Loss of control over bladder after forceps delivery

[Lishhhh]

Hi all...looking for some answers here...I am 4 weeks post partum and had a forceps delivery and long labour...after the birth I lost complete control of my bladder. No sensation to pee and have been leaking urine constantly...bladder was retaining some urine as well due to which had an UTI. I am devastated and feel like I will never be normal again...I have been referred to physio and have been doing pelvic floor exercises but no signs of improvement. .I am hardly able to bind with my new born. This thing is killing me...has anyone ever faced this and if yes did you recover and how long it took.

@CharleyC0956 no, I've got to the stage that I am ok unless I need to run, jump, do heavy lifting or if I have a cough or cold (I can hold my pelvic floor for the first sneeze/cough but if it's more than that I leak).
I tend to just use it if I know I'm likely to have issues - so if I'm going out for the day, taking kids to the park and I know I will run around with them, doing exercise etc.
It's brilliant! It's transformed my life and made me much happier. I used to leak a lot and so even if wearing a pad, I would need to go and change it. That wasn't always possible if at a park or on a day out. The contiform means I don't have to worry.

I had an emcs and lost sensation in my belly and bladder. I never lost control though, just never felt I needed a wee and this lasted several years.

@CharleyC0956 Sorry to hear you've been through it too. I remember at my 6 week check the GP said that it was still early days and to give myself time to heal, which eventually it did. I still look and feel a bit different now and I think I may have a prolapse issue but the bladder issues got better. I wore pads for about 12 weeks and still wear a liner every day, and my baby is now 10 months. I struggled to bond with my baby too, please speak to your health visitor if possible, they can provide a lot of help and support x

@CharleyC0956...no my sensation to wee has not come back..I still leak when I walk , get up from a sitting position...etc...I simply try and go to the toilet every hour or so..I am meeting a urogynae tomorrow private hoping to find some answers....please do let me know if you have any improvement...I will be 6 weeks post partum in 2 days....I am still so stressed about all this...

@Lishhhh

I’ll be 6 weeks in 2 days too. Same, I still have zero sensation when I need a wee and leak when I walk/stand etc. Basically all the time. Please will you let me know what your urogynae says? x

@Lishhhh @CharleyC0956 - I was like that at 6 weeks. I know everyone is different but I just wanted to give you hope that it gets better.
I know how stressful it is! I hope you get the help you need

I improved a lot after 6 weeks. You're still healing from the birth itself normally at that stage, let alone more complex injuries.

@Lishhhh @BlackKittyKat @coathangerdays

It’s just mortifying because I never ever knew that this happening was even a possibility. Obviously I’d heard of incontinence but I didn’t know I’d be put at an increased risk by having forceps and an episiotomy. When the Dr told me I needed one, that’s all that was said. No explanation of benefits or risks and I was too out of it to even ask. I had so many plans for my new little family. All of which I now can’t do. I just keep thinking about all things I’m going to miss out on. Just simple things like taking her to baby classes or swimming. What makes it worse is that I don’t know how long I’ll be like this for - it could be forever for all I know. It makes me feel sick to the core when I think about it. I’m 30 years old and my life as I knew it is gone forever.

I remember the feeling well. The absolute shock of it.

It's part of the reason I'm pretty open about it. I don't want it to be seen as taboo or shameful. I have said I've got permanent injuries from childbirth a number of times when activities or toilet access might be an issue at work etc.

When you do get to baby groups, have a smile and nod ready for those who will share water-births to whale song and just squeezing the baby out in 3 pushes. I had one acquaintance who put it all down to her yoga and attitude. I kept her at a distance.

You will find the other car crash survivors, those also juggling unexpected disabilities that may or may not be temporary. It just takes time. In the meantime, use online, call the Birth Trauma Association, use work counselling if you have it etc.

It will get better emotionally and mentally, no matter what happens physically.

Oh and you also learn to say, Sod it, and to do what you want more.

I used to go swimming with my baby once I'd improved quite a lot from the early days. I wasn't 100% certain I could make it to the toilet from the pool if I suddenly had a moment, but I didn't drink anything for an hour before, I used the toilet before going in, and I thought I am going to take this baby in the water as I am sure half these kids are weeing in here anyway.

I minimised the risk and took it once things had settled a fair bit. It was the anxiety about it stopping me, rather than the actual issue being an issue 99/100 times if that makes sense?

If I was going to somewhere without easy toilet access I stuck on my thickest Tena pad and chucked spares in the change bag. At least with a baby in tow you can just sort yourself with an easy excuse for the changing toilet anytime.

Top tip, wear dark jeans so if it all goes hideously wrong, it's less visible as you exit stage left.

And I developed a sense of humour when I could. And bought a she wee and a bottle to have in the car in case I was stuck in a traffic jam and couldn't get to a lay-by with foliage. Still have those for emergencies.

@coathangerdays
Thank you, I really appreciate all of your kinds words and advice. Tbh I don’t think I’ll ever get to stage of wanting to go out unless it gets better. I can’t even walk to pick up my tiny baby without wetting myself, and then again when I actually pick her up, so it’s only going to get worse as she grows heavier and starts walking around. It’s already started to ruin my relationship too. I miss the old me and I know my partner does too. We had the perfect life and now it’s all turned to shit. We had such a fun active lifestyle and had plans to continue travelling the world with our little one and now I’m the one who’s put a stop to all of that. I know eventually he will start resenting me for basically ruining the rest of his life too and be fed up of me moping around. Do you leak all the time still?

@toastjam thanks for your reply. Do you still leak or is yours okay now? How long would you say it took for your urge/sensation when you needed a wee to return? That’s the main thing that’s on my mind at the moment as the consultant said they can’t begin any treatment until that sensation returns.

Sensation did come back, not to the full extent of before, and the early warning system is not what it was. But it came back and it is usually fine with a thin Tena liner as back up.

Might be worth asking about a referral to a woman's health physio now in case there is a waiting list. Or looking for a good local private one if you can afford that. My early tests were done with electronic kit inserted into the vagina so I didn't need to have sensation to get some assessments done.

The physio could also advise on exercise you can do now, or what to avoid, if that would make you feel you're doing something.

I do recall the grief of the old life feeling lost. I was 33. It's all part of the mad identity shift to being a parent for the first time as well, lose old self, feel broken, add extra responsibility of another human.

Get support where you can, but also try and work out what you need today and stay in the present moment as much as possible. It's so easy to think it's like this forever. It will change and improve a lot. Work out how to do today, put in place appointments where you can, see the GP perhaps to let them know what's happening for future reference, and then find something you can do today that you enjoy. Book. Film. Food. Bath. Any tiny thing that is you looking after you. Repeat daily.

The leaks did slow and then stop as well. Now I only usually leak if I am struggling to get to the toilet quickly enough and know I need to go but can't hold completely until I get there. But it's a little loss and the thin Tena copes.

My main issue now is urge incontinence. I have a sudden urgent need to wee and I don't have the strength in the muscles to hold and wait as I used to.

It's really manageable but i am sorting HRT now Im mid 40's so I don't worsen when I don't have to. I plan to use it for life if I can find one that suits.

I had a forceps delivery, 3B tear and episiotomy 2 years ago.

I did regain control over my bladder after religious pelvic floor exercises and seeing a woman’s physio.

@coathangerdays

Did you lose the urge to urinate at the beginning or was your issue just the leaking?
that’s encouraging that your leaking stopped eventually. How long would you say it took for that to happen? I’ve got my first physio appointment this Thursday so I hope the early intervention will help.

@DinoHat

Did you lose the urge/sensation to urinate too? How long was your recovery? X

Sometimes it was urgency and I knew I needed to go but couldn’t hold it. But I also leaked a lot at the beginning. I’d say after 4 months I felt a significant improvement but nearer 1 year until it was properly healed.

Initially I had zero sensation. I stood up in hospital and my bladder just emptied.

I was catheterised and in and out of hospital for 5 weeks getting the catheter managed.

I did also stop breastfeeding at 5 weeks due to constant nerve pain that none of the specialists could fix (the meds needed to keep the pain in check couldn't be taken while breastfeeding. The irony).

Perhaps the change in hormones as I moved to mixed then bottle feeding, getting more sleep, recovering from the injuries, etc etc. I think it all helped.

Hi OP

I had a ventouse and definitely had trouble with just wee-ing with no warning for about 10 weeks afterwards, Got better after that and was 98 percent better by about 3 months.

Keep doing those exercises, you will heal.

@coathangerdays

That’s exactly what happened to me in hospital too. I also had a catheter put in to begin with but had it removed after a couple of weeks when I had my urodynamics appointment, so I could start pelvic floor exercises. I think they were hoping the sensation / urge to wee would return when the catheter was out, but it hasn’t. It’s so strange because I feel like I can feel my pelvic floor okay when I’m doing the exercises but I guess it still could be ruined. Have you managed to carry on going on holidays, running around after the kids etc or do you feel like you’ve missed out on a lot?

@CharleyC0956...finally had the private appointment...doctor has diagnosed vaginal wall prolapse stage 2...and stress incontinence...I have been asked to do a ultrasound scan for the pelvic region area...which is booked for 23rd of this month...I am shattered to hear this..feels like my life is over.

@Lishhhh

I’m so sorry :( atleast you have answers as to what it is though. Did they say whether they can fix it?
Is that what’s causing the loss of urge to wee?

@CharleyC0956. .unfortunately doctor said prolapse is for life...I have to control it and not let it progress to grade 3/4. In order to control it..I have to do pelvic floor exercises ....yes this has caused the stress incontinence.

Sorry to hear you have a prolapse OP. I do too. Pelvic floor exercises have made it manageable day to day and I use a pessary for exercise.

@Lishhhh

I thought there was surgery they could do to treat prolapse. Hopefully with doing pelvic floors it will control the leaking. I don’t understand how a prolapse can make you lose the urge to wee. I was told that was nerve damage as it messes up the signals between the bladder and your brain. How are you feeling?