Feeling very sorry for myself, and terribly over emotional.... sorry!
Since DD2 was about 9 months have had a gut feeling that all was not as it should be, dd1 is very bright, talked early and has never had any behaviour issues beyond the norm. Dd2 has always been a challenge, very physical (overly so) horrendous tantrums - which have needed her to be restrained at times for her and our safety, and slow to develop speech. When she got to a year old I raised my concerns with regard to her speech development and queried hearing loss with the health visitor who brushed me off and said she was within acceptable band for both areas. At 18 months I had still got concerns, especially with escalating tantrums and still delayed speech (relative to her sister) and fought with HV to get a hearing test referral and speech therapist referral just before she was 2. Both of whom considered her to be on boundary of acceptable limits and just a bit slower to develop than DD1 - you shouldnt compare siblings etc etc. Her tantrums have got worse and worse and increasingly difficult to cope with as has her very physical nature, she will bite when frustrated, sometimes gets anxious around loud or unexpected noises, tv on massively loud for her to hear, and is still at 3 very difficult to understand.
At the back of my mind I have still had concerns about her hearing and her speech and after a conversation with another mum at school self referred to a private hearing centre because HV wouldnt refer again. We went yesterday and the relief at finally being told what I have thought for the last 2 and half years is unbelievable... she has significant hearing loss in one ear and hearing in the other ear is down to, although probably just about ok for speech acquisition. The Dr thought that it was probably good at the moment!He has referred her on to another consultant who we are seeing next week.
I am now feeling very guilty and very stupid for not pushing more with the HV, GP etc SHe has not had recurrent ear infections etc but has a VERY high pain threshold so its possible that a high temp and a spoonful of calpol when she has been a bit under the weather may have been enough to get her through. Also kicking myself for not putting all the signs together and looking at the bigger picture, especially after reading some threads on MN today which identify links between behaviour issues and hearing problems...
Thats it really, feel very let down by GP and HVs but very relieved and very tearful and now worrying about what the consultant will say...
If you are still reading and havent fallen asleep I would love to hear from anyone who has had similar experiences or can give me any advice about questions to ask, ways to manage my dd etc. Thankyou