I had the same worries as you. I'm taking it and it helps improve my quality of life, which is what I needed.
I get withdrawal/cessation symptoms if I stop taking it suddenly (I tested it to see), but that's also the case for other non-painkiller medications I have to take. I resumed taking it because going back to the pain levels I had without it was unbearable and it made no sense to me to be trying to taper off the only thing we had found that helped!
I don't feel great about that, but I don't feel great about having withdrawal/cessation effects from my other medications either!
I figure that I'm living with a permanently disabling condition that won't get better and pain levels that meant I couldn't have any kind of life - so what would I be achieving by refusing something that can help just because I don't want to be dependent on something I'll most likely be taking long term anyway?
If I do ever need or want to stop taking it, I know I'll have to taper off and I know it might not be the most fun ever but this has given me a little bit of quality of life back. I'm not going to get a second turn at living so I need to find a way to get something from the life I have left. There's no point to me in refusing a drug that can help because I'm afraid of one day going through the cessation/tapering process if that means I spend my days curled up in a ball sobbing in pain, which was how things were.
I had to taper off codeine when we stopped that, which I didn't enjoy but it was achievable and achieved. Also, I've had to taper off an anti-psychotic (for severe anxiety) in the past which was horrendous with the cessation/withdrawal effects (much worse than codeine and similar to when I stopped the tramadol as a test). I feel that if I can survive that (and all the other shit I've lived through) I can manage tapering off this drug if or when it comes to it.
My view having talked it through with my medical team is that cessation symptoms aren't the same as 'addiction' in the loaded, scary sense. Our bodies adjust to any medication we take so there are lots of drugs you can't stop taking suddenly or you get cessation symptoms as your body can't instantly re-adjust to not having it anymore. I think that's the case with corticosteroids too in quite a serious way.
Being physically dependent is not the same as being psychologically dependent. Physically dependent just means you have to slowly taper off. Psychologically dependent can be where it's trickier, but even then it can be overcome.
If you're taking them for pain, as prescribed, rather than because you enjoy how they make you feel then psychological dependence is unlikely. I did some reading of studies into pain management of long term/chronic pain and they do seem to support that position.
Addiction / drug addict are such loaded words. I'm not sure if people realise how many commonly prescribed drugs/medications have to be tapered off to avoid cessation/withdrawal symptoms?
For me, tapering has just meant gradually stretching out the time between doses and reducing the doses gradually as you go until you can go longer and longer without withdrawal symptoms. At first that might mean stretching to 12 hours instead of 6 then stretching it out by another hour until eventually it's a day apart and then two days and then a week. It seems to go like one of those hockey stick graphs in terms of spacing out - starts very small and incremental then you start to be able to increase it by bigger chunks of time with each dose until you don't need it anymore.
I remember at one point feeling like it was going to take years to be off that drug at the rate it was going because even though I could go a week before cessation symptoms kicked in it was still kicking in. I nearly gave up. But then suddenly I got past a week and then another without cessation resuming. So it just takes patience.
I have always been the one in charge of the tapering rather than having it imposed, which I think helped a lot. It meant I was in control and could listen to my own body rather than having to try and endure more severe cessation symptoms due to somebody else's imposed quicker timetable - which would bring more severe cessation symptoms on top of panic about having no control and no ability to reduce the taper speed, because if you do you'll run out completely because you've only been prescribed a reduced amount according to the imposed dosing timetable. (If that makes sense? E.g. if you would need 24 tablets per month in order to go at the pace you can cope with, but they only give you 12 per month because of the timetable they've imposed).
For me, having complete control of the tapering and being able to take it at my own body's pace was key to it being achievable. Psychologically it's really important for humans to have a sense of control, especially when going through something difficult. Not being in control of your own tapering can make you panic and start to psychologically crave the drug to make it stop, which then creates a bigger problem than you started with!
I can imagine it would have been a different outcome if I had been told I had to go straight from 6 hour intervals to 24 hour intervals and following an imposed tapering timetable when my body couldn't cope with that and needed to go slower - I suspect I would have been less likely to succeed in those circumstances because the cessation symptoms would have been intolerable and I would have become very distressed.
The main cessation symptoms for tramadol are feeling flu-ey, night sweats, anxiety, and diarrhoea if it caused constipation. If you taper correctly you only really feel the edge of those symptoms at the end of each stretched out dosing gap. Your body slowly has time to adjust and they fade away. If you stop without tapering it is more dramatic/intense, which is why you're not supposed to!
I know this is long and I've probably rambled a bit, I just wondered if it might be useful if I added more context to my position and my experience of withdrawal/cessation symptoms and tapering off other drugs. It was stuff I found reassuring when I was making my decision - sometimes knowing what the exit strategy might look like can make starting down a path feel less scary.
I hope things get a bit easier for you.