Bone loss, periodontist, panicking

[mrsnibblesisahero]

Hi, I'm hoping somebody can relate to this and give me some level of reassurance. I went to the dentist today, wanting to talk about getting my bridge work replaced. I have developed a gap between my two front teeth - I thought because one of my side bridge teeth fell out some time ago, I thought it had drifted because of that.
But no, it's because of gum disease. He said I am missing bone. He is referring me to a periodontist. I have had a brief google and from what I can see, I'm screwed. I'm going to have very disgusting teeth, the treatment is going to make them look worse?
I can't google any more - I'm terrified - pretty much phobic of the dentist anyway, and phobic about even cleaning with those sticks. I'm going to have to get over that I know.
I'm not sure I can carry on if the appearance thing is very bad. I'm 46 and already in a very low place about my appearance. I'm not sure I will be able to be stay married - my husband is so lovely but I just won't be able to be normal with him. And my job, it relies on my appearance, or rather my confidence, I'm a Director in an agency, I have to spend my life talking to clients. I just don't know what to do.

Oh bless you OP.

When I was 28 I was told my gum disease was bad and I'd be too toothless by 40...

I'm 40 now and my teeth are totally fine! I just upped my hygiene and hygienist visits.

Was speaking to a friend about her getting and implant and she had bone loss, I assumed this meant they wouldn't be able to do it, but she said they'd put some sort of fake bone replacement in there and that some of the bone might even regrow around it.

Honestly periodontist referral is good, because they are experts in what's wrong with your teeth! Best people to fix it, doesn't mean it's a lost cause.

Thank you all, this is making me feel a little bit more optimistic. I dare have a little bit of hope I think. And it's making me feel less alone and less ashamed, there's more of us! @Netaporter the podcasts could just save me.

I am just desperately hoping to get that appointment through today, I've been referred so have to wait for a letter. The wait is pretty agonising as I just don't know what I'm dealing with yet.

Thank you all for being so supportive, I was in such shock I think and everyone from the start has been lovely.

I may keep posting, don't feel obligated to reply

I too have gum issues and visit the hygienist every three months. They always say I have good oral health and clean my teeth well and the gum issues are not necessarily my fault - it's probably a genetic thing. There are some areas I find hard to reach and get into with the interdental brushes as my mouth is so small. They have suggested I get referred to a specialist gum clinic but the cost of doing that scares me so much so in the meantime I'm continuing with the regular visits to the hygienist. I went a couple of weeks ago after having not been for about a year due to lockdown, etc and the hygienist said that they weren't too bad considering and the one I saw this time was lovely. Previous ones I've seen have been awful and made me feel so bad.

Yes I'm with you @everyonebutme, they can seem a little bit mean... and not at all empathetic. I guess I understand but then also there are lots of complex reasons why people end up this way.

I'm still baffled that I don't have any bleeding or tenderness or anything like that. And the feeling I had the other day that something was wrong, funny taste, headache, that's gone completely, I think that was an anxiety reaction actually.

It's just that I would expect to have the bad stuff more visible. Wondering if things are just so bad that they've gone past that stage...

No word from periodontist surgery yet so just trying to stay calm in the meantime.

@BillStickersIsInnocent did you have pain