Will I Need Surgery?

[Amanda104]

Hi, I had my DS 20 weeks ago, he was 2 weeks overdue and whilst he wasn't big - 12lb 10oz I was induced by drip and the labour was very, very, very quick and I could not control my breathing and was a bit out of control until his head crowned but by then the "damage" was done, and I tore quite badly internally. I had to have alot of internal stitches which I have subsequently been told were stitched up out of alignmnet, I also had an infection as some of the placenta was left behind, but...... I am not down about things cos I've got a beutiful baby boy .

The problem is....... ssssshhhhhh say it quietly (S...E...X...), having penatrative sex is really painful and I bleed everytime we try. My husband is being really patient and so am I - we just want to enjoy the deed but it hurts too much.

I have been to the Dr's and he suggested that we massage and try to stretch things but that didn't work and then he gave me some numbing cream (like local anastetic - sorry cant spell) but my husband has to use a condon cos it would make his willy numb too! And its a right fag cos you have to put this stuff on 30 mins before penatration for it to work and then theres not much forplay sorry if too much information!!! so all in all its not very romantic!

The Dr said that if this didnt work he would have to consider the next stage. I am now worried what "the next stage" is, will it involve surgery? I am breastfeeding and if I have to have surgery and anast......going to sleep, really nocks me for six for days. I have been putting things off and trying to hope things will go away but I suppose I need to get this sorted out.

Has anyone else had this experience and give me some advice?

Aw Amanda I am in awe of you delivering a 12 lb 10 baby .

No advice, sympathetic bump

Did I say 12lb 10oz - major typo I meant to type 6lb 10oz!!!!!!

Or was that a froidian typo felt like 12lb 10oz!!!!!!!

Any advice ?????

Sorry, I didn't want your thread to go unanswered but I don't really have any advice. Except that it must be very hard for you to have to deal with this. Could you speak to a midwife at all? To get a second opinion.
Sorry, not much help, but I hope you can get this sorted with a minimum of stress to you and your family.

I would do whatever it takes to get it sorted out but thats just me personally. I'd rather have something sorted asap than leave it until i can no longer stand it. (the only exception being ingrowing toe-nails which i try leave as long as poss because its costs me £16 a time and I will have to go again 4-6 weeks later so the longer i leave it the less times per year i have to go)

How do you feel about the way you were treated in hospital? I'd be livid if they had left me in that state, with placenta still left in etc?

A friend had to be redone a number of months after dd1, but it did the trick as dd2 came along rather quickly after that.

I'm not sure if you would need to have GA as I has my 3rd degree tear repaired with a spinal block, so they may offer you that option, but with some nice hypnotic so you don't care / remember flashing your bits to all in theatre. If you tell them that you are bf they may be able to alter what they give so it doesn't affect DS.

hi there.
i too still find penetrative sex difficult, my baby is now a year old. i only finally managed full penetration a month or so ago. it feels like im slowly slowly getting looser. i haven't even been for a check up yet.
i was forceps with an episiotomy.
im trying using vit e oil to massage, cunnilingus before trying penetration [tmi?] and hoping for the best.
lots of folk have said bf makes sex more tricky.
also, i have had general anesthetic for anal surgery since bf, and ITS FINE! check with the breastfeeding network, they will say the same. you can bf as soon as you are safe enough to hold the baby so don't worry. they will probably tell you its 48 hrs to wait but thats out of date info.
i checked with 3 different breastfeeding advisors i was so worried, and they all told me the same.
btw, using anesthetic to cope with penetration isn't the most arousing im sure! i totally sympathise, we usually go so slowly and iim grimacing and my partner's whispering "is that too much?" and being very kind, but its not exactly passionate and a turn on. or indeed pleasant.
let me know how it goes.
have you tried estrogen cream? thats meant to be effective, esp for bf ing women?
i havent so im interested to know how you get on.