Dear friend terminally ill - what can thoughtful mumsnetters think of to cheer/console/treat her?

[Quattrocento]

She is very poorly indeed atm. She's suffering from cancer. The primary site was breast cancer, which has spread to bones and liver. She's had radiotherapy and completed her second round of chemotherapy. She feels sick and rotten most of the time.

We love her very very much and would like to do anything at all to cheer/treat/console her and her partner.

Can any mumsnetters think of anything to cheer her up? We've done fruit and chocolate cake and flowers. We've offered to clean and garden.

We'd like to do something more, anything more really. Can you think of anything?

Aw quattro, sorry to hear this. And sorry to redirect you, but there has been a recent thread with some ideas: here

i wouldn't try to cheer her up per se.

she may not want this right now.

she may be coming to terms with this and feeling very poorly.

i think offering a sympathetic ear for as much as she wants would be good!

Sorry to hear about your friend

What about a manicure or pedicure? Or maybe buy her some music that she can listen to in bed on an MP3 player or iPod.

Good ideas all, thank you.

Thank you for the link, policy. We wondered about pampering things, there's a really good idea about lovely pjs in there, which sounds practical as well.

This is a bit stupid - maybe this is just me - but I wondered about whether there were any books that people had found helpful about coming to terms with this sort of situation?

Lots of ideas here: www.fmwf.com/newsarticle.php?id=176&cat=6

Quattro, not for your friend but for you, this book was helpful to me to get into the way of thinking what might actually help the person rather than make me feel better iykwim.

What about a nice throw for her sofa so she can curl up when she is feeling tired. Or a subscription to a DVD rental club or magazine?

Or scented candle and a feelgood DVD?

Or one of those microwaveable warmers for cold hands and feet?

Time is probably your greatest gift - could you offer to read to her, or help her catalog her photo collection?

Thank you, thank you.

I take the point Bookthief - really that's what the thread was about - finding things for her.

There's lots of good stuff in there - loved the idea of the cashmere socks - and the food rota.

My Dad had reflexology when he was dying from cancer and he found it very soothing.
He did appreciate nice PJs, as you mention, and good food too, up until he was too ill to eat.
How about some lovely classical music CDs or stories on CD if she isn't up to reading?
A beautiful orchid will last longer than cut flowers and they are often really lovely to look at. Some special bedlinen/blankets/shawls etc would be a nice gift too if she is in bed a lot.
Cant remember any useful books in particular, will have a think.