Burnout after loss of parent

[feelingtheburrn]

I lost a parent due to traumatic circumstances a few years ago and had to grow up very quickly overnight. I'm in my early 20s and life has been moving at a million miles an hour since.

I've struggled with establishing a proper routine and putting structures in place to support me properly.

As a result of this, every few months I get really overwhelmed by all that's happening around me and burn out.

I struggle with functioning properly: missing deadlines or meeting them by the skin of my teeth.

My diet is largely awful (takeaways galore) and sleeping through the night is a rarity. I wake up once or twice at least and rarely feel properly rested in the morning.

I am in therapy and although I have people around me who are "there for me", I honestly just feel so alone and empty inside at times.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? Any tips for overcoming this?

Hi OP
I’m really sorry for your loss, to me it sounds like you are grieving. The loss of a parent is such a big thing, especially in traumatic circumstances where you are so young. My heart really goes out to you.
It’s good you have some people who are there for you. Is there one that you like and can open up to about how you’re feeling right now?
If I was with you right now, I’d offer a cup of tea and a bit of paper to start making plans.
-what are some of the things you can decrease to help with the overwhelm?
-what one thing would help you take a step in the direction you want to go? This could be starting a weekly menu to move away from the takeaways or resuming something that recharges your well-being (long bath, chatting to a friend, doing a particular hobby).
You’ll find your way OP, keep going. Always here if you need to chat.

Thanks TangerineGreen this is really helpful.
I have a supportive partner, but they've not lost anyone before so it's hard for them to "say the right thing" (if that makes sense). My parent's friends are also pretty supportive because they're older and know how life is.

I've taken steps towards decreasing overwhelm - dropped a few things that were zapping my energy and being much more selective about what I take on now.

RE taking a step towards the direction I want to go - lots of quality sleep and getting back into exercise is going to be essential for me. Used to be a huge gym bunny but with covid I really fell off. Need to make a real effort to regain those endorphins!!

Have you had counselling? I lost my DM in my 20’s and found it hard to figure out what I wanted to say and it was incredibly helpful as most people my age (friends, colleagues) had not experienced it

Re work - can you go part time for a short while? The benefit of even being 4 days a week is that you have one day a week you have to say no - can’t make that meeting etc and getting in a bit of practice that way makes it easier when you are FT (I tried managing my workload etc but always it crept up)

Tiny habits is another useful thing I have come across ... what one small thing can you add into your day and build from there but small

Yes pitterpatterrain, i've been in counselling ever since I lost my parent x

I was working part-time but had a million and one side projects which crept up on me when I wasn't working. So I dropped the job and a few of the side projects.

Currently looking for work now...

Glad to hear that and hope it is helpful

Be kind to yourself - the vast majority of people don’t have amazing routines in place etc and if they do I would imagine Covid is stressing whatever is in place

It’s 100% fine to take time to yourself no matter how hard to carve it out