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Original poster

How do I move on

15 replies

Santa01 · 30/04/2021 15:51

So was diagnosed with cancer last year, treatment all done and dusted and just back at work now.

From the outside I look ok and am interacting with work colleagues and family, however in my head I'm a broken person, every little niggle or ache has me in a panic, I keep looking at my kids and thinking will I live to see them grow up, it's a living night mare and I can't escape it apart from when I'm asleep, but then I wake up thinking about it again..

Just wondering how anyone here has moved on, my cancer was stage one and has a low risk of returning but I still can't rid of that feeling of dread...

Sorry for the depressing post on a Friday evening....

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 30/04/2021 15:54

Stage one or not, it was a traumatic scare. I think any reminder of our mortality can leave a mark on us. Can you get counselling?

Fyredraca · 30/04/2021 16:04

I think your reaction is normal and many other people in a similar situation would react exactly the same way.
Definitely get some help, talking to a counsellor is a good idea. It can be hard to talk to friends or family about this stuff because they are emotionally involved and you worry about upsetting them.
Also maybe some anti depressants for a while.

Opal93 · 30/04/2021 16:20

You maybe have post traumatic stress. And it wouldn’t be surprising you have been through so much! CakeFlowers. Another mum friend of mine almost lost her life due to sepsis and she said for a year she was absolutely traumatised and terrified of it returning. She had counselling which really helped. I would highly recommend therapy to help you come to terms with your experience.

SpudsandGravy · 30/04/2021 17:13

Another person recommending counselling, if you can arrange it. In the meantime, ThanksCakeWine x

Maggiesfarm · 30/04/2021 18:05

I'm so sorry. How you are feeling is not unusual at all and very understandable. A serious illness does leave a psychological mark. You need help to get round it and be able to enjoy life properly again, looking forward rather than back. I would have thought one of the cancer charities would be able to advise you where to go for this.

Congratulations on your recover. Better times are ahead.
Flowers

Skyliner001 · 30/04/2021 19:55

So much empathy. You will move on, you'll get there. You are doing amazing, be kind to yourself.

donerwillbehere · 30/04/2021 20:51

I think anybody would feel the same.
Counselling is the way forward .
No wonder you feel any pain or ache 😣. The trauma of what you went through and the uncertainty of everything must of been unbearable.
You have come this far , go and get some help to talk over what you have been through .
WineThanksxx

Original poster
Santa01 · 01/05/2021 11:09

Thank you for all your kind words, yes I know I definitely need to talk to someone, all services here are still online at the moment,thanks to covid, so I was waiting until they opened up properly, my nurse has referred me for counselling through the hospital so hopefully I'll hear from them soon, it is good to talk, even writing this post has been therapeutic, at least I can say how I feel rather than just smiling and saying I'm fine.
You guys are so good xx

OP posts:
Summerdayshaze · 01/05/2021 15:51

I feel the same OP. I think I’ve got PTSD from the shock of cancer diagnosis and ensuing brutal treatments. I feel ravaged and irrevocably changed.

Sending you a hug from afar.

Original poster
Santa01 · 01/05/2021 17:15

I hope you are feeling better now, or at least getting there, I think it's even helping me to write down my problem and admit I have one, since treatment ended, ppl ask me how I am and I just smile and say, yeah fine, and the conversation goes no further,

I hope you will think of getting counselling too, it can only help to talk. Sending love and hugs your way xx

OP posts:
ChipsAndKetchup · 01/05/2021 17:31

Hi OP. I could have written your post. I am exactly the same. Chemo for 6 months last year. And body changing breast surgery in January. Now every ache and pain leaves me in a flat spin.

I'm having macmillan counselling which kind of helps but it's almost more PTSD help I think I need.

There is a great document online which helped me a bit. Take a read and feel free to DM me anytime you want to chat. It's hard but I am hoping it gets easier.

www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Sending love to you.

Shouldbedoing · 01/05/2021 17:33

Do.you.have a Maggies Centre near you. They can help you process your experience

Shouldbedoing · 01/05/2021 17:35

www.maggies.org/

Original poster
Santa01 · 01/05/2021 18:43

Chipsandketchup thanks so much for that document, it describes my experience to a t, I must reread it again properly.

I don't have a Maggie's near me but there are a few other charities that I could contact so I'll def be getting in touch with one of them.

Thanks again for all the kind words x

OP posts:
ChipsAndKetchup · 01/05/2021 22:30

@Santa01 I've read it a lot. It's spot on isn't it. I also gave it to my Macmillan counsellor to share with others.

Get in touch with Macmillan. Just use the counselling sessions to get some of your feelings out. It's very valuable and it's so normal. X

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