Mum's health history

[MermaidMartian]

Hi,

My glorious mum died just over a year a go. She was 65, of a short horrible illness.

I look a lot like her, and we had a lot of health things in common. For example, she had problems with her thyroid and had to have it removed and eventually I did too.

She died of cancer. It was so quick, over about three weeks, that even when she died they didn't know what the exact pathology was. On her death certificate it said it was in the genital tract.

So ever since it happened. I'm kind of convinced it's going to happen to me too. Suddenly I'll start feeling pain and in three weeks I'll be dead. And nothing I do will make any difference. My mum and very fit and health conscious, never worried about going to the doctor to check anything.

And it's not making me want to seize the day or anything. It's just making me depressed and everything seem pointless.

So I suppose what I want to ask, is how do you cope with big health things like that in your family? Like women who's mums and aunties had breast cancer. How do you cope with knowing that the risks for you are so great?

It sounds like you have health anxiety caused by your mothers quick death. I think you should speak to your GP about this.

My Mum had breast cancer but her doctor told her it was a type which was hereditary.

Well we are all going to die of something. Both my parents died of cancer at a young age. Do i spend every day worrying I might get cancer? No! I'd drive myself insane. I think you should speak to your gp about these feelings. Sorry for the loss of your mum.

Your GP could discuss with you what risks you have for similar diseases and whether her type of cancer has a genetic link. There may be things you could change in your lifestyle to reduce risk. Unfortunately none of us can be risk free. I’m sorry about your mum, such a shock to have it all happen so quickly and it’s no surprise it has affected you. Chat with your GP & see if they can help

You need to discuss your health anxiety with your GP . That said it’s not unreasonable to investigate anything that could be familial and try to protect yourself . My mum also died last year and we have many of the same issues including a quite rare disease , on top of that I have some things she didn’t have and vice versa . After her death I spoke to my GP and am now on 2 extra medications to try and avoid what happened to her happening to me down the line .

I do really want to tackle it head on but I'm finding it hard so far.

The GP that I tried to talk to just said that when I'm a bit older I can get referred to the hospital to be monitored. I felt kind of dismissed, and I suppose I let myself be dismissed because I feel foolish, like it's all in my head. And because of all this COVID stuff I feel even stupider.

You're all right though, I should try again, I will try again. Got to tackle this stuff head on. Thanks for the encouragement.

@MermaidMartian I’m so, so sorry to hear about your Mum. I too lost my mum to breast cancer and my dad to bowel cancer. My health anxiety started after that. Every little twinge, lump or pain is always cancer for me. It takes over my life. Please speak to your GP about how you feel. They will help. Mine were really good, I had to fill in a family health history form. They referred me for yearly mammograms and bowel checks. It really helps me. Also maybe talk to someone professionally. I have good and bad days. Take care of yourself.

I sympathise OP. I lost my mum and aunt (mums sister) to cancer. I live in fear of getting it too and in a way, it has taken over my life a bit. I need to deal with my health anxiety. Sorry no advice to offer, but know others out there are going through the same.