Cancer support thread #77 - newbies welcome

[InOtterNews]

I couldn't see new thread so here we go...

Welcome friends old and new, to the most supportive thread on Mumsnet. Everyone is welcome whatever stage you're at (fears, diagnosis, treatment). Introduce yourself and say Hi

Good luck to everyone having treatment this week. Hugs to all - especially if you're feeling rubbish (physically, mentally, or waiting for results - ugh)

@MrsPnut very positive news. 😀

@Lizdeflores fabulous news. 😅

@HenryHorse1 you're story gives us hope and inspiration thank you 😊

@Lubballoo if chemo doesn't shrink my tumour I will be having a mastectomy.

Having a Chinese tonight, round 3 of my first cycle tomorrow. It's suddenly going really quickly.

I shall be having a wine tonight, I might even venture downstairs instead of being in bed.

@HumphreysCorner good luck with the chemo tomorrow.

@Starmer I'm with you with the home school I never thought I'd be going back to school at 50! Thank God it's Friday tomorrow .

@HumphreysCorner I have never had a tattoo but love your pirate idea. That'll definitely give you something to look forward too.

@MrsPnut and @Lizdeflores no evidence of cancer sounds like great news. Have a nice celebration tonight.

@Starmer I'm with you on homeschooling. I'm doing it from bed and it is slowly taking my soul!

Was at the hospital all day with a suspected blood clot. Glad to report it's fine, I'm just healing funny. But I did have a good laugh. My surgery was keyhole (I reiterate that 23 staples doesn't feel like keyhole but hey) and was in my abdomen. Dr is listening to my chest from the back and comments that the surgeon must have been amazing as you can't even see the scars. My surgery was 2.5 weeks ago. I pointed out he might like to look at the front. He was a bit embarrassed but I was cheered up!

@MrsPnut and @Lizdeflores fabulous news! Thrilled for you both!

@HumphreysCorner that's how my hair started last Saturday. It has been shedding more each day since then. I trimmed it myself a couple of days ago but DD did a much closer cut all over today and it feels loads better. I had the constant feeling of having a ponytail pulling on it all over and my scalp was so itchy. DD (25) found the experience much more traumatising than me - this is the first obvious sign of my cancer and it upsets her. I am just pleased that this side effect doesn't hurt and now I've got my scarves in place I feel prepared.

Sending love to all xxx

@seizethecuttlefish that made me laugh too!

Now my hair is growing back I have a selection of AnnaBandana and other turbans as well as a couple of Limbo PICC covers for the shower and coloured PICC covers to wear on the upper arm. If anybody wants a selection free let me know by Personal message with an address and I will post them. I seem to have gone over to bobble hats and beanies instead.
I was grumbling in a Zoom meeting to my male friends about how cold my head is and they laughed as I have more hair than all of them. It’s still like a Brillo pad though.
I had a wobble yesterday about how weak and broken I am. I still can’t get up off the floor without a struggle and am finding the physio exhausting. I think I am afraid that if I fail to get my fitness back I will will have to give up all my hobbies and change my life. It certainly motivates me. I can relate to what @BitOfFun was saying about grieving for your old self.
Love to all on this cold wet and blowy day, at least it is here!
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Hello there,

Can I join you lot please?

I have been referred to the breast clinic as I have two lumps in my left breast. One is big and squishy, the other is behind it and is the size of a pea and hard. I have my appointment for Friday morning.

I’m swinging mentally swinging between “it’s ok, could be nothing” to planning my own funeral

I am a single parent to 3DC (they have no contact with father), the oldest is 14 and the youngest is 9. I’m feeling very scared for them right now. Luckily my mum is still around but she’s late 60s.

Any wise words to get me off the ceiling? This is driving me mad!

Many thanks

@BlueSkyAhead Welcome to the group no-one wants to join. Pull up a chair and we’ll hold your hand while you wait.

The staff at the breast clinic were lovely when I had to visit and the experience was nowhere near as bad as I feared it would be.

Thank you @MrsPnut 😊

The wait is agonising 😟

I have a less than a week to go so hopefully it will fly by. Just want to know what I’m dealing with so I can plan accordingly.

You guys seem like a great bunch who have a good laugh along the way.

Thank you

The stuff that goes through your head is unreal

I know, I was told I had cancer at my colposcopy appointment by a gynae consultant. I was not told in a very sensitive manner and was sent off to radiology to book a CT scan without any paperwork and I was in floods of tears.

The breast clinic were really sensitive about telling me, but by that point I knew it was coming so was very calm.

The very worst part is the waiting for appointments, test results and treatment plans etc.

Welcome @BlueSkyAhead, the waiting is so hard, in many ways the hardest part in fact. Exactly as @MrsPnut says! And I too found the staff at the breast clinic were/are great. They will look after you. Post as much as you like if it helps! I won't quote all the good, reassuring stats at you (though they exist and they're good!), because they didn't really help with my own "what if..." thoughts but I will say that taking a day/hour/minute/second, as necessary, at time was good advice for me, as well as recognising that knowledge is power when it comes to our bodies. And if you can't stop imagining the worst then, for what it's worth and in case it helps, I have been amazed a. What it's possible to cope with and b. What amazing treatments and people there are to help.

Thank you @MrsPnut and @Lubballoo

Do you guys know whether they tell you at your first appointment whether you have cancer or not? Or, if not, whether, in their experience it’s likely or not?

Welcome @BlueSkyAhead, the waiting is the worst part. For me, uncertainty let's me fill in the blanks in the worst way. No experience of breast cancer but happy to be here to listen.

Hello @BlueSkyAhead! Welcome to the thread, although I am sorry you have to be here. I joined last autumn and have found it a great comfort.

I have so much sympathy about the waiting - for various reasons, it took weeks to get a proper diagnosis for me, and it was definitely the most agonising part. I'm being treated for breast cancer, and my experience was that at first everyone kept saying that it was "probably nothing". Then, at my second biopsy, the nurses advised that I didn't go away on holiday the following week, and there was a definite change of tone - I sort of sensed that things probably weren't right. So I think they do try to lay groundwork to prepare you a bit. I certainly wasn't surprised when they finally told me it was cancer. What, if anything, has been said to you so far?

I was also most worried about how this would all affect DS, but he has proved more resilient than I expected. It is a shitty, shitty time, and obviously everyone's experience is different, but I am starting to believe that I can do this and get through it. If you have any questions about anything I'm more than happy to answer, as I' sure are the other brilliant posters.

I was told at my first appointment that what they could see on the scan was "very concerning". They did a biopsy and couldn't be sure until the results were back from that which took another 9 days. But I asked lots of questions at that first appointment and it was clear to me that they thought it was cancer from the scans. It was also clear that if caught early breast cancer is curable and in all events treatable and in fact if at an early stage can be treated effectively without necessarily even needing a mastectomy (ok, not in my case it turns out but still) which was news to me. When the cancer was confirmed they were ready with a treatment plan there and then.

Ok i am going to quote stats now, I believe 9 out of 10 lumps are not cancer, so that is most likely the news you get at the clinic, but if not then in my experience there will be a bit of a further wait and then, if cancer is confirmed, they will roll out the big guns, so to speak, treatment wise, including very likely a specialist nurse to help look after you.

My kids are 9 and 11 and, as with Albert, I've found they've been amazingly resilient.

@BlueSkyAhead here's hoping you're not with us long! In my case, when I had my biopsies, although I wouldn't get the results for a week the dr was absolutely sure it was cancer and was clear about that. So seems there's quite a variation - so be prepared to hear something on the day but probably you'll need to wait for the biopsy results.

Waiting on all the tests is tough - but let's get this first one down first as that may be your last!

Hello @BlueSkyAhead and welcome to the thread you don’t want to be on! The best advice I was given was Don’t Google! You will terrify yourself. Just stick to NHS sites or Macmillan or Breast Cancer Care or ask us. The internet is full of outdated doom and gloom.
I found it helped to keep busy, tidy up, de clutter and I weeded my whole allotment.
I hope your stay here is short and sweet

I’ve been amusing myself with my physio exercises. Today’s special is to walk like a crab backwards and forwards. I am so unfit and weak and have such a long way to go to get back to normal. I broke my ankle half way through chemotherapy and was non weight bearing for 6 weeks and now have an arm I can’t use since the lymph node clearance. Sigh...
It does seem a mountain to climb at the moment.

@AlbertCampion I am glad you are feeling more positive. It’s definitely one small step at a time towards the goal. I need to take my own advice. One small step sideways in my case!
Love and strength to all xx
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Top I feel the same and also feel weak and broken. All I seem able to do is lie on the bed or sofa, in pain and/or feeling exhausted and it is getting me down. I can relate to BOF and am grieving the old me and wish I had appreciated my good health when I had it.

@BlueSkyAhead welcome to the group no-one wants to join but also the nicest ladies on MN are here. I have ovarian cancer and was told at my initial gynae appointment that it was 'almost certainly malignant' in a very matter of fact sort of way. At this point I had had a CT scan due to a haematology appointment so they had more information at this point than perhaps is usual. There then followed an agonising wait of two months, second opinions and endless MDTs culminating in telling me when I was alone in hospital (having fluid from my abdomen drained) that is 'was indeed cancer'. No bedside manner at all, he may as well have been telling me I had a bit of dry skin. I have a friend who has much experience with the BC clinic and she reports a much more sensitive and kind manner in all the staff. It really is true that once you know what you are dealing with, it all will be a lot easier. Then you can plan and eliminate 'what if this happens' from your mind. We will hold your hand here as long as you need us to xxx

*BlueSkyAhead - I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At my very first appointment, the mammogram showed something the consultant was concerned over, and thought was probably cancer. When I went for ultrasound and biopsies 2 days later, they said there that they couldn't be sure it was cancer, but would be amazed if it wasn't. I did ask them for an honest opinion though, and they did say it wasn't definite until they got the biopsy results. Even knowing this, I have to say it was still a shock to be told - even now, I can't quite believe it was cancer. It seems unreal and like it's happening to someone else.

The entire team who treated me (oncologist at The Christie and surgeon at Wythenshawe) plus my breast care nurse were fantastic. They helped me and my husband with how to tell our 6 year old, and supported me right through treatment.

I hope you don't need to be with is for long, but please know that this group is one of the most supportive group of women ever! Someone is always around to moan, cry or rant to, and between us, we have a wealth of experience that will see you through treatment, if you need it. Best of luck on Friday.

On Tuesday I had a second operation for breast cancer. I'm getting the results for the next part of my treatment on Friday.
This will decide if I need chemo or just radiotherapy and hormone tablets.
Since coming home all I seem to do is cry and I don't know what I'm crying about. Today I went for a very short walk and cried going around the corner.
My appetite has disappeared. DH ordered a Chinese for tonight(my favourite) and I only ate a few forkfuls. The rest has gone in the freezer.
I'm also so very tired. Yet I sleep well in the night.
My poor DH doesn't know how to help me.

Newbie here, can I join you?
On Friday I see my consultant to get my treatment plan. I have had a lot of biopsies and an MRI with the cod liver oil capsules taped to my nipples. I have invasive lobular cancer in my left breast, with an additional area of calcifications that have been recently biopsied to check for ductal carcinoma. So, on Friday I get the results of the recent biopsy and find out my treatment plan for the ILC. Can anyone tell me,

Posted too soon
Can anyone tell me if I will be offered treatment options and asked for my opinion? It's all happening so quickly and I'll be on my own because of Covid restrictions. I am thinking I may be advised to have a mastectomy? I suppose I am just trying to prepare myself
@Noidea2114 I'll be thinking of you on Friday
Any advice very gratefully received, what is it like when you meet your surgeon for a treatment plan?

Hello @Livelongandprosper - welcome to the thread!

The first consultant I saw was surgical, and he had a firm idea about what was needed. He advised me to go for a lumpectomy rather than mastectomy, but I guess if I had pushed back on that he would have discussed it further with me. My experience was that he wanted to do as little as possible and leave me with as much as possible - to the extent that I actually ended up having two ops because they didn't get it all first time round.

The second consultant I saw was a chemo specialist, and this did involve a lot more discussion about treatment options. He used a program called "Predict" where he put in all my data and it spewed out probabilities of five-year survival according to different treatment options. I then had to decide which I preferred. I actually found this worse - I would rather have just been told which was the best option! But I think everyone responds differently.

Is there anything which is concerning you in particular about the treatment options? It can all seem very daunting at first.