Sleep problems

[Stygimoloch]

I’m hoping someone has some magic advice to help me with me sleep problems, even if it’s only how to deal with the effects so that my life doesn’t feel so half lived right now.

During April, May time I started having nights when I couldn’t sleep. I don’t just mean I had trouble dropping off, I mean that I didn’t sleep at all. I would not shut my eyes all night. It was miserable.

I started taking magnesium supplements, I bought some melatonin online. Things got better. I’d still have the odd night, but it was maybe once a month or so.

Now the sleeplessness has come back with a vengeance. In the last week, I’ve had 4 nights when I haven’t closed my eyes at all. I don’t know what is happening to me but it’s tuned me into an anxious zombie.

I’ve always been a good sleeper previous to this and loved bedtime. Now I dread night times. I’m almost afraid to go to bed because of how distressed I get when I can’t sleep.

I feel like an utter baby but I’m really struggling to cope. I think a huge part of my problem is my reaction to not sleeping. I go into full on panic mode.

Has anyone had similar? I’m 42 so wondering if it’s due to peri menopause? I’m also a secondary school teacher and stressed out of my mind right now so that may well be part of it.

After a night of no sleeping, I spend the day miserable and anxious, dreading nighttime. As I said, my reaction is almost worse than the sleeplessness.

I’ve tried mindfulness and sleep apps and they haven’t really worked. I just can’t get out of the panicked mindset as I lie there with time ticking away until morning.

Can anyone relate/help?

I'm so glad I found this, I'm experiencing the exact same thing.
Used to love escaping in sleep and dreaming now it's become an utter misery, also dread it!
Feel really anxious and barely able to function.. I wish I could give you some remedies but I'm still looking for then myself... I'm thinking of trying CBD oil, have you tried that?
I'm 34 btw.
So sorry you're suffering too xxx

@Magic1231 thanks for replying and I’m sorry you are suffering too. It’s absolutely miserable. I slept great last night because I was so tired from zero sleep the night before. I’ve felt positive for most of the day but now nighttime is approaching, my anxiety is really starting to rise.

I haven’t tried CBD oil. I hadn’t heard of its use as a sleep aid but having just quickly googled it, it looks fairly promising! I’m going to order some. I’ll try anything. Thanks for the suggestion.

Have you tried any breathing exercises? I was really skeptical because I've suffered sleep anxiety on and off for years, but found yoga breathing really helpful. in for count of 4, hold for 7 and exhale for eight counts through your nose. Anything to calm down the nervous system arousal helps. Hope this helps.

@Austin7 thank you! I’ll definitely give it a go. My reaction when I can’t sleep is really extreme. I properly panic and I don’t usually react this way in other situations. Any way of calming myself down has to help.

@austin7 Ahhh thanks for the tip I was considering giving yoga a whirl. That's it isnt it, once the nervous system is triggered it becomes a vicious cycle x

@stygimoloch well that's promising you got a good night last night...
Yeah the CBD oil does look promising doesnt it... I'm about to dose up on karms in a bit, the night time anxiety has well and truely set in sigh x

I was like this the beginning on lockdown1... I thought it was that ( change of routine etc) I saw on IG adverts a muscle mat, the reviews were it really helped with sleep, so I brought the mat and pillow, it takes some getting used to but I can honestly say I have never had such a good night sleep every night since. 20 mins per night minimum now I am used to it I often fall asleep on it, but as soon as I get off I am super sleepy and asleep within minutes and sleep right through. It is honestly the best purchase I have made in a long time! X

I had a very similar experience at the start of lockdown. I'd never been a very good sleeper but suddenly started being unable to sleep at all. This made me feel incredibly unwell in the day and horrendously anxious. This fed into a cycle of anxiety around sleep and then I wouldn't sleep again the next night. It was so awful! I recall posting on here in desperation.

I don't think there's any easy fix, or a fix that will suit everyone. I spend £££ trying different things. Some things that worked for me:

An open and frank conversation with a trusted GP and a short course of zopliclone and diazepam. I was reluctant to take medication as I never had before, but it was necessary in the end to help me 'reset' and the only foolproof option.

Acupressure mat (described above) helps with relaxation.

A course of counselling that I funded privately to address low level anxiety issues that exploded under the pressure of work stress. I am in a similar role to you. This was hugely beneficial.

Journalling each day. Thinking of 3 positive things. Reassuring myself in writing that I would not die of tiredness, would sleep eventually etc. It seemed to help

I also tried a weighted blanket which was costly and didn't work for me, but does for many others.

Sorry for the essay; I hope you find something in this to help/reassure you! Medication was the most central component without doubt!

Hi @Stygimoloch 👋 Seasoned insomniac here! I hope I can give you some useful advice.

It sounds like what is keeping you awake now isn’t so much your wired brain (which breathing exercises,Yoga, meditation, getting more comfortable and relaxed etc will all help with) but the panic that ensues when you just know you aren’t going to sleep tonight. The panic about how awful tomorrow is going to be and all the dreadful things that are going to happen is completely at odds with sleeping and I think if you can tackle that, it will at least quieten your physiology (faster heart rate, quicker breathing etc etc) enough to use the other things like breathing/ meditation/ sleep stories to quieten your mind, which in turn should lead to better sleep.

I have managed to get rid of the panic in two ways over the years. One was hypnotherapy. Sounds a bit woo woo but it did help me switch of the panic and was basically more taking therapy than anything else. Unfortunately it isn’t a cheap option.

The other way for me was medication. I was a bit stressed about starting down that road but a low dose anti-depressant with a sedative effect really worked for me for a period of time. I found I just couldn’t panic after I took it and after a while, it was as if I’d kind of re-trained my brain.

Once you have that under control, I think all the other things you probably know about and that are mentioned on this thread stand a better chance of working.

Best of luck! It really is miserable but the good thing is that it is temporary and you WILL get through this period of time.

Basically exactly the same as @jacquettalux ! So odd to see identical experiences. At the time, when you are utterly consumed by it, insomnia seems a very lonely place.

@jacquettalux and @PARunnerGirl thank you both so much for taking the time to reply with such helpful advice.

I did get some ziplocone from the doctor. 10 tablets. This was back in April. I have 3 left. I only take them in complete desperation - like at 2am in the morning when I know I won’t sleep. I know this is the wrong way to use them but I just completely panic. I hate the way they make me feel but psychologically they help because at least I’ve had some sleep.

I think the journaling sounds interesting. I honestly need to repeat that I won’t die from lack of sleep! In the dark hours of the morning I think I could be convinced that I might!

I think you’re absolutely right that it’s the fear of staying awake that is now causing the wakefulness. I’ve tried hypnotherapy for other issues and found it useful so I’m willing to give it a go.

I think a doctor’s appointment is needed as medication does seem like it has a place.

Thank you all again. I really appreciate it and although I’m sorry others are suffering, it’s nice that I’m not alone. It can feel like a very lonely place when the rest of the world seems fast asleep.

How is your sleep hygiene, OP?

I didn't understand you saying you didn't close your eyes. I mean, you don't have to be asleep to close eyes.

@yeOldeTrout I suppose I just meant it as in I didn’t sleep at all. I did close my eyes but didn’t sleep. It’s a saying my mom used to say when she couldn’t sleep: I didn’t shut my eyes all night.

I read quite a lot about sleep hygiene when this happened in April/May and I seem to be doing most things right in that regard.

It went away for a few months but is back now.

Have u tried white noise...I use it for our little boy but it's ment to help adults to xx

My sleep problems aren't as bad as yours but I find if I'm struggling to sleep - or get back to sleep - looking at the alarm clock makes it worse as I start to panic. So I no longer look to see what the time is. That's helps a little.

I absolutely have to comment on this as I have been where you are. It was without a doubt the worst period of my life. However, I got through it and so will you. Now I tend to just manage the issue when it crops up.

I was diagnosed with GAD. I was worrying about being anxious, which was causing me to be anxious and I was stuck in a vicious cycle. I had the same thoughts- what if I don't sleep? What if I never sleep? What will happen? Can I die? Exactly the same as you.

I went onto Fluoxetine which I still take many years on, diazepam when needed on an evening. I was signed off work (very reluctantly but work were so supportive) and established a sleep routine and mindfulness habits. I went to counselling which I paid privately for.

All of this helped. Ask any questions you need to. You'll get through this- hand hold in the meantime.

PS. Also understanding what was happening to my body during an anxious episode really helped. For example, racing heart, hyper alert, tunnel vision, unable to relax are all part of the fight or flight response and part of being human. Hundreds of years ago I couldn't sleep during a bear attack, could I? Sleep anxiety and Insomnia is a part of this, and when I suffer it's like this part of my brain is suddenly switched on.

I don't know if this will help but a counsellor once taught me a useful trick when I had anxiety-induced nerve pain keeping me awake at night. It was basically to step away from what's happening, acknowledge it and say 'Oh, I'm doing that thing again'. The panic is a thing that happens but it will stop and you can kind of disengage from it. It still helps me, anyway, years later. Hope you get some good sleep soon.

I have pretty chronic insomnia so maybe my comments are useless... then again, I know I can get by on little sleep it's just not ideal. I don't get anxious. I just don't F'ing sleep.

Aerobic exercise helps me sleep better. Tired body is a good thing.

@Springb0ks that’s so helpful and supportive. Thank you. The thoughts you speak about are exactly those that go through my mind.

It’s really interesting about the response of the body too. I really think I was having a panic attack one night last week. It was just awful.

I’m going to read all this advice again carefully tomorrow. Thanks so much for everyone’s help.

I had a bout of awful insomnia in my 20s. Took me to dark places and the cycle of tiredness/anxiety/even depression at one point was terrifying. Tried absolutely everything but it was strong medication (taken properly) that broke the cycle in the end. I really thought I would never sleep again and a few weeks later I was back to normal. Never had it again and sleep like a baby now.
Medication is sometimes needed and that's what it's there for.

@yeOldeTrout I think that’s exactly the mindset I need. I need to quieten the panic. I’ve read quite a lot on acceptance of the situation rather than fighting against it. Mentally fighting isn’t going to get me to sleep.

You're very welcome. I found the Headspace app invaluable for calming me down. I used the introduction to mindfulness and the sleep sessions. It is not a quick fix, I used these over months and months but they do help.

@ToLiveInPeace thank you for that. Stepping away from it is good advice. Seeing it for what it is. I will try that. Thank you for the sleep wishes.

@User415373 that sounds like a terrifying experience you went through. I’m glad you got through it. I do think I need to speak to a doctor about it. I can’t let it spiral me into depression.

I've suffered with the same for a while now. Medication like Phenergen helped , my doctor prescribed but it can be bought OTC but I have found Sleep Easy Tea just as effective.
Have you looked into weighted blankets? They're meant to be good too.

Of course medicine only alongside all of the other good sleep hygiene practices already mentioned!