My mum has ovarian cancer ....

[Jacky46]

My mum, always healthy - never smoked, eats nothing but fruits and veg etc - was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in September last year.

She has gone through so many operations and chemo and thought she would win. But the cancer came back less than 3 months after the last chemo. It's now in her liver.

I am too far away (she lives in a different country) with two young kids. All I can do is cry and feel utterly useless. Since the last diagnosis, she won't talk to me and I am going out of my mind.

Any advice would be welcome.....

Sorry i have no advice for you but thinking of you,your mum and family.Maybe she wont talk because she is coming to terms with it herself.Dont give up on her.Just be there on the other end of a phone when she needs you.Oh, have you thought of writing her a letter telling her how you feel about whats happened to her maybe that will work.Good luck Jacky46.

Sorry to hear that. What sort of support does she have? Has she got a Macmillan nurse (if she's in Britain)?
SHe is bound to be in shock, just as you are. xxP

Not sure if such support is available where she is - but will check. Good idea.

I know i need to give her time. Just not sure what to say when she finally gets in touch
Thanks for your thoughts!

What can you say, except that you love her and wish you could help?
Take care of yourself.

Just feel terribly guilty that I have let her down by leaving the country so many years ago. Feel like I should be there to help/support her. But can't leave DCs behind.
Guess I have to stop looking for some kind of magical answer to this and do the best I can.

How awful for her and for you. Being far away I'm sure you feel completely helpless. I wish I I could offer some advice but I don't have any. Loving your mom and being there for her when she does want to talk is all you can do. I'm thinking about you and your mom.

It is crap.

I'm dealing with a similar thing with my dh atm. He has terminal pancreatic cancer and we have two child 10 and 7.

There really isn't anything that you can do, and that is the thing that hurts most of all. Just talk to her, and if she isn't realy to raise the issue with you, respect her wishes

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.
MB - my heart goes to you and your family. Take care.

I'm so sorry to hear this, it must be so hard being far away from her.

wishing your family all the best x

oh shit jacky I am sorry unfortunately I'm in the same boat - mum with OC, living abroad.

Is there any chance of you going to see her? My mum is now in the very final stage of the disease and quite frankly it's awful, but at least I feel that we really have covered everything that we have wanted to talk about and there are no loose ends.

I have been over there as much as possible considering my circumstances (3 small children, nobody to help), so I've done my best and feel at peace with that.

sorry to hear about your mum. your mum like you is probably trying to come to terms with it and as hard as it is for you the only thing you can do is continue to be there on the phone or by letter, she may well reach a point where she is able to talk about it.
we are dealing with the same stuff here.