HPV detected

[Mamatoo4]

Hi
So worried. I’m 57 and started a new relationship after my husband died. Just had a cervical smear and been told HPV was found but smear was normal with no cell changes found. Been told no treatment is needed and to go back for repeat smear in 12 months. I’m terrified this will cause ongoing problems. What if my body doesn’t clear the virus?? Also if it is cleared, can it come back? Am I worrying too much?

You are worrying far too much. Have a read of this link

www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/infections-eg-hpv-and-cancer/does-hpv-cause-cancer

Most people (who haven't been vaccinated) will be positive at some point in their life. I was one of the unlucky ones and was diagnosed with carcinoma in situ 8 years ago. I was also HPV positive. Treatment was all done and I am now all well. I went on to have my daughter (although at 57, I would assume that's not an issue for you!) and have yearly smears still.

Please try and relax. Hopefully by your next smear you will be clear.

I've had two smears in a row being HPV positive, with no issues to cells. Not worried. Just had another one done a couple of days ago - hoping I'll have cleared the virus this time round, but again, not worried if I haven't as long as I still have no abnormal cells. I'm 34, been with my husband 7 years,. I've probably had it for ages and it keeps flaring up.

Thank you so much Ramblingsonthego that has made me feel better. I’m just so embarrassed as never had anything more than thrush and can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. Now have to decide whether to end my relationship as I can’t feel the same way about him now.

@Mamatoo4 Why can't you trust him?

@Mamatoo4 sorry just realised you didn't mention trust, why don't you feel the same about your relationship now?

Am I missing something? Do you believe he must have cheated on you or hidden being a carrier? Because your diagnosis isn't an indicator of either scenario. If my partner reacted the way you have I'd be showing him the door as it's a huge red flag!

I've been vaccinated but HPV showed on my last smear test, should have a retest this month, but I'm currently pregnant so will book in for 12 weeks after giving birth. It's common most adults have it once in their life!

I had HPV on my last smear test, it’s very common and as pp have said most non vaccinated women will have it at some point. Are you worried that your new partner may have cheated on you?

I know he hasn’t cheated. I trust him and he’s been so so good to me. He spoils me, looks after me and the children and I believe he loves me. Just disappointed in him and sad that I now have HPV. Not his fault; he’s terribly upset and blames himself but I can’t help how I feel.

You can get HPV from non sexual contact as well. That's why it's so common

healthclinics.superdrug.com/what-is-hpv/

Maybe he'd be better off with someone who isn't disappointed in him, especially when there's no way to know if he unwittingly passed it on. As it can be transmitted by non-sexual contact god forbid he contracts covid!

@Mamatoo4

I know he hasn’t cheated. I trust him and he’s been so so good to me. He spoils me, looks after me and the children and I believe he loves me. Just disappointed in him and sad that I now have HPV. Not his fault; he’s terribly upset and blames himself but I can’t help how I feel.

You could have got HPV from your husband and it’s only just flared up. It’s impossible to prove it’s from your current partner

It's HPV not the clap! And in any case, you can't be sure you got it from him. It can lie dormant for years before flaring up again. They didn't test for it more than about 10-15 years ago so this might not be the first active phase of it for you.

Thank you everyone. You are all saying really sensible things that deep down I know are right. It’s not the clap and the majority do have it at least once. Maybe he does deserve someone who’s not so easily disappointed...but I’ve told him how I feel and he just says he loves me and always will, bless him.

I think you and your partner are way over reacting about this. 8 put of 10 people will have this flare up in their life! It doesn't mean he gave it you, your husband may have given it to you or you may of caught it from just skin to skin contact. You both need to do some reading and if your relationship is ok apart from this, carry on!

Thank you - Yes absolutely right. I have way over reacted. I’m so grateful for everyone’s opinion. Sometimes I can’t see the wood for the trees. The relationship- coming up to 2 years now - is really good to be honest.

I've been with my partner for 15 years. A monogamous relationship.
All smears have come back normal until this year when I've been diagnosed with hpv and cell changes.
It's obviously been laying dormant in my body.
I really think you'd benefit from doing a bit of research about the virus.

I'm shocked you've reacted like that OP, poor man! You could have given it to him for all you know and you're disappointed in him 🤷‍♀️ I had a smear test before Xmas and this is the first time I've ever had it tested for HPV. You could of had this for years without you even knowing and it's not just sexually transmitted - ridiculous! Poor bloke.

@laoehruak I'm glad it's not just me!

Fine, I’m happy to admit when I’m in the wrong and I obviously am and I’ve given him a hard time over it but I think I’ve been suitably admonished x

I understand where you are coming from. But your reaction (like mine was when I realised I had HPV) comes from a lack of information.
It’s best not to think about it as a sexually transmitted disease in a way. It can be passed on so easily and there is no way of preotecting yourself from it. It’s a virus, like millions of others, and unless you are vaccinated you will contract it at some point.
Most of the time your body will just shift it over time. Before such regular smears and easier HPV testing you would never have even known you had it.
For some people their bodies can’t shift it and it can lead to problems but for most it’s just part and parcel of life.
I had it for 2-3 years. I also had abnormal smears during this time. But they stayed within range of just ‘abnormal’ and 2-3 years later everything cleared up.

I really hope once the shock passes you can put it in perspective. It will most most likely be fine and no one is blame.

If it makes you feel better, 80% of people who are sexually active have HPV. There are over 200 strains.

It's just that their immune system clears it when it's not dormant. With any lapse in immunity including age (over 35) it can be detected. It can lay dormant for decades.

It's very very common. And today the NHS is good at detecting it and monitoring. You are in good hands, but don't miss your check ups.

Just seen your latest update.
I hope my message doesn’t add to you feeling admonished!
I meant my message to be supportive. I hope you are feeling ok.

I think I can understand where the OP is coming from. When you have been in a monogamous relationship for years and years, stuff like this can be scary and associated with feelings of shame and disgust. I know it shouldn’t, as everyone has said this is a super normal virus to have, (I’ve had it too!) but I can understand why she feels how she feels.

The good news is OP is that it mostly causes no problems and also that your new DP sounds like a keeper. Well done finding a second lot of happiness. Don’t let unwarranted guilt spoil it for you, it’s just a virus.

Thank you very much everyone. That has made me feel so much better. It was the initial shock and then thinking about what it could mean for me if it doesn’t clear up - that was scary but I’m hopeful that it will be fine. I suppose the fact that no abnormal cell changes were found is good news?? Right I’m off to make amends with my long suffering partner. xx