Poorly husband, advice please?

[Topsy1980]

I’m hoping someone can advise. My DH has been suffering with anal fissures for almost 3 years now. He was referred to hospital who have today discharged him with the advice that there’s no more they can do and he just has to manage it. After several appointments advising him to take daily laxatives and he’s also had botox injections, they’ve said there’s no more they can do.
The current situation is that he takes laxatives every other day in order to keep stools soft (sorry if tmi) but in doing this it affects his work - he has to rush off to toilet when he really can’t be in his line of work and he’s had to take a lot of sick days. His sleep is disrupted with stomach cramps so he’s tired and irritable. He hardly eats for fear of going to toilet so has lost a lot of weight. He’s understandably depressed by it all. He’s only 41 and our kids are 9 & 7. He says he can’t live the rest of his life like this. And from a mums perspective, he’s missing out on so much with the kids too.

I really don’t know what to do. Wondered if anyone might have any experience or words of wisdom?

Thank you

That sounds really tough for him.

Instead of laxatives (Are they OTC?) every other day, has he tried a stool softener daily instead? If he has fybogel or dulcoease at night then it could ease things for going in the morning without the urgency and tummy upset.
I am prescribed prucalopride (Resolor) (Colorectal surgeon requested GP to prescribe) which I take after dinner then take fybogel or dulcoease around 9 pm and I can now happily go in the morning before work with no emergency dashes to the toilet, no tummy cramps or nasty side effects. Could he request a sympathetic GP to prescribe Resolor to give it a try? And take the dulcoease each night as well?

I do make a veg and fruit smoothie each day and drink lots of water but otherwise eat normally and things are greatly improved.

Well that's an awful quality of life.

If there is genuinely no improvement expected, I would consider a stoma bag. Although it sounds extreme, it might put him in a better position than he's in now.

Wishing him well.

No advice op but just wanted to say your poor dh must be feeling so shit.

He needs to make sure he keeps his electrolytes up and he must be finding it really hard to keep energy levels up Aswell.

Could you afford a private gp consultation?

At 41 he's still so young to be told he has to just live with it

Who was he under the care of in the hospital? What tests did he have done?

The worrying part to that is that he says he can’t live the rest of his life like this.
My hubby was ill for several years with an undiagnosed illness and he said exactly the same thing to me, he even told me how he would end it.
Please take him back to the GP and tell him this and that this way of living is not acceptable to him, then find a specific forum (if one exists) and find a proactive doctor/surgeon.

That sounds awful for him. I agree with a the previous poster, to change the laxatives. Different ones cause different effects.

Iif he’s got stomach cramps from the laxatives, then he can try buscopan (obv ask the pharmacist if it’s ok with his meds).

He needs to have a few weeks of trying different laxatives/softeners and the correct dose for him.

Thetime he takes them will make a diff. I have suffered with constipation, and take the laxatives in the morning not the night. It means I’m in the toilet at home in the evening and not during the day at work. It makes me feel a bit better, knowing that I’ll be at home.

-plenty of water

• high fibre diet
• Exercise
• A softener every day like lactulose/fibrogel
• speak to the pharmacist about different types of laxatives.
• start on a low dose every day and find one that works
• if he’s finding the low doses don’t work then have a clear out on the weekend/days off work and try a diff meds regime after that.

I’ve found ducolax gives me horrendous stomach cramps. Other laxatives not so much.

I would def speak to the pharmacist, who will have a good knowledge Of the options or can look into it.

Also, hospitals have a Sometimes have a psychology service to help people come to terms with chronic illness.

Definitely take the feeling of if he feels like he can’t live with this seriously. Ask him if he has a plan to end his life, or has thought of how he would do it - of year then that increases the risk of him carrying it out.

Are there any online forums for people who have the same condition? They might have some good advice on how to manage it. Eg a Facebook group?