Getting sterilised in your early 20s?

[ciarafoley97]

Hello,

I live in Ireland and I'm a 23yr old woman in college. I've gotten close with this new guy who is a year younger than me. We are a match in many ways.

One of the things we share is our desire to be childfree. I've always felt it since I was a young child.

We'd like to start having sex but he's adamant that he wants a vasectomy beforehand as he doesn't want to risk pregnancy. My question is, how hard will it be to get it?

I've heard that urologists are very reluctant to perform this surgery on men and women (in particular women) under 30, especially without kids.

Someone on the /r/childfree section of Reddit said that we could perhaps go to the Marie Stopes Clinic in the U.K. I'm wondering if they'd sterilise him.

Would they also tie my tubes?

Hard is what I will say.

You can get it done privately. My DH got it done a couple of years with Marie stopes I think it was about £500. Whole process was about six months max.

Easier to reverse than tubes tied.

Not saying you don't know your own mind but my mindset changed dramatically when I was mid thirties.

I think it's right that it's hard to get done so young.

How you think in your early 20s is unlikely to be how you feel in your 30s or 40s.

A 22 year old man is barely out of adolescence. I think it's wrong he wants to make such a decision at that age. he may well change his mind and you may not always be a couple; you are both very young.

Likewise, you need to accept that at 23 you have 20 years of fertility ahead and may change your mind too.

What's wrong with using contraception?

Hiya, given your age, it's very unlikely that an NHS gynaecologist would perform the sterilisation procedure on you. This is because there have been many cases of "regret" and patients claiming that they weren't counselled. Same with your partner. Urologists would be reluctant to consider a vasectomy.

I agree with the above post regarding contraception. The Mirena coil is the bee's knees these days.

Just get the Implant

There's a reason gynaecologists call them "tubal litigations". There's a high rate of women regretting getting their tubes tied at a young age You may well be one of the people who never changes their mind, but from the doctor's point of view, they can't tell if that's you, or if you are one of the people who will turn around and sue in 5 years. A mirena or an implant is just as safe and effective, and despite the horror stories on here, many women love them.

@ciarafoley97 Am I right assuming he or both of you are virgins? I am wondering why at 22 he's thinking of a vasectomy if he has had sex before using contraception.

At 22, most men aren't even thinking about being a parent so I'd say he is pretty normal to say he doesn't want children (at his age.) But that doesn't mean he never will.

Also, if your relationship is so new that you have not had sex, it's rather too soon surely to assume you will be together for the rest of your lives (and always feel the same about parenthood.)

Get an implant and use condoms. DO NOT get your tubes tied at 23, you have no idea how you'll feel in 15 years' time and it's irreversible.

I also don't think he should get a vasectomy at 22, and it will be very very hard to find a clinic that would do it to be honest - it's unethical. He's so very young to be making such a huge decision about his life. In 20 years he may change his mind, and reversals often don't work.

I know someone who was married, in their early 30's and had 2 kids and couldn't get anyone to give him a vasectomy because of his age so I suspect you'll struggle with a 22yr old in a new relationship!
Is there a religious reason why you won't use other forms of contraception? (although if there is it might be a good time to review your thoughts on sex before marriage.....)
You're young, you're still in college, you don't know what's coming next for you in life and where you'll end up or who with, it is not the time to be making such drastic decision!

I’d say it will be almost impossible

A guy who doesn’t want to have sex before having a vacsectony at the age of 22

It sounds like he just doesn’t want sex?!? It’s a very strange argument.