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Original poster

Feel very silly but..

15 replies

bonniej · 21/10/2004 12:30

I'm scared of the dark. It hasn't really been much of a problem until this week when dh has started working nights. This is a permanent thing. I have to leave the light on as I'm too scared to turn it off but because the light is on I find it hard to sleep. I haven't had a proper nights sleep since he started on Monday. I know you might think this is silly and it is, but to me it's a very real fear. Has anyone got any ideas how I can overcome this? Please help

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 21/10/2004 12:32

Can't really help bonnie but wanted to let you know youi're not alone - I'm scared of the dark too. I always have to have a light on when my husband is away. Would a child's night light help you - one of the soft glow ones so that you get the light without it being too bright?

pixiefish · 21/10/2004 12:32

Leave the landing light on- you will probably get used to it the longer dh has to work nights. It does get better

spacemonkey · 21/10/2004 12:33

You shouldn't feel silly bonnie, and you have my sympathy. Not sure how you can overcome this - I guess a specialist would advise similar techniques used to combat other phobias - gradual desensitisation etc. Hope someone will come along with some good advice soon x

acer · 21/10/2004 12:36

Ahhh, have you tried leaving just a landing light on, or could you put a TV in your room, is it definately the dark you are scared of? when my dh is away with work, i hae going to bed alone, so i set the alarm, listen to music (quitely) and always leave the landing light on, sorry not much help, hope someone comes up with some better advice for you

Original poster

bonniej · 21/10/2004 12:36

I've tried just having a small light on but it's not bright enough. Last night I even put the telly on just so there was some noise and I wasn't listening to every bump. The weather didn't help last night either. I hope I do get used to it but am looking forward to the weekend when dh is off and I can have a good nights sleep in the dark!

OP posts:

KBear · 21/10/2004 12:38

Me too and don't feel silly, I don't. I always leave the light on in the hall. My husband is about to start shift work again after a day work job for three years so I will have to readjust to night times too. I understand your fears completely. Buy a low wattage bulb for your bedside lamp and leave that on - I used to have one when I was breastfeeding the night so I wouldn't wake up DH.

acer · 21/10/2004 12:38

Do you have a house alarm, for some reason I sleep better when this is on.

Original poster

bonniej · 21/10/2004 12:44

I do have an alarm but it needs servicing as it goes off when it shouldn't. I think I will feel better when that's fixed. It has helped to know others feel the same. It's really wierd as I'll drift off but then wake up constantly during the night absolutely terrified for no apparent reason. Would a natural sleeping aid help do you think? I have never used anything but have heard Kalms can be quite good.

OP posts:

acer · 21/10/2004 12:49

Good idea, i know friendshave used it, that and acouple of glasses of wine , I have seen plug ins in Boots Chemist, i think its lavender oil which helps sleep.

Original poster

bonniej · 21/10/2004 12:52

Great, I'm going to try both. I've already tried wine. Very enjoyable but unfortunately doesn't help me to sleep

OP posts:

cat82 · 21/10/2004 12:57

Bonnie hi

I sleep with a night light outside on the landing as my partner hates and kind of light, but this isn't too intrusive (and i use the excuse that dd needs it )
Don't feel silly, when dp is away i leave every light in the house on, including the convertory and garden lights! he went to Tibet for a month and i slept downstairs on our futon, with the tv on! (i am probably the mose extreme case of fear of dark + seriously overactive imaginatiion, you'll ever meet)
We have had alarms fitted on all our doors and windows, which really has helped, and we're getting a dog next year, which i think will also help.

Hopefull, once your alarm is serviced you'll feel a little better.
Take care!

xxxxx

WigWamBam · 21/10/2004 13:35

Bonnie, if you don't find a night light is bright enough, could you fit a dimmer switch to your main light and use that so you can have enough light to make you feel safe but not so much that it keeps you awake?

fiorocious · 21/10/2004 13:57

Get a dimmer switch and turn it down gradually night by night. A friend of mine had to do this when she lived alone.

Polgara2 · 21/10/2004 14:34

I don't like dark either but fortunately dh is always here and he hates lights at night anyway. However when breastfeeding dd's managed to persuade him to put up with 12w bulb in my normal bedside lamp which I put on the floor on my side of the bed. It was brighter than a night light but not too obtrusive for dh. HTH

tallulah · 21/10/2004 22:11

I don't like the dark & DH has worked permanent nights for the last 14 years. I leave the landing light on (ostensibly for DS) & wedge my door open.

I used to be really scared on my own at nights but now I sleep better when he's NOT here! (But when the children have been away as well & I'm totally alone that's a different matter )

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