Is this anxiety

[TheOriginalNutty]

For background my dad died suddenly on 10th June. I was there when he collapsed, as paramedics attempted resuscitation and when he died.

I went back to work this week and although work itself has been fine and I have wonderful work mates I am finding that I'm feeling increasingly 'odd'.

The only way I can describe it is like a nervous, restless feeling but a bad one not like nervous excited. I wouldn't quite class it as feeling panicked, more slightly distressed.

I do suffer with depression and take 20mg of Citalopram but have never really had anxiety that I can remember and so I'm wondering if it's that.

Sorry if this is rambling but my heads a bit scrambled.

Sorry also forgot to mention that there was no funeral service as he didn't want one and this is playing in my mind a lot.

Sorry also forgot to mention that there was no funeral service as he didn't want one and this is playing in my mind a lot

I can't really help with your anxiety feelings, I suggest speaking to your gp again as one med isn't the correct fix and a review may be needed.

I do understand people not wanting a fuss, not wanting to waste money on their send off. No one can really judge that. I don't think it's right because the living don't get their chance to say their goodbye.

Just know, your dad was looked after and given the best in his last journey, I'm sorry you weren't granted the same whilst left living.

Was your dad buried or cremated? Lots can be done to fill the gap, so to speak

Thank you Pepper. I will speak to my GP if I can manage to get though.

He was cremated at 8:30 am on the 21st June. I know he was taken there in a hearse and that the staff from the funeral place stayed there throughout the cremation but I feel awful that I wasn't there.

As it was I lit a candle at that time and bawled my eyes out.

It's not like I didn't get to say goodbye because I gave him a kiss goodbye and told him I loved him before the undertakers took him away and I'm also not religious so it's not that that's bothering me.

Not really sure what is bothering me tbh.

Think I just feel lost and confused.

It was important to me that we honoured his wishes too though.

argh I dunno. It's just crap

That sounds like anxiety what you describe.

Thank you who. I will definitely try and get hold of my gp then and see what they can do if anything.