Ds1 getting a brace privately. Mn previously disagreed.

[Oblomov21]

I don't know why I'm starting this thread. I admit its petty. to feel vindicated?

I have been supported many many times on Mn, through bad times.
But a couple of times, I've been ripped to shreds.
Sometimes people forget what damage can be done by others posting.

I spoke to my mum today about his teeth. She said that if I wasn't so generally tenacious, I wouldn't get results. She has many friends who have been fobbed off by health professionals. Told nothing could be done. and finally found out, often too late, that something could have been done. if that related to fertility and you later found out you could have had children, think how devastating such a thing could be?

my ds1 was bothered by his teeth. they weren't that bad, but a bit gappy and uneven. didn't even qualify as a 1 on the nhs so no chance of a brace.

I kept asking if anything could be done, even privately. was fobbed off again and again.

I started a thread on mn about it. I was ripped to shreds : why are you making him feel bad about it. there's nothing wrong with his teeth.

errr, it's not me. He is bothered by it. I was only trying to be supportive. I left that thread. I might have even asked Mn to delete it.

Now I've finally gone private. He's having a brace fitted next week. But interestingly, the orthodontist, said that there were many small and tiny issues with his teeth. His main 2 had come down a lot further than they should of. And are starting to curl in. And his two incisors next to the main ones, are unfortunately not only very small (as are mine - he gets all the bad bits from me!!), but they haven't come down as far as they should or could. making the appearance even worse.

He said he could push the main 2 up. and bring the 2nd 2 incisors down, and it would be a marginal but significant difference. And also close all his other gaps. He said he thought we'd be happy with the results.

Ds1 has wanted it for years. and us utterly utterly thrilled.

So. It just goes to prove. Even on MN. you can get ripped to shreds.

But all those people were wrong. It wasn't me making him feel bad about his teeth. He wanted something done. And now we are getting it done.

I was right after all.
Do you think I'm wrong for feeling pleased. And a bit 'righteous about it all?

I paid for my own braces as an adult as my dentist refused them when I was younger aide to having slight gaps. I preferred it as it never bothered me till I was an adult and I was able to have the invisible ones and not train tracks

Oblomov: I started a thread on mn about it. I was ripped to shreds : why are you making him feel bad about it. there's nothing wrong with his teeth.

errr, it's not me. He is bothered by it. I was only trying to be supportive. I left that thread. I might have even asked Mn to delete it.
....
Good for you! If your son was self conscious about his teeth of course you were right to do whatever you could to help. I would have done the same.

I wish my parents had been so caring about my teeth! They didn't give a flying F.

Why do you care so much about what a bunch of strangers, who would literally never give your threads a second thought after reading them, think?

Seems odd.

Just do what's right for you and your kids and be confident in your decisions. Don't worry so much about what other people think.

But surely whether an orthodontist practises privately or not, they are still health professionals with a code of conduct and wouldn't be able to suggest that a brace would be beneficial unless this is actually true.

I think some posters just get a kick out of being mean and picking fights. Many don't even hold the opinions they use against others, they just love drama.

I'm glad your DS has a treatment plan and hope it goes well.

@hadesinahalfahell

From someone who has just paid for a brace as an adult as my teeth weren't dealt with properly as a teen, I agree with you.

Yeah this.

You know your child better than any random on the internet. I get what you mean about why'd you'd post and this is what Mumsnet is for, support.
I'm glad your son got his dental work and even though he's private, he wouldn't give your child braces if it wasn't needed. They still follow the same practice as NHS dentists and are subject to regulations.
You've done the right thing

Good for you. Mine wasn't eligible on the NHS and his dentist felt that it was cosmetic rather than medical need so not essential but we are doing it privately, we felt it was better to do it now (teenager) rather than leave it till adulthood.

My eldest didn’t qualify for NHS and we couldn’t have left his teeth but we went privately and he has the most perfect smile. Worth every penny. I think if you have the option then why wouldn’t you do it? Youngest qualified NHS and again, looks amazing. Even if it is mainly cosmetic then doing something when they are young can really help prevent problems when they’re older. My teeth are chipping away because although my teeth look good they aren’t properly aligned and it’s causing problem

Honestly - you've been on here years yes? You know the amount of trolls/ bitchy women on here. Rife with them.

Women supporting women? Err not on here that's for sure

My advice - for what it's worth - would be to have some faith in your own parenting decisions. It doesn't matter what some random women in Manchester thinks about your son's teeth or that some troll in London thinks you're a narc etc

That's the long and short of it - make your own decisions and have faith in them.

Yes Pippa, yuh are right, thanks. I will. I do normally. I will about this.

Good on you. We also went private for my daughter’s braces. Our nhs dentist referred her to the orthodontist over a year ago but warned us she was unlikely to qualify for nhs treatment. Then COVID happened and we were told everything was on hold and referrals wouldn’t even be looked at for another year. Then if she did qualify it would be at least a year until treatment started.

My daughter’s teeth were fine but not perfect and she wanted braces. I looked for a local private orthodontist, had an online consultation in days, a face to face consultation within weeks and braces fitted the next week. I think the price was £2600 but we got a 5% reduction with our blue light card. Worth every penny.