Please advise - can't cope with sick baby

[Brozzer]

This is my first post. I don't know what dds/dhs/whatever are and these codes are not explained anywhere. Am I allowed to refer to my son as my son????!!!! He is 7 months old, has had a cold for 6 weeks and the doctor can't do anything. He has good days and bad days but has spent 3 days throwing up and wailing. No remedies work. My partner and I are exhausted and depressed and wish we'd never had a baby. These are the unhappiest days of our life. All the other parents we know are too smug and competitive to admit to ever being tired or pissed off with this joyless parenting lark. Any suggestions? Am I just totally alone here?

The first winter is rotten. Lucky friends whose babies have yet to succumb and cause the sleepless nights , snot drenched clothes a and so on - but they will too eventually. Your son (ds!) should build up an immunity as time goes on but it must be exhausting for you in the meantime. Do hope he improves soon.

I would DEFINATELY get a second opinion from someone - i completely sympathise with you. When my DS1 (Dear Son number one) was a baby i used to feel desperate and lonely when he was ill and as you say it can feel like the worse time of your life. I cannot advise what you can do with regard to this persistent cold but i am sure someone will come along to advise you soon. You will get lots of support on this site - you are not alone - you will get through it and before long it will seem like a distant memory - good luck

Hello, you sound like I often feel! Have you tried Medised, my son is 11months and v susceptible to colds, this works well because it has an antihistemine(sp). The best thing we did was buy a humidifier for £25 from argos and always bung that on at the first sign of a cold, it definitley helps him Also use Olbas oil and lavendar on hanky on cot to soothe. I just keep going back to the drs if the cold doesn't go, you need the support as well. Take care

Thank you for your kind messages (and now I understand what a ds is!!). It's so nice to be able to whinge about the baby and how crap it is at the moment!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhh. I want sleep xxx

Hi Brozzer... you are not alone i can assure you! having a poorly baby is awful, draining, boring and depressing. We;ve had problems with our daughter for several months (wont bore you with details!) which involve her screaming in pain for hours every night. My advice would be to keep going back to the doctor and ask them to re-check your son, just to be sure it is only a cold. If you think the last 3 days are significantly different or worse, definately go back to the doctor. This parenting lark really is hard isnt it... but it is worth it, honest. My daughter is a fantastic bundle of fun in the day, just night times are awful, so i concentrate as hard as i can on the days. but that dont mean that i dont cry with her on a bad night or dread putting her to bed... stick with mumsnet, you'll get loads of support.

Brozzer hope someone comes along who can help.
In the meantime would second the second opinion (stage a sit in at the docs if you have to). Another thing that might be making your son worse at the moment (e.g. high temp) could be teething? Also, assuming you've begun weaning - any chance of him being allergic to a new food - e.g. egg or fish? Would also wonder about asthma given that his cold has gone on for so long?

Sounds like you could do with a bit of respite yourself. Have you heard of 'homestart' - if not maybe ask your health visitor? Maybe also speak to the doc about how you're feeling - must be a nightmare to have had a sick wee one for 6 weeks but perhaps get yourself checked-out for post natal depression just to be on the safe side?
Best of luck.

You do sound desperate. I know how you feel. At that age my son also had a cold that seemingly went on forever, but it does go and it does get better. Go back to your GP re the sickness though. It could just be coughing and the snot making him sick, but it might be something else. How is his sleep generally? How are YOU generally?

This sounds tough - hope you're ok. My dd had a cold for ages & after some weeks I took her to the doctor & she had a course of antibiotics. This solved the problem - but I felt bad that she had to have antibiotics. I'd take your ds for a check up. Could you & dp try taking in turns to look after ds so that at least one of you gets some sleep. Best Wishes.

It is so horrible isn't it brozzer. My dd spent all of her first winter ill. I would second the Medised suggestion (dd calls it "special medicine"). You could also try a homeopath, we took dd when she was 1 and were given a few immune booster remedies which worked really well.

btw - if you click on "acronym list" at the top of the page you will see explanations of most of the codes in common usage - we're all v. lazy and can't be bothered to type full words!

Oh brozzer we have felt like this many times before! It is a nightmare when life is like this isn't it? The exhaustion is just unbelievable.

Do you have anyone who can give you a bit of respite eg parents, nanny etc?

Hope it improves soon

Oh and look at the link to "Acronym List" at the top of the page for explanations of the dds etc

No u are not! i certainly have been through bad times. Go back to your doctor and get some more advice and help, three days of throwing up is not good for anyone. When my dd had a throwing up episode it was due to an earache, get the doctor to check. And good luck, things will get better. And ignore the smug and competitive parents.

Second the 'go back to the doctor' advice given so far. Do sympathise massively as my dd has/had reflux so I totally appreciate what it's like to have a child throwing up a lot. Ring them tomorrow morning first thing and demand an immediate appointment. The doctor should take a you very seriously - it's important that your ds doesn't become dehydrated. Keep an eye on his fontenelle to make it isn't depressed.
Good luck seeing the doctor tomorrow.

Second, third, forth the comments about going back to the doctor - I have son with reflux, so KNOW about vomit - KNOW about lack of sleep. Our respite came when, finally, sleep deprived and pissed off at being told by GP that is was "just a stage" and "come back if it gets worse" (why did she think we were there to start with !!!) we demanded to see a paedeatrician - baby doctor said "can't believe it took you this long", and son is now happy after treatment. So, go see a doctor (again) and demand demand demand until YOU are happy that everything is OK. Let us know. Hope it all works out.

Agree with everyone else! I just wanted to say that it does get better (honestly!) I had a few times with DS1 where I only got through the day by reminding myself that adoption agencies existed - DS1 was an awful sleeper and I found it very hard to cope with pretty much no sleep, but you do and in the end you can look back and see what a tunnel you've been through.

You are definitely not alone

I second Fibe, DS had laringomalasia and everybody GP, HV (health visitor) and friends keep insisting it was just a "psseting phase". So please go back to the doctor or to another doctor who pays more attention to you, 6m is too long a time for a cold.

PS In the mean time, try to limit goings out for a couple of days, I have noticed that it helps to control the colds a bit. Good luck.

hello my dd was about 10 weeks her first xmas and caught a cold which felt like it went on for a few months, they develop into other colds, at one stage go a cough which took weeks to go away so i understand how you feel. touch wood she rarely gets colds now so its all immune system building im afraid.

humidifers are great but expensive. when putting you baby to bed, put a rolled up blanket under the head of his mattress to raise his head slightly not too much, this allows th snit to drain out. tie up a muslin near the cot with drops of karvol or oilbas to help him breathe. boil a kettle and stand in the room at a safe distance from cot and remove lid so steam is released and moistens the air. if heating needs to be on, place wet flannels on radiator and bowl of water underneath it.

dont worry it will pass we all promise BUT if your ever in doubt go see your gp

x

The karvol works marvels if drops are put in the humidifier water.