Phobic: don't know how to make drs appointment

[medphobic]

Name changed for this.
I've got a pretty horrific medical phobia - terrified of needles, terrified of doctors, terrified of dentists.
I really need to go and do something about it. Especially as I'm living in another country where the COVID vaccine is being pretty much forced upon us - we don't have to have it, but if you don't have it you can't participate in normal life (a test is an alternative which is what I am doing at the moment but only because it's a self-test. Previously when the tests were administered by someone else right into the back of the nasal cavity I was unable to go for tests because of my phobia).

I really do need to go to the GP and talk about it but I've been in this country (not the UK) for years and not been to the doctor. (I actually haven't been ill either so haven't needed to go). The last time I was at the doctor was in 2007.

This is going to sound ridiculous but I am breaking out in a sweat just thinking about trying to get an appointment. I don't even know how to get one - normally it's a turn up and wait practice but I don't know if the doctor has changed it now. I am frightened of getting yelled at by a receptionist. It all just seems like an impossible hurdle.
Can I email? I don't know what to say. I don't know whether to mention the phobia in the email because I get incredibly stressed in the waiting room to the point of passing out.

I also need to go to the dentist and I have a really bad phobia there too (not been for years and years). I plucked up courage to write emails to local private dentists who were claiming to deal with "nervous patients". Not one of them wrote back which really upset me. It cost me so much effort and nerves to even get to the point of contacting them and then nothing.

I'm just beside myself and don't know how I could possibly go to the GP. Can't cope with receptionists. Can't cope with other patients staring at me in the waiting room (as I tend to break out in a sweat and shake so I do get looked at). Can't cope with the doctor thinking I'm stupid.

And even if I do manage to get in to see the doctor I am frightened he will be horrible to me or that he will force me to have things like blood tests which I am really not able to handle.

Does anyone have any tips or suggestions? I really need some help here.

Have you got anyone who can go with you?
Or just to start with can someone else make the appointment?
If the Dr thinks you're stupid , that's their fault.
Do you have an issue you need to see them about now ?
What about talking to a pharmacist? Do they do that where you are?
Have you ever had any counselling for this ?
I hope you manage to see someone soon.

I have no one. I'm single. All my family are in the UK. Parents both dead. No one to talk to about this.
And all my friends seem to have disappeared during the pandemic because people seem to have retreated into their own family units as the haven't been able to socialize.

So, unfortunately, no, there's no one that can phone.

I don't have a specific health issue. I need to get the COVID vaccine if I want any kind of life outside of these four walls but the phobia is preventing it. That's why I need to go to the GP. The necessity of the vaccine and my attempts to avoid it (and the invasive nasal tests) have made me wake up to the fact that I absolutely have to get help for the phobia.

The dentist is a different issue - definitely treatment needed and a lot of it. I have mild pain almost every day.

I've never had counselling. I've never even told anyone.

Is there anything that help calm you waiting for and during the appointment? Music, for example. I was terrified of going to the dentists, to the extent I didn't go at all for about 15 years. As a child, I was sedated and they don't offer that now.
I was in pain and finally made an appointment two years ago. I had one earphone in at all times and a lovely, very understanding dentist. I managed to sit through 8 fillings over various appointments.

Do any of the GPs have websites where you can find out more about how to register and make an appointment?

I haven't tried listening to music. I don't know if it would help as it can sometimes stress me out - eg. if there are other noises going on around that interfere with the music I tend to get a bit overwhelmed.
But as things stand at the moment it could be worth a shot. Thanks.

Could you contact the friends who have vanished, just to ask how they registered with a doctor?

Have you checked if there's any walk in vax clinic type places?

As per pp, a chat with pharmacist might help?

Hi OP, This seems to have become hugely overwhelming in your mind and just a bit too much to cope with (which I can identify with). I'd recommend starting with a less difficult task and setting yourself practise challenges to work your way up. You'll be surprised how much you can achieve in a fairly short space of time and the bigger things will become slightly less scary as a result. Are you able to make phone calls for example? How are you with making a hair appointment and having your hair cut?
When it comes to the dentist and doctor, be as honest as possible and take someone with you to advocate for you. Take your time and breathe. There are lots of grounding exercises you can use to calm yourself too.
I'm on the autistic spectrum and sometimes even the simplest tasks can become so overwhelming for me. It's a horrible feeling when everyone else seems to manage so easily but you're just stuck and don't know how to start. Once you get going though, you'll be fine and you can do this. Good luck.

The GP I would go to has a website but it's not clear on there. There's a phone number and an email address and a facebook page. But it lists the practice times - which is when people would normally just show up and wait. It's a bit of a different system here to in the UK - very few bookable appointments. You show up on the day and get in the queue. I did try once before COVID but there were 50 people waiting at 7 am and I just couldn't do it so went home.
I think they are doing appointment only at the moment. Stupid as it sounds I'm scared of ringing up in case I get told off for doing that if they are in fact doing the turn up and wait system again.

Have you checked if there's any walk in vax clinic type places?

I absolutely could not do that. Extreme needle phobia... I'd need to have someone I know do it. Someone who is aware of the situation. Possibly get some kind of medication from the doctor to calm me down beforehand. Also, the situation of being in a large hall with lots of other people is too overwhelming. I'm ashamed of myself and I can't bear people looking at me.

Are you able to make phone calls for example? How are you with making a hair appointment and having your hair cut?

Yes, I can make phone calls for other things really confidently. No problem at all.
Friend does my hair!

Can you talk to the hair friend and ask her if she knows how the doctors are managing their appointments right now?

I also recommend reaching out to friends who've you've lost contact with to help you. If someone contacted me I would help. Lots of people have been left feeling isolated with this pandemic.

Secondly it's important to keep in mind that doctors and dentists will never do anything against your will. It's all optional. Your first appointment can be just talking and explaining the situation.

Lastly I find the best way to deal with needles is to not look. You don't even need to see it. There are patches you can buy to numb the area as well beforehand.

Can you talk to the hair friend and ask her if she knows how the doctors are managing their appointments right now?

I could ask hair friend. She's never away from the doctor's.....
I'm always amazed by people who can just go to the doctor's and it's completely normal for them!

I've been trying to keep other friendships going but everyone really has just retreated into their family units. Things are opening up now so that might get better. But it's difficult.
Without giving too much info and potentially outing myself, one of the issues is the majority of my friends actually living across a national border from me which has been closed for months!

I think you need to reframe it for yourself and put yourself in the mindset that the dentist or the doctor is there to help you. I’m quite dentist phobic but always go for check ups but a couple of years ago I had a hairline fracture in a tooth which was kept flaring up and was really painful. It took a couple of appointments to find out what was wrong because the crack couldn’t be seen on the x ray. I was in so much discomfort, I was so thankful when the dentist removed the tooth and the pain! I’ve also had dimazipan (sorry spelling) before treatment and sedation at a dentist appointment which was really relaxing lol.
At a first dental appointment, the dentist will only be looking at your teeth.
With the doctor, the first step will be be finding out how to get the appointment, whether you have to queue on the day or book in advance. Do you have to register with the surgery first?

Oh I forgot - I did actually go to a Dr ( a different one) a few years ago for a driving licence medical. Have to have that here before you can enter for a test.
I managed it but my blood pressure was so high with the stress he took it 5 times. I was crying because the stupid blood pressure monitor stresses me out so much. Yes, I know, this is really bad, it's an extreme phobia...
The dr said he couldn't pass the medical unless the blood pressure was in a normal range. It did come down and he was eventually happy with it but it took 30 minutes to get a normal reading.

No blood tests at the medical thank goodness.

Do you have to register with the surgery first?

I don't think so. It's a completely different system here. You don't have a GP with a catchment area as such. You can go anywhere you like but you can only change GP once every 3 months.
Everything is coupled to an insurance card which also gives access to any medical notes you might have.

I'm going to go to bed now and try to ring my hairdresser friend tomorrow to find out how to get an appointment at the doctors. Then at least I know what the procedure is.

Dependant where you live it might not be the GP that even does it.

Maybe finding a counsellor that deals with phobias would be better. There's no waiting rooms. And you can learn techniques to help you get control over your fears.

The receptionist won't have a go at you just for enquiring about how the appointments work now. They'll be used to it, things are changing a lot atm due to Covid.

Dependant where you live it might not be the GP that even does it

It definitely is. You register online and can choose where you have the vaccination. If I choose a GP's practice it will be the doctor who does it as they don't have practice nurses in this country. The doctor does absolutely everything!

What about some CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)? It might help you with your phobias which are not uncommon. I don’t know where you are but it’s all online at the moment anyway so, time differences allowing, you could see a U.K. therapist. I think some can work remotely with someone outside the U.K. but you could email and ask. Have a look at this for accredited therapists www.cbtregisteruk.com/