Wondering if anyone can advise?
I'm 43 years old and I have always had issues with:
- losing things (wallet, phone, keys, money ALL THE TIME)
- being very easily distracted
- tangential in conversations
- struggling to focus
- being fidgety (I find doing nothing very agitating e.g. waiting for food to arrive at a restaurant makes my eyeballs itch), I pace when on phone calls
- racing thoughts
I find small talk really difficult. I’m always rushing onto the next thing. I speak really fast and (this one is really embarrassing) I interrupt people. That makes me sound like such an arsehole but it's not because I'm not listening, I’m actually a pretty good listener in some respects in that really do take on board the detail of what people say and can remember conversations word for word and will go over them in my head for hours and days afterwards, it’s just that, in the moment, I start to get where they are going and get really excited and want to add to it.
- I say yes to way too many things and then get overwhelmed
I was a high achiever at school, got all As at A-level etc but really struggled with mental health at university and didn't do as well in finals as I should have done because I froze in the exams and didn't finish any of my papers. I just couldn’t get essays in on time for tutorials and it wasn’t for want of trying, I spent countless hours in the library trying to focus and starting and restarting things. Looking back at my childhood, although I was very compliant and got on academically, I was forever losing things, being late, getting lost, not handing in homework on time and I loathed any work that had to be done within a set time frame.
I see many of these symptoms in older family members on one side and also DD1. DD1 is very able in many ways but I just cannot get her out of the door on time and she struggles with basic organisation and focus much more than her younger sister.
Anyway, I’m sure you get the picture. I’ve been reading quite a lot about this and a bit of me would like to get a formal assessment but I’m quite torn about it. For a start, DH is pretty dismissive of this kind of thing and I suspect he would just think it was a useless label for a set of totally normal characteristics and that DD and I should just get better at concentrating and remembering things. But neither of us is lazy or stupid, we just seem to find it really hard to do things that others find easy.
I’m also not interested in a label for the sake of it but all the above has been such a hindrance over the years and I feel I’ve wasted much of my potential because I haven’t been able to manage it all better. I’m very underpaid for my skill level and the constant losing things plus the racing thoughts etc causes real distress. So, I’m starting to think that having an assessment might help to get me get some good advice and strategies.
Or, maybe I just have to accept that this is the way I am and live with it.
Does anyone have experience of this or advice? Would I even get an assessment on the NHS? I feel quite sheepish about raising it with the GP – no face-to-face appointments these days so it would all be on the phone and I fear I’d just sound totally neurotic.
Any advice much appreciated.