Nursery and illnesses - newborn

[Lou0712]

Hi

My son has had minimal socialisation with other kids & once my elderly parents who I am in a bubble with have had their second jabs, I want to send him to nursery a couple of hours twice a week so he can be with other kids.
I’m also pregnant with my second child so want to settle him prior to the new baby arriving when I’d imagine I’ll need more help!

I know kids are basically permanently ill when they start nursery and I’m wondering if sending him a few months before the baby arrives will be enough time for him to get most of them out of the way?? Also...is it silly to send to a kid to nursery to then bring loads of bugs home to a newborn when I don’t HAVE to send him to nursery? Should I wait until the newborn is a bit stronger?
I know so many parents won’t have the choice and I’m sure their newborns are fine but I’m worrying about that and also if I’m actually setting myself up for more hard work rather than less having a poorly toddler and newborn on my hands! (Also poorly toddler when pregnant!)

What are everyone’s thoughts? Especially with covid around...

You could just take him to mother and toddler groups which are one of the first things to reopen. No point artificially introducing more germs than necessary? But anyway, your newborn will be protected by your antibodies to an extent and more so if you intend to breastfeed.

Thanks you.
Yes I’ve signed up to a toddler group starting in April. That’s a good point, I guess he’ll get a lot of socialisation there.

My reason for doing it sooner was so that when the baby arrives, I could have more help with him being in nursery while I’m caring for the newborn and didn’t want to suddenly start him at one then when his life will already be very different at home?
But maybe I’ll manage with both of them at home....my mum can help a bit but she’s not very confident on her own with my toddler.

Yeah. I'd send him early. If you do it once the baby is actually here, they can think they're not wanted now the baby is there.
I'm sure he/she will get the normal cold that spread around. Chickenpox tends to be one that goes round nurseries. Up here it always happened in Dec/Jan for some reason.

Alot of toddlers struggle to settle in,
Afew hours a day twice a week, just wouldnt be enough imo for toddler to settle well...

He will get sick, alot.

We always recommended that the child starts about 6 weeks before mum has to go back to work
(I worked in a nursery for 6 years and was a nanny for 5 years)

But with Covid and your parents
Im not sure i would do this as the risks of catching Covid are higher as well as the risks to you in pregnancy

Plus, ‘if’ your lo does bring covid home, your parter wouldnt be able to be present at the birth....

So lots to consider

@MouthAche thanks for your advice. So how often do you think a toddler would need to go in order to settle?
I didn’t think about the covid aspect with the birth. But I know I will need him to go to nursery at some point when the new baby arrives....I was worried sending him once the baby is here would be confusing and make him feel rejected just like Torvean says above...
What is your experience with this having worked with young kids a lot?
Thanks

FYI I’m now leaning towards waiting until the baby is here and sending him maybe a month or so after then when he’s 2 and therefore in the older group so less change. I just hope he doesn’t feel like it’s too much of a rejection!

I’d send him. Get him settled now so he’s in a solid routine before your little one is here. Fwiw I was bracing myself for all the bugs and DD (who’d been home until then) didn’t get sick once.

I would personally wait,
Get the birth over with, spend time with both of them for afew months, Let Covid settle abit more, More people vaccinated etc.
Him feel more secure around u and baby, afew months is alot of time when they are toddlers.
Start in the older room like you say...

I would personally maybe do something like Monday, Wednesday, Friday, for afew hours in the mornings. So theres not a huge break between days but every child is different.

Some go to nursery Monday and Tuesday and the 5 day break is ok....
Really does depends

People will have different opinions
So i guess its just what works for you and your family
Theres no real right or wrong

DD was constantly ill for about a year after starting at nursery. Some illnesses are seasonal- seems to be loads more chicken pox round in spring for example- not stre why

I sent mine to nursery 1 morning a week and settling sessions were one 1hr morning session a week too. She was a bit teary but no issues after a few weeks, but every child is different. She hasn't had many bugs (a fair few but not horrific amounts), she caught more colds from mother and baby groups to be honest, it's inevitable.

Thank you everyone! A lot to think about....I think I’ll delay it by a couple of months and see how we get on at the baby groups and take it from there.
Covid makes it more complicated! Think I will up to 3 days a week to help him settle better though.
Really appreciate all your responses