enlarged pupil and absolutely terrified. Can anyone help? please!

[kaylasmum]

Hi, i'm really hoping someone can help alleviate my fears, 3 days ago while on holiday i noticed that my left pupil looked larger than my right. Not much bigger but noticeable. Sometimes it looks like its gone back to normal end then i'll look again and its bigger again. I have real problems with anxiety and suffered from PND after my little girl was born 4 years ago. i had a little boy 10 months ago and feel sure that my PND is returning. Anyway i called NHS 24 when i first noticed this and they said that as there was a lack of any other symptoms then i should'nt worry, but needless to say i still worried and the next day i spoke to my GP over the phone who said pretty much the same as the nurse and to go to an optician to get my eyes tested when i got back from holiday. So again i felt a little better until my grown up daughter came to see me and said that she could definately see the difference, just when i thought they were looking more equal! I got myself in to total panic and called my GP surgery again, spoke to a different doctor who tried to calm but unfortunately did'nt really. He told me i should go for an eye test, and i proceeded to break down into tears and told him that i was worried that i had a brain tumour or was about to have a stroke as my mum died of a stroke at the age of 45.

He told me that both these things were unlikely. Because i was in such a state my daughter called NHS 24 for me again. Went over all the same things with the nurse and she reckons the same as the others. I do intend to go for an eye test first thing tomorrow morning. I have been getting lots of tension headaches over the past few days also, my neck is very tight feeling too. Earlier on i felt that i just could'nt function or deal with my kids, i know thats awful but ireally felt that i was going to have a breakdown. I'm so scared, just hoping that someone can give me some reassurance.

Tracey.

.

The reason why they would look less equal in artificial light is that it is usually not as bright as daylight. Usually if there is a problem it's with the dilating muscle, not the constricting one so it becomes more obvious in darker conditions when the pupils are supposed to be enlarged.
That difference is far less worrying than one which shows up in bright light.
This can be common in women of a certain age, kayla.

Thanks again chipmonkey, it does help to hear from you. I hope i'm not being too annoying by asking all these questions. Do you think i should just forget about it now and how likely do you think it is that it will stay this way. The optometrist that i saw said that it could be viral or hormonal so just wondering if that means that it might go away. My GP did'nt give any indication of wanting to keep a check on it so i assume she is unconcerned, she also metioned the fact that i'm getting older maybe having something to do with it. Also my daughter mentioned that she has noticed the same thing with her son, not all the time but occassionally. Don't know if there's any connection, he's 18 months old and was born premature so not sure if its always been there.

Thanks again,

Tracey.

kaylasmum, if you think you will be able to forget about it and put it to the back of your mind then I would forget about it. If on the other hand you'll be worrying about it for months or years on end, further investigation might just put your mind at rest for once and for all.
BTW unequal pupils in a baby or child should always be checked out. Again, mostly they're nothing but in rare cases can indicate a problem so your dd should have her lo checked out. FWIW my ds2 has unequal pupils and he was 8 weeks prem. Prem babies are more prone to squints and lazy eyes as well so this should probably be investigated.

Hi Kaylasmum

Just wanted to offer a few words of support. I suffered from anxiety/PND for a long time, and definitely knew when I had health scares that it meant my pnd was getting worse. I too had a very restless baby who fed all night just as your does, and I am sure that lack of sleep compounded it.

It sounds as if your optician has reassured you. Just wanted to warn you that such anxiety - whilst completely understandable (I still daren't look any illness up on the internet) - can be a signal to you to take more care of yourself. Depression - pnd or other - is very debilitating, but exercise, different diet, sleep and posting on MN can all help a lot.

In the end, dh took my dss on at nights and sent me out of the room. The first night was awful but the next much better, and after 3 he really didn't worry about feeding at night again. They were a bit older than yours, but getting more sleep helped a lot. Going to bed at 8pm with the kids once a week also helped enormously.

Best of luck.

chipmonkey- I really want to forget about it, and most of the time i feel fine. Its just every now and then that i feel over anxious about it. I'm not sure whether to go back to the GP or not as she said to me that i've had it checked out with a sight test which was fine and that also she'd had a look and my eyes were responding perfectly to light. She said that i'd probably feel anxious for a few weeks or so, she's been my GP for over 20 years and knows about my anxieties. I know i should just leave it at that and forget about it. THe optometrist that i saw said that if she was concerned she would have referred me up to the hospital right away.

Notquitegrownup- i know that my anxieties are totally taking over and when this happens i convince myself that i'm going to die. I thought my GP might have referred me back to the CPN but she kust spoke about getting plenty of exercise and to watch my diet. I really need to get more sleep as this is how my PND started last time. Planning to go to bed really early tonight, just feel that if i could get a few nights of good quaslity sleep i would start to feel better. thanks for your replies,
Tracey.