 weeks continue but each time try and ease his foreskin back a little - all this because she says it's a bit tight.

We live in Spain, and several people have told me that they recommend here that you do this from birth, but several of our English friends including 2 doctors in Britain said it is absolutely not recommended in the UK, so we didn't. (They also told me categorically that babies should without exception always be in their own rooms, and that controlled crying is without a doubt for everyone...so you can see why I am slightly mistrustful and would like further opinions!)

Do you have to do this for all little boys? Or is this just ds? I asked her several times but she rattled off some rapid spanish and before I knew it the appointment was over and I was none the wiser. She did though give me dark warnings about having to circumcise him if I don't do it.

...so do all mummies of little boys have to do this???? I really don't want him to have to go through a circumcision if I can easily prevent it, but if it is normal for their foreskins to be tight at this age and they usually stretch of their own accord then I don't want to do this unnecessarily, either. help?

sorry, I meant that the paediatricians also told me about babies being in own rooms etc..., not our friends in britain!

I'm in the UK, and we were recently advised to apply a cream onto the end of DS's foreskin, it contains mild hydrocortisone, which apparently helps to thin the foreskin, and therefore make it less tight??? DS suffered from consecutive infections, but since he became potty trained we've had no problems. Thankfully the paediatrician didn't think circumcision would be neccessary, and she told us not to worry about it too much, DS looked quite normal in her opinion. Also, she didn't particularly advise us to try and ease the foreskin back too often, all the advice I've had here is to leave it alone, and not to try and retract it until he's much older, around 5 years, he's 2.9 now.
However Mummy friends from other parts of Europe do seem to do this routinely with their little boys.

this is from the babycentre website:

How should I care for my baby son's penis?

For babies, it's best to avoid bubble baths, as they can be drying and irritating to penile tissue. And when bathing your son, it isn't necessary to retract his foreskin. Actually, you won't be able to for several months or even years - it takes that long for the foreskin to separate from the penis. Even when the foreskin has separated and can be retracted safely, the best advice is simply to leave it alone. You may do more harm than good by interfering with its self-cleaning mechanism.

If your baby has been circumcised, you need do little more than keep the penis clean with soap and water as a part of normal bathing. For the first few days after a circumcision, the penis may look quite red, and you may notice a yellowish secretion. This is not a cause for alarm - both indicate that the penis is healing normally. Though circumcision sites rarely get infected, signs of an infection include persisting redness, a swollen penis tip, and crusted yellow sores which contain fluid. If you notice any of these signs, call your doctor immediately.

have a read of this page and take the advice - especially the bit where some men have torn foreskins from trying to retract too early.

my ds at 3 couldn't retract his - now at 6.5 it is slowly seperating. I haven't touched it. normal fiddling by them should loosen everything naturally.

Thanks VERY much for your advice, I think I will be leaving it alone. DH did have problems with his foreskin when he was 4 or 5 and was circumcised as a result, but I think as long as I keep a careful eye on it and preempt any problems we should be OK. I think I will also change paediatrician, apart from the advice, she also seemed clueless about ds's eating habits ("just don't feed him, he'll eat eventually" - no other options suggested)and was a bit brusque generally.

Thanks again for the reassurance and info

but what do you expect a paediatrician to do about eating habits? If anything, that's a behavioural issue, so for HV type person, not a medical problem, as difficult as a parent it is, I know I've had this with 2 of my 3.

re the foreskin, is it only the tightness that's the problem, or has he also had infections? And how tight is tight? My ds3 had an extremely tight foreskin, and had several, albeit minor infections (just red really, and treatable at home) We did follow our docs advice and he was circumcised. We'd discussed with the surgeon how much foreskin to remove & we'd agreed on minimum, but when he came to operate, he had extensive scar tissue under the foreskin and the whole thing had to be removed.

So to summarise I wouldn't reject the advice out of hand - yes, in general a healthy foreskin should be left alone, but the doc has seen your son's willy and perhaps knows what she's talking about. I wouldn't reject her advice completely just because she seemed to you to be a bit abrupt.

Ernest, here the paediatrician covers all such things, there are no separate HV's and for all issues that you would see a GP in britain, here you see a paed. So at his annual revision we covered all aspects of physical and developmental progress, plus behavioural, and a few general things as well.
And yes, I take your point that just because she was a bit abrupt I shouldn't reject her advice, but because of her manner I'll be looking for a different paed for next time, and in the meantime getting a 2nd opinion on the willy issue

Re. the tightness, no it isn't very tight in fact she quickly showed me how she wanted me to ease it back and in so doing was able to get it about 2 3rds of the way over the top. He's had no problems at all, not even redness and no infections so far whatsoever. That's really why I'm erring towards leaving well alone but I will be seeking another opinion at the same time as changing paeds.

oh well, you're right, if it could be pulled back that far.. My poor ds's didn't move a mm, and the hole left for the wee to come out was microscopic so it all came out under such high pressure. Inevitably spraying everywhere, yuk. Dr did mention the cream, but said ds was too bad for it to have an effect.

Here there are paediatricians as weill, aslo not in UK, but there is also an HV-like service for behavioural problems.

sigh would love to have an HV for simple things sometimes instead of the "I am God" medical doctors I seem to come across!
Your poor ds, glad it's all OK for him now though.

Is your DS still in nappies? Reason I ask is that once DS was out of nappies at 3, his penis became v interesting and he kind of retracted the foreskin himself. I had been slightly concerned about it before this.

He excitedly yelled out to me from the bath one night 'mummy, come quick. I've done a trick with my penis. Look I can pull the skin back and it's PURPLE inside and look at that big hole'.

aaaggghhhh!!! Deux He's out of nappies now but bizarrely doesn't seem to be a fiddler! Everyone else who has a little boy that we know has said "ooh just you wait until he finds it" but fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it (!) he's never really been interested. Strange boy!