DD2 is having an operation - need tips for what to take/how to cope...

[PurpleLostPrincess]

Hello,

Its a long story but DD2 was born without a hole to poo out of. She's already had a colostomy at 3 days old and we spent a week on S'ton neonatal unit (they are fab there btw!).

She's scheduled for an 'anoplasty' on 7th November and we've been told we'll be staying in for about 5 days/1 week, depending on how well she recovers. She will be about 9 weeks old.

I just thought I'd see if anybody has any tips on what to take with me as it was all a bit of a rush/blur before and this time I've got time to shit myself prepare.

I thought I'd take the laptop and re-watch the whole of LOST right from season 1 LOL. But on a more practical note, I'm not sure how many clothes to pack for her, whether or not to take the steriliser etc.

Also, any tips on coping would be great! My family and friends are fantastic but I'm not very good at asking for emotional help when its needed. DH will be taking care of DS and DD1 at home the whole time (S'ton is 30 miles away from us so I'm staying over with DD2).

I know I'll miss mn!

Thanks in advance, PLP xxx

Sorry to hear you are facing this - not nice having little ones operated on - but i guess you are very happy that they are able to reverse the colostomy.

You should have a pre-admission appointment, at which you can ask all the qusetions about sterilising etc - and they should show you around the children's ward, parents room, day room etc. I remember when DS was in hospital they had a cold water (milton) steriliser only for parents use, I think. Ask whether you need to take your own nappies. We had to.

Unless you get a single room, there will be hardly any space for any personal posessions, ime. But take dressing gown, flip flops for showwer and walking around at night, and a few basic clothes for your DD - ones that are very easy to get on and off.

Take money..and why not take your Christmas cards to write?

Have a good look round at the facilities in the hospital - what food is available in the canteens and cafes. When DS was in, they only provided free meals for accompanying mothers if they were breastfeeding! The prospect of a nurse bearing down on me with a plate of NHS carrots and chips bemaing 'nursing mothers, that's what we like, eat this' was almost enough for me to switch 100% to bottle immediately! But check whether they will feed you. Take ear plugs and an eye mask, unless you are the person who can fall asleep in the full sound and lights experience of a hospital at night! You never know -the cafe might have wi fi, so you might get some MN-ing in!

Can you have someone with you whilst the operation is taking place? It's a very very hard moment, leaving your baby unconscious on the trolley.

Good luck.

what blu says, plus some things i found:

my ds developed a nasty looking rash after his operation which worried me, but i was told it often happens due to a reaction to some of the treatments.

also, i imagined he had been affected by the aneasthetic because he was listless and unresponsive for about 3 to four hours, but it was just the aneasthetic and he was fine! i suppose what i'm trying to say is that it is so emotionally charged that it can be difficult to not panic. it's good to have someone with you before the operation, when the baby cannot have any fluids, during and the day following.

good luck

Hello PLP

Hope it all goes OK. Be careful with your laptop in the hossie - sadly things do tend to go 'astray'. My number one tip is to take a pillow for yourself; they're like gold-dust in NHS hospitals.

As Blu says the most difficult part is leaving them in theatre so it's good to have some support at that point. If you can tear yourself away from the hospital and get out for a walk whilst she's in theatre the time will pass more quickly.

Good luck.

hello fellow princess

My DS had an operation in S'ton 3 years ago and it all went well. The staff were lovely if a little busy! The first day we went in they had to cancel the operation because an operation took longer than expected and we were last on the list for the day. But at least it gave us a feel for the place before having to go back in. Have you been in there to have a look around?

No tips for what to bring. From what I remember they have shops there in case you need anything. The ward DS was on had TVs that you could use by the beds so you may be able to take your own videos or dvd's.

One tip though. They let me in to the anaesthetising (sp) room with him where they put the mask over his face. That WAS very distressing, seeing him fight them and then just slip in to sleep. I will never forget that. However I am glad that I was there with him. You don't have to go in but if you do, prepare yourself mentally in advance for it.

Hope it all goes really well. Kind thoughts.

If you can find out if there will be parent's accomodation available it will mean you've a better idea what to bring. If you won't have any space other than a bed beside your dd then don't bring anything you have to mind, whereas if you have a room available to you you will have somewhere secure to leave your stuff.

You will probably be more relaxed just wearing t-shirts and tracksuit type pants rather than pjs because even in the middle of the night you may be up dealing with your dd, and it's hard to feel confident chatting to doctors/nurses while you are in pyjamas! Also you can wear them in the day too.(less to bring).

Hospitals are very dry so bring moisturiser if you have dry skin.
Food isn't always available when you want it, so bring some cereal bars and juices with you.
Good luck

yes, re the aneasthetic - your DD is very young so won't be as conscioulsy 'anti' the aneasthetic as an older child. And they might give the aneasthetic directly through a canuyla in her hand or foot. If they do use the mask first (because it can be hard to find a vein for a canula in small chiuldren and they sometimes leave all that to after the child is unconscious) remember that the more she struggles, the quicker the gas will take effect because of the energy she uses. And, hard as it is it takes less than ten seconds. So grit your teeth and rmember that.

Children, ime, sail through all this, leaving thier parents as nervous wrecks.

Good post Blu. It must have been ever so quick but it felt like the longest 10 seconds of my life at the time!

I second that - grit your teeth!

DS has had 4 GAs so far....and, yes, the 10 seconds last for ever...but the staff are usually very very good.

You will be ok, Purple. And it' ok to leave the aneasthetci room crying, everyone does.

Thanks everbody, really appreciate your tips. I'm assuming I will get a letter confirming the date soon. I had no idea they show you around beforehand and hope that happens in this case.

My mum will probably be with me/us for the actual operation - last time it was the middle of the night and mum stayed with me all night. I'm reasonably familiar with the hospital itself but not the particular ward she'll be on.

Thankyou princess, I'm glad you said that so I can prepare myself. Last time it was all in an emergency and she was already very very ill before going under. The anaesthetist (sp) was lovely and took me through everything. By this point, she had canulars attached to pretty much every limb or at least it seemed like it, but I've seen her all hooked up now so at least I'm kind of prepared for it. Then again, I'm hoping it won't bring back all the memories!

I think she continued to be on the morphene for about 12 hours afterwards and then just paracetamol for 24 hours or so, so I guess it'll be the same this time...

I'll make a note to myself to take a pillow, glad you mentioned that smbk!

I'm popping up there tomorrow for DD2's flush out so I might ask the surgical nurse about accomodation as I think its different in the main hospital from the neonatal...

Thank you all again xx

they normally have a steriliser on the ward for each child.

I took a nursing pillow, which was very comfy for sleeping, feeding and just sitting on the bed! and my own blanket which somehow just felt better than having a hospital one. Would also recommend taking lots of chocolate and a large bottle of water. See if you can get someone (your mum?) to stay with dd for an hour or so while you go off and have a break from the ward.

Suggest you take babygros that open down the front for dd - ds was in SCBU for a while and these were the easiest things to get wires/tubes in and out of.

Second everything people said about the ga, it was horrible and leaving ds unconsious was even worse - blu, I was certainly crying! They only let one parent in for the ga but dh was just outside in a waiting room when I came out as a quivering heap.

Good luck and I hope everything goes well for your dd.

So sorry you're having to go through this. Was going to post about how distressing it can be to see them go under, but see that someone else has written that and also you've been there before. Definitely take some things to try to distract you. Writing Christmas cards is a good one, will save you a job when you get home. Also pen and paper to do some meal planning/Christmas present lists etc. Although probably the last thing you'll feel like, take some pampering stuff for yourself (emery boards, tweezers, mirror, nice smellies, facial hair bleach etc etc) so that while you are waiting for the operation to be over/while DD is sleeping, you can do some personal stuff that will make you feel better and that you will no doubt neglect the rest of the time. Might sound self-indulgent and trivial given what your DD is going through, but look on it as helping you pass the time and making you more organised/feel better to face the recovery period.

Just thought I'd say thank you again for all your messages of encouragement.

Things didn't go quite as planned - she ended up having emergency heart surgery last Tuesday morning !!! Its a long story but she is so much better now and we're home - at least we were semi-prepared for a week away, even if it was a couple of days beforehand. Not sure when the anoplasty will be but I'll find out soon.

I have to say that the nurses and doctors who work on the Cardiology ward in Southampton are amazing and although it was very hard to be away from home for a week, they made it like a second home. I stayed in a 'parents room' with a couple of other mums just down the corridor from the ward and we had our own bathroom.

It occurred to me that others might read this post who are in a similar situation so I thought I'd add that its always worth asking if your child will be put on a ventilator. This was something that was mentioned but it was all a bit dramatic and I hadn't taken it in. Seeing my baby on a ventilator was possibly the most harrowing thing I have ever witnessed in my life. She couldn't cry or cough and at one point she was really sick which frightened the life out of me. Her face looked distorted where its stuck on with all the plasters - my nurse friend said this is the case with all people big and small. We're home now (within a week!) but I'm still haunted by it and can't bear to look at the pictures I took which isn't like me.

Also, starving her for 6 hours wasn't fun. She wasn't allowed much milk afterwards either but I think that was because she had so much fluid on her lungs prior to the surgery and they were controlling her fluids carefully so that might not be a normal thing - hard work to say the least when you've got a hungry baby on your hands!

Thankfully, they gave me the option of going in while she was being put under or not - I opted out as I was already in a state!

I ended up taking the laptop and watching DVD's on it with headphones next to DD2's cot/bed in the ward - its worth noting that you can only use sealed plugs as everything has to be safety checked. I also did my nails!

Better go - she's waking up for another feed as she's making up for lost time!