Worried/anxious about DH

[Yukkatree12]

Nearly two years ago my DH was diagnosed with lung damage due to smoking since he was eleven years old, he is now over 60years old. He did not quit but cut down to one an hour. He is currently on two inhalers.

Over the last few months, he has increased breathlessness and his coughing is getting worse, especially at night times. We are not getting any sleep. I also had a look at his repeat prescription because he was trying to find the name to one of his medications and did not have his glasses. On his inhaler script there was additional notes that said: for COPD. Which alarmed me.

He has been constantly back and fourth to the doctors (well phone calls now) and they have not taken him seriously until last week due to him deteriorating, he literally can not walk and talk at the same time and has had to walk slowly if he needs to talk as well. It’s very alarming.

Finally the doctor took him seriously. Said to him he needs an x-ray as he hasn’t had one since he was diagnosed with lung damage. Doctor also said it probably is COPD, but X-ray will confirm it. He said the COPD probably first manifested as lung damage.

He had his X-ray on Wednesday. The radiographer told my husband he has long lungs (he did not have them last time) at the hospital, he said it will take a week and a half for results. The doctors receptionist called yesterday (24 hours after his X-ray) saying the earliest time the doctor can call him is next Friday as they have his results.

I’m alarmed at how quickly the results have arrived, when he was diagnosed with lung damage it took two weeks for the results and a further two weeks to see the doctor! I’m annoyed (I know IBU) as the earliest they can talk to him is in a weeks time. The doctor will not prescribe a new stronger inhaler until the results of the X-ray.

I know it’s terrifying, but I think you have to be realistic. Your husband has been smoking VERY, VERY heavily for fifty years and has COPD. I suspect he may have minimised this after his initial diagnosis. A lot of smokers find it very difficult to come to terms with this diagnosis as they feel that it brings a stigma or a sense of shame, regardless of whether or not they understood the health risks of smoking when they started, etc.....(my mother refused to admit to it when she had it...) Sadly, it is a progressive illness and unfortunately the damage from smoking for that amount of time has already been done, and it is irreversable. It sounds like your husband’s illness is progressing and he may need further support.

This website might give you a bit of insight into what to expect and how to manage what’s going on.
www.blf.org.uk/support-for-you/copd/ive-just-been-diagnosed

@justilou1 thank you for your reply. Yes I think he minimised it at the time and thought that it would just get better I think that has shocked me more than anything.

I will speak to his doctor about managing it and what comes next in terms of medication etc and information on how DH can quit - to slow the progression of it. If COPD is diagnosed (I suspect it is going to be).

If it says so on his meds, and he says he has lung damage from smoking, I suspect it has. I think if you look at his symptoms and how much he’s been smoking, it’s pretty unavoidable. (Sorry to be so blunt about it. I suspect he’s known for quite a while, tbh.)

Oh yes totally unavoidable when he has been smoking for how long he has been and the amount! For some reason smokers seem to think they are invincible, evidently not! (I do not smoke)

Don’t be sorry I prefer bluntness, just wish my DH was!

I’m sorry you have had such a shock... If it helps, when my mother was diagnosed, she was the only one who was shocked, and she made up a story about having caught “an exotic form of TB when she was on a cruise in Bulgaria.” (She was always very grandiose! Whatever she needed to keep her illusion going we let her keep. She gave up smoking about a week before she died.)

"Yes I think he minimised it at the time and thought that it would just get better"

I think there's a huge element of denial going on here - I find it hard to believe that a person could rationally believe that their lungs would recover whilst continuing to smoke.

I think you may need to prepare yourself for not just the physical implications of next week's results, but also the psychological fallout when your husband is confronted by a reality that he has managed to push to the back of his head for a long time.

On that note, with Covid, you might not be able to go into the appointments with him and he might not tell you the complete truth. You might have to be quite forceful with him about it or get the health nurse around with his notes to get to the bottom of it.

I think the general departments and wards are still quite quiet and able to process patients quickly.
I went for xrays and blood tests Tuesday and was told to call in 10 days. I had both results on Thursday with nothing to worry about in the results. So the speed that you have had the results back sdoes not need to be a worry.