Cancer Support thread #78 - Newbies welcome

[MrsPnut]

Welcome friends old and new, to the most supportive thread on Mumsnet. Everyone is welcome whatever stage you're at (fears, diagnosis, treatment). Introduce yourself and say Hi

Good luck to everyone having treatment this week. Hugs to all - especially if you're feeling rubbish (physically, mentally, or waiting for results - ugh

Oh shit, I've missed bad news- sorry Humphrey! I'm terrible for racing through replies if I've got something to post quickly .

@BitOfFun If Covid restrictions weren't an issue, what would your bucket list be?

@BitOfFun It seems like a big milestone having treatment withdrawn.
It’s something I would dream about because I hate being messed around with so hospital appointments, medication etc are something that really riles me.
It’s ironic then that I have had ulcerative colitis for ever and had so much medication that I needed a carrier bag each month.

@backformore, I don't ask for much...maybe a drive round The Lakes, and a pootle about the Welsh coast?

BitOfFun I'm sure you do feel abandoned,we won't abandon you xx

@BitOfFun can you not economise on the truth and go for a pootle? So long as you're socially distant I can't see you causing a one woman Covid hotspot.

BitOfFun I think you deserve as much of a pootle as you want and anyone who has a problem with that has a major stick up their arse.

Could you rent an RV? Get a note from your oncologist. I'm sure someone did something similar during the first lockdown.

DH's ex has offered us the loan of her vintage VW camper van, so.I could get quite excited about that. We could even take the dog!

Hey, I could pick you all up on the way for a roadtrip! We could call it the Cancervan and perform mysterious acts of surrealist art 👍💕🌺

@BitOfFun count me in, that would be amazing! The Cancervan

@BitOfFun Now that sounds like a plan! Love me a vintage camper van and some sea (or even lake) air :) Sounds eminently reasonable and doable, too, surely?

@BitOfFun that sounds amazing. I love our caravan.

HC x

Oh can I come too? Gives you all an excuse for a road trip across the Irish Sea 👍🏻 I can bring gin and champagne

Thank you @MrsPnut for the new thread.
I was dg with ovarian cancer in May 2019, had surgery and chemo, but six months after finishing chemo got a metastatic lung tumour. That was removed, and now I'm recovering from my fourth session of six chemo treatments. Utterly fed up with the side effects, and feeling very miserable about future prospects - I just don't know if I could bear to go through a third round of chemo. I'm in my 60s, live with my wonderful partner and have great support from family and friends.

Sorry I haven't got it in me to catch up properly with everyone, I can see there is good news and hard news. Sending love and warm wishes to all, and a welcome and sympathy to newbies.

@BitOfFun I am with everyone else just go!! No one, police poitician, nosy neighbour would grudge you this trip. You would be in your own wee bubble in your camper van. No risk to anyone. Spring time is a beautiful season to see our country, you get out there and enjoy it. This to me counts as an essential purpose and I am a health care professional (for what thats worth)!!

Oh yes, do go @BitOfFun!!! I've not been to the Lakes but saw it recently on one of those celebrity jaunts programmes - it looked divine.

@Bloodybridget huge hugs to you bridget - my heart sinks at the thought of a possible future second never mind third round of chemo. I find my spirits really sink when I'm actually feel the ill effects - I just lose the will to live. What I'm meaning to say is - I think it's a big ask to feel positive about anything while you are in that particular place. Hoping for better days to come.

@BitOfFun I'm definitely in for the cancervan. It's got me singing this song to myself all morning:

Im sorry to hear about those of you that have been suffering bad chemo side effects. I read everything I could when I was diagnosed and dreaded starting it but have been through 12 cycles of chemo and have generally been very well on it. However I dont think its worked as well as it might so perhaps thats why. Everyone is so different arent they no one's "journey" (hate that word) is the same. Im glad I found this part of MN, makes you realise you arent the only one and a lot of you are coping much better than me mentally.
I think we should all treat ourselves to a big hand clap and magnum of champagne!

@Bloodybridget oh dear, so sorry to read your update. I do understand and also feel really miserable about future prospects. I also hate feeling so rough so much of the time and at times such as these, like @Acinonyx2, sometimes lose the will to live. I was brave at my appointment on Thursday and asked about my staging and I am 3c. I got very upset, even though I knew I must be at least a 3 but the nurse explained that with OC it is all very treatable, manageable, controllable, all those reassuring words. It comes at a price though and that is the part that depresses me.

I am getting bogged down with all the appointments I have to attend. My friend's DF had cancer a couple of years ago and she was constantly taking him for a variety of appointments, several times a week and I thought this was indicative of how ill the poor man was. Now I think it is standard what with all the blood and Covid tests thrown in. Last week I was at a hospital Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and twice on Saturday (different hospitals for a change of scene). This week only Tuesday and Thursday, then tomorrow my Covid test, then it's Monday and Wednesday so far this week . People say about working through chemo but even if I felt well enough I don't know how my timetable would fit in with a job!

Its a whole new life style "Fizzy" . Im retired so all the appointments are not so much of a hassle for me, actually a trip to the hospital breaks the monotony of this lockdown. The thought of the rest of whats left being taken up with appointments, treatment, and worry is very daunting though, particularly as I rarely visited the doctors prior. Its a good thing we have the NHS though,imagine if we had to pay for all this.

@thereisonlyoneofme I rarely visited the doctors prior to all this too, in fact I hadn't been prescribed any tablets, not even antibiotics for about 17 years! Having chatted with many of my new chemo friends at the unit, so many of them report the same. I wonder if that is also the case on here? It seems so strange that one can be really healthy for years on end and then get cancer. I also find the prospect of the remainder of my life being one long round of appointments and treatment very depressing too. I also hadn't ever considered how worrying and stressful waiting for results and appointments was with the constant sick dread of what I might be told. My only experience of waiting for health results up until all this was waiting for the result of a smear test. I really am trying to relax and value my weekends now, mainly as it gives me two days when I don't have to dread that hospital number lighting up on my phone .

I'm impatient for treatment to start and yet dreading it at the same time. I've been told in no uncertain terms that I am not allowed to work. Too high infection risk.
I'm gutted. The thought of staying at home for 12 weeks terrifies me. My job is a massive part of who I am. I also own the business so I'll stress about not being there day to day.
I seasaw between over optimism and pit of doom depression. Today is a bad day. All the what ifs came out to play.

@BadEyeBri two weeks into radiotherapy and you’ll definitely be glad you are not at work. Doing those 5 weeks were so tough. I’d go to treatment and then come home and sleep for the rest of the day.

Count me in for the cancervan too, can we go and stay near some water. The lakes or seaside, I’m not fussy which.

Oh @BitOfFun - I am sorry there is no treatment on offer now. And I am crossing everything that you get some real life and enjoyment. I would definitely take off in the camper van - we can be with you in spirit, especially if you felt like posting a travel blog and a few photos!