Hysterectomy decision

[fucksanta1]

Hi all
I suffer horrifically from heavy periods- I flood I go through so many sanitary products in a day, currently sitting on an incontinance pad, pain dreadful. I had to take it to sit on to my family's home yesterday. It's embarrassing
I have bipolar which is affected badly by hormones so I can't have any sort of hormonal contraceptives. I had the copper coil which a year ago was removed in hope it would help which it hasn't. I'm anaemia from blood loss
Medications have not helped. Its absolutely debilitating and affecting my life. I had a lap surgery which found nothing bar adhesions from c sections which were removed.
My issue is we would maybe like a third child although this isn't something we want to happen for a few years or even something set in stone. The Consultant has said the only thing now to do is to have a partial hysterectomy to remove my womb.
I'm absolutely torn between improving my quality of life and still having the ability to have children. I'm not sure at the age of 33 I'm happy to say that I can have this- if I was ten years older of course I would.
Has anyone else experienced this? Thanks

Have you the finances to afford private acupuncture? £50-60 a session in my area. Sorted my hormones right out.

Acupuncture has a good track record with women’s things.

The main thing is the heavy bleeding and the impact on my life and health.

Hormones wise it's an interesting idea acupuncture but it won't solve my main issue. Unfortunately having bipolar means my mental health and the large amounts of medications I take is really complex. I'm interested though I'm looking into it more so thanks

I think you and your dp need to have an in depth, honest discussion about this potential third dc.

Firstly, you both need to have a deep think about the degree to which you each want a third child - try picturing yourselves, 5-10 years from now, with that third child, and without it. What do those lives look like? What are the joys and challenges of each?

And secondly, what would need to happen before you would be ready to have a potential third child - is it getting into a better financial position? A certain career progression? Moving to a new area/bigger house? Older kids at primary/secondary school?

If you come to the conclusion that a third child is something you really want, of the factors currently preventing you from taking that step, can any of them be accelerated? Or can any be delayed until after the arrival of a third dc? E.g. If it’s an issue of house size, is there a way you could make it work in your current house with three kids?

None of this is ideal, obviously - but some families do have to speed up decisions about having dc for medical reasons.

Maybe it’s a case of having that third child earlier than planned, so that you can get the medical care you need in order to be the best mum to all your kids?

E.g. I know a woman who had to have her colon removed due to ulcerative colitis, and as a result has a temporary ileostomy (this means that she still has a rectum, although it isn’t currently in use...)

You can’t have a temporary ileostomy forever, as it increases your cancer risk, but the operation to create a permanent stoma drastically reduces fertility.

She therefore has to ‘complete her family’ (in medical speak) at a younger age than she probably would have, so that she can have the second operation that she needs.

I've had a hysterectomy but I was finished having children. It was the best decision for my health both physically and mentally.
I was having really heavy periods that lasted 6 months. Heavy flow none stop, huge clots, constant flooding and not being able to sleep longer than a few hours.
You need to speak to your DP about the potential of a third child sooner rather than later or having a hysterectomy for your health.

There is a condition adenomyosis, read around that, as I know it goes hand in hand with endometriosis, so hopefully in the lap they looked for signs of endometriosis.

There are procedures you can have that remove some of the lining of the womb to give relief from symptoms, I cant recall the medical term but that removal gives relief for a few years. Almost like a clean up, please explore these options with the GP and consultants before a hysterectomy.

Also anything period related please take a partner, or friend to your appointment as there is awful medical gaslighting that goes on with women's health and especially around periods. Pain and bleeding as youve described shouldn't be put up with it can be signs of all kinds of issues and needs fully exploring, removing your uterus is the last option.

Hope that help, you have my full sympathy it's miserable.

Ohhh this is awful! I have very similar periods and it’s horrible. Even as a teenager I would have been tempted to have an hysterectomy if it wasn’t for wanting kids so I know where you are coming from.

If you really want that 3rd child I would start trying as soon as possible (whatever is your need whether it be money / career level etc) to get the hysterectomy as soon as possible.

I wouldn’t wait a few years for a 3rd child if possible. Unless you think you can mentally cope with the periods for that long?

That’s horrendous. Similar experience here - was awful in work etc and eventually I had an endometrial ablation which worked brilliantly. I had my third child (fourth pregnancy) at 38 though so had to endure until then. You absolutely must have finished your family before you have it. I’d had three c sections with scarring and adenomyosis so was worried I couldn’t have it but it was honestly life changing.

I had this done at 39 for exactly the same reasons. The immediate relief and better quality of life was fantastic.
But my biggest regret was not having a third child before it. That is why I waited until then as I knew I did not want to be pregnant any older than that.
Unfortunately , you need to be prepared to continue to suffer until you make your decision for certain.

OP acupuncture can do all sorts of things that we who are used to western medicine don’t realise.

In China they do open heart surgery with no anaesthetic, just acupuncture. The patient is awake the whole time. I find that astounding. Granted the needles are wired to electric current to give them a boost but still, open heart surgery!

So please look into it. There only is one professional body for acupuncture in the U.K., pick a few local therapists from the list and give them a phone to see if they have done any post grad work on women’s hormone treatments etc.

People are scared to try things like acupuncture and write it off but I know that it sorted my periods right out so I know from experience it’s possible.

PS I wouldn’t take acupuncture from a gp or someone who has ‘taken a short course’ though, only a proper, registered acupuncturist who does it full time and therefore is experienced in all aspects of it more than a gp using it once in a blue moon would be.

I agree absolutely- if we could have another baby we would but I just don't see how it's possible- we need a bigger house. Equally I'm not sure how much longer I can continue I've just had to take co codamol again today x

Please dont base your decision on things like a bigger house . A child does need shelter , food, clothes but a loving family is the most important thing. I was talked into the not being able to afford it arguement and it is my biggest regret.

Really tough when the rest of the family is dead against us having another one as we live in a two bedded house. We are proud we own our house but money is always tight. We work full time both of us and I wish we had more to show for our hard work. The kids do guides/Cubs (both) swimming (son), football (son) horse riding (daughter). We do our best to ensure that they get to do these but of course it's a financial drain
I still can't imagine not having a third baby, but would it be fair to bring to such a small house?
Their bedroom is divided into two. We will prob give up our room in the next year and sleep on sofa bed.
So hard these decisions

In the meantime while you consider your options you could start putting away a sum that you think another child would cost per week/month.

If you can’t afford to do that then you can’t afford another child unless your circs change.

Hello lovely ladies this has probably been discussed to death here so apologies but could really do with some reassurance or advice. My appointment for my total hysterectomy has finally come through and now I’m imagining all the possible things that could go wrong 😑 like a prolapse afterwards, wetting myself, not regaining my libido. I know I’m lucky being offered the surgery , I really do , but I’m almost talking myself into not having it done. Has anyone had a successful total hysterectomy? I’m 50 and need the surgery due to ongoing heavy bleeding that the coil hasn’t resolved. I have to have abdominal surgery due to enlarged cervix. I’m peri menopausal now but no HRT yet. Any reassurance or honest feedback as to how you found the hysterectomy would really help. I’ve googled to death and one site hystersisters scared the life out of me! Thanks everyone, big hugs 🤗