Dentists - why are we scared of them

[Ailsa]

I never used to be scared of the dentist, but for some reason, don't know what or why, over the last 12 months I've got really scared of going.

After having raging toothache all weekend I finally plucked up the courage to go to the dentist today.

I had to have a new set of records because they couldn't find mine and someone elses.

I've got 2 broken wisdom teeth which have to come out. It turns out that the wisdom tooth that isn't giving me any grief is the one that's worst.

I chickened out of having the painful one pulled today, but have got another appointment to get it sorted.

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i think it must be the weather!!!!ive had a terror of dentists since childhood and last time i had rampaging toothache i plucked up the courage to go and to cut a long story short it just made me worse...i told the dentist i could still feel the nerve he was trying to remove but he told me i was imagining it .twenty minutes of chronic pain later it was all over.ive had toothache for the past few days and in desperation this morning am going to visit my sympathetic gp ,i know ive got an infection so hopefully he'll give me some antibiotics .im off on hol on sunday so cant afford a trip to the dentist before i go but will have to conquer this fear and go when i get back.

just a tip here but i found calgel teething gel was great for getting rid of pain for a while and cordysil is good but i dilute mine down as i find its a bit strong and splits the inside of my mouth open.

I am terrified of the dentist and I've never actually had a bad experience with one. I just find the noise & the mental image of what they're doing makes me feel physically sick. I have to make my 6 month appointments and keep to them otherwise the fear just builds up!

I've just moved and am putting off finding a new dentist as my old one told me I'd need a filling soon. Yes, I know it's not going to go away if I leave it but I like behaving like an ostritch sometimes!

You can have wisdom teethout under general anaesthtic in hospital I believe - no way could I have mine done whilst still awake. istill have all 4 of mine.

I used to be scared of the dentist too, (shaking etc) but I am cured after finding a wonderful woman. She is so gentle you would hardly know she was doing anything, even injections. She numbs everything very slowly so you feel almost nothing and checks that you don't have any sensation before she begins work.

I think shopping around is a good idea. You don't register with a dentist in quite the same way as with a Dr (although as we are private patients; maybe the NHS situation is a bit different?) and if you don't like the dentist on your first consultation, then try elsewhere. If you are very nervous, ask for an informal chat before committing yourself or ask around for dentists who use hypnotherapy.

We've always taken the children to appts and none of them are at all nervous. In fact, the youngest one thinks it's a fun day out!!

One of the reasons I am very uneasy - ok, scared - when I go to the dentist, is this feeling of utter impotence. When you're on your back, mouth full of hardware, etc etc, it just feels so out of control. I just happened to register with a wonderful, gentle dentist, who always explained everything carefully, never asked me a question unless I was in a position to answer properly, and, best of all, before she started anything, would say 'If you want me to stop, just lift up your left hand'. So simple! Having a sign arranged between yourself and the dentist, so that he or she doesn't have to interpret grunts, makes it so much less scarey!

And another thing she suggested was that, if you're going to have a particular procedure done, rather than just a quick check-up, take a personal stereo with you to distract you. She meant music, and was confused why I - a nervous patient - kept laughing...I was listening to Victoria Wood!

Jasper aren't you a dentist - come and tell us we're all being silly-ninnies!!! I don't like going to the dentist - see it as a necessary evil,. Anyway earlier this year my final wisdom decided to come thru (I'm nearly 40), and it meant my teeth didn't line up so I couldn't close my mouth. Agreed to have tooth out, and chatting to my dentist he says half the people he sees are nervous. Ailsa - ask before you go if you can take some painkillers for afterwards. The good news was it wasn't too painful afterwards - too a couple of paracetamol had a kip for a couple of hours, and then it was uncomfortable for a couple of days, but not painful. So hope that cheers you up Ailsa

I recently had a wisdom tooth out,it wasn't painfull before but was only half way through so the dentist decided i needed it removed.It was the worst experience of my life, I was in agony for days and my Dh had to take time off work cause i couldn't even look after DS,I would rather give birth again than go through that.I've got another appointment for a check up in December and I'm not sure whether or not I'll go.

I've never really worried unduly about going to the dentist but am aware that it is such a common fear that I ensure I take DS with me to every appt and have registered him with my dentist. The first time he went aged 4 months he had 1 and a half teeth which were duly entered on his chart although he slept through the entire experience. But the last twice (aged 10 months and 16 months) he has loved it - all those shiny things to look at, that big light and drills and things to grab hold of. Presumably the dentist had to resterilise everything after we left.... I do find it a bit off putting having him bouncing around on my lap while I'm laid back in the chair with the dentist probing around in my mouth but reckon its worth it.

I had root canal work last year and I swear I found it more painful than giving birth.

I could spend all day on this thread but will try not to.
I was a dental phobic until I was in my early 20s when I had to choose between having lots of treatment or face the reality of letting my teeth crumble away.
Overcoming my fear (thanks to a wonderful dentist) was what made me want to become a dentist ( as a maturish student)in the first place.

Helen mc I don't anyone is being a silly ninny at all.I think fear of the dentist is perfectly understandable.
Most people's first experience of a dentist is of a scarey stranger in a funny smelling place with a cupboard full of sharp pointy tools - that is before you add an association with pain. But as Soupdragon says, you don't even have to have had a bad experience to be scared.

I despair when I hear of dentists saying there is nothing to be scared of, or worse still, not believing the patient who says they are not numb enough.

There is lots of good advice here. You really do need to find a dentist you "like", and can trust.I realise this is not always easy, but ask around. Most people "hate" the dentist, but like their own dentist.

If your fear is insurmountable, you might like to consider getting treatment under intravenous sedation. You are conscious and totally relaxed throughout the procedure and the majority of patients have very little memory of it later on. Lots of dentists do this nowadays since general anaesthesia is pretty much being phased out.
Most patients report really enjoying the experience of IV sedation.
The downside of it is you have to have someone take you home and should really not do very much at all for the rest of the day ( you should NOT be left alone to look after children for example)
Another sugestion is to ask your dentist (or GP)to prescribe some valium for you .
Often after a few visits the valiun can be discontinued.
We have many patients who started off being completely terrified and now actively enjoy their visits. (bizzarre, I know)

Leander , having recently experienced bone pain I have every sympathy for your post extraction experience - indeed worse than childbirth, which we all agree is not that bad really .
Did you get an infection in the socket?
Can I reassure anyone facing an extraction that severe afterpain is not an inevitability. Most extraction sockets heal with little or no pain ( and that includes wisdom teeth extractions).

Hope this helps.

hi Jasper, no I didn't have an infection,Will the hole ever close and if so when? thanks in advance.

Jasper, delighted to hear you are a dentist - one of my favourite breed of people - really! I have spent an enormous number of hours in the dentists chair having smashed my front teeth out twice. I am now the proud possessor 2 dental implants which have cost me a fortune but are absolutley brilliant. helped by the fact that the surgeon was gorgeous!! I have never been scared as i have had stuff done so often i got used to it, but it can be very unpleasant. And funny, like when on a visit for work at an engineering firm and my front teeth fell out on the purchase ledger!!
hope all you people are pain free soon. glad to hear you did so well on the WW front too Jasper, in time for your posh wedding. GTG - should be working! All the best, salalex

Just out of interest salalex, how much did those implants cost? R (Retired dental nurse)

Jasper - thanks for replying, I've always thought of myself as a silly ninny, as all my dentists have been really good no bad experiences (5 teethout, 2 braces and 4 fillings)and I couldn't explain why I didn't like going. But it all makes sense now. The scariest people are the 2 ladies that guard the reception!!!!

Don't know why I was so worried about going to the Dentist yesterday, I knew what he was going to say. I've already had one wisdom tooth out, the worst bits were when I had the needle into the roof of my mouth and hearing the noise while the dentist was pulling the tooth out.

Jasper, I had this intravenous sedation recently (I think you gave me some advice on it actually) and have to say that it was truly amazing. However, I would say to allow more than a day for the effects to wear off. I feel asleep while looking after dd the next day and found it very difficult to keep my eyes open or act like anything other than a zombie for nearly 36 hours. I felt wretched when I woke up the morning after it, but while the effects of it lasted I loved it and was (apparently, I don't remember this, thank God!) asking dh where we could get some more!!!

Think having to take a toddler to a dentist actually got me over hating dentists - that and the fact I had to wait a year to find a dentist with space to take a new NHS patient so was mightily relieved to actually find one. I was so concerned that dd would dislike her first dental experience, that I went a bit ott, doing a peculiar 'isn't having your teeth looked at totally wonderful' song and dance routine. Dentist clearly thought I was insane, and when I came out of the surgery I was laughing so hard at myself that I couldn't be apprehensive about my own dental work. Dd, for the record, wants to go to visit the dentist again!

Rhiannon - £3250 - OOOOWWWW!!!!!!!!

I have just come back from an evening course (about how to improve oral health in under fives in Glasgow)and must say I am really cheered by reading all the messages on this thread, as you are such a positive lot!
ks I have sort of kept quiet about it partly because usually when people hear you are a dentist you end up having to defend all the bad dentists in the world. Also ,there are several regular posters on mumsnet who have been giving spot on advice about kids' teeth long before I ever came on board.
Salalex, great to hear from you again. We were about to send out the search party.
Leander, YES , the hole will close completely. Your body forms new bone to fill up the bony defect where the roots were previously, but it will take weeks or months depending on how big the roots were, how deeply the tooth was buried, and whether any bone had to be removed to get the tooth out.
ks you would be amazed how far some people will "commute" to see a dentist they like.

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Over the years I have worked with some fabulous dentists and some that I wondered how they ever qualified at all.

One practice that I temped for for a very short time told me that I couldn't use the autoclave (steriliser) as it wasn't in the room I was using and to liquid sterilise instead (not a very effective way of sterilising metal instruments)

I also worked for a month for dentist who not only told patients his fillings weren't available on the NHS and charged them privately but also got them to sign an NHS form (a way to get paid twice for the same work and highly illegal).

Sadly the only way most people tell a 'good' dentist is how much they hurt. Or how big their hands are!

Sorry girls, have just realised that this is probably not very helpful!

Jasper, maybe you can give me some advice, too, if you don't mind me picking your brians!

Dh really likes those mouthwashes, like Plax etc. I've read that overuse can be a cause of oral cancer, due to the alcohol contained in most of them (and they all seem to have alcohol in them in Indonesia, despite it being a Muslim country). Is this true and if so, what constitutes 'overuse'? What do you recommend people to do?