DD aged 7 said she wants to be thinner - very upsetting!!!

[georgiegirl2]

Hi

I'm new here, I just joined because something happened for the first time I haven't a clue how to deal with and I need some advice from others who've had the same problem. Just found my dd aged 7 with the tape measure out of my sewing basket, stretching it round her waist, saying she wanted to be thinner and less than 54cm round the waist.

I was immediately alarmed, and I think mishandled it completely, took her with me to my husband, told him what she had said. She ran upstairs in floods. I went up and calmed her down, said I wanted to know why she would say something like that/feel something like that. Wasn't cross, but said I needed to understand. She just cried more, refused to discuss it. I threatened to take her to GP, then calmed down, reassured her that she is beautiful exactly as she is (I tell both my dds they are beautiful a lot anyway). Also pointed out that children mustn't worry about things like this, only when you are fully grown, etc. Irony is, she's not fat at all, and is unlikely to be - husband and I are both slim.

But I just feel so upset. I really, really don't want my girls developing body image issues. They're still babies. I'm so scared about eating disorders. I'm almost paranoid about it. I've never let them have Barbies or Bratz. They're both happy at school, have nice friends etc. But they seem overly concerned about their looks. I feel to blame for this in a way. No-one ever told me I was attractive, clever etc, when I was younger and it's taken me years to build up my self esteem. Of course I don't want them to have low self esteem like that. But maybe telling them they are beautiful has made them overly bothered about looks. The little one's 5 and obsessed with being 'glamorous'.

I hate this society we live in sometimes, and desperately want to protect them from all this crap about weight/diet/celebrities etc. I feel like the enemy has come in the door.

Help, how do I deal with this issue?

Thanks in advance.

Georgina x

Yes, that is upsetting. But it is nothing you've done, I'm sure. And I'm also sure that you alreadfy tell her how clever and lovely she is and how much you love her. So keep on doing that.
They can go through a 'my tummy's fat' phase at that age, but it doesn't mean that they will develop eating disorders.
Perhaps someone at school was talking about thinness and it led her to wander how she compares.

And if you ever diet or weigh yourself, don't do it around them. Better yet, just don't talk about diets. Talk about healthy lifestyles. And better still, don't even talk about that unless they bring it up. Children mostly do as they see, so at that age there is no need to bombard them with healthy initiatives, which is what schools do, and I hate!

First of all try not to panic

sadly our children are bombarded with images every day and even if you try to protect them at home they will hear it at school. Dd is 8 and I am forever hearing her tell me how she absolutely loves something that as far as i know she has never actually seen.

Dd is slim built but a few months ago was in flood of tears becuase someone siad she looked fat. She didn't want to wear a certain summer dress to school because of this. I played it down and said the dress needed to be a bit big to keep her cool. A couple of weeks later she didn't want to wear another style of dress because she though it made her look to skinny!!

i think these days that its quite normal for them to go through this and that so long as you let them know that these things are not really important they will usually take this in. At the moment she is very happy with her appearance so fingers crossed this will last for a while