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For mums with daughters...

25 replies

MaryAnnSingletomb · 05/10/2007 10:03

and inspired by reading a thread yesterday about a MNetters daughter getting fat -
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaH4y6ZjSfE&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fkateharding%2Enet%2F

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MaryAnnSingletomb · 05/10/2007 10:06
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QueenofBleach · 05/10/2007 10:09

Well found

MaryAnnSingletomb · 05/10/2007 10:11

was sent to me by my friend who was put on a diet at 8 and now in hedr last forties is paying for a messed up metabolism and years of feeling bad about herself

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mistypeaks · 05/10/2007 10:12

fantastic.

maisemor · 05/10/2007 10:16

Brilliant advert. Thank you for showing it to me.

MaryAnnSingletomb · 05/10/2007 11:03
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onefootinthegravy · 05/10/2007 11:12

I found that quite disturbing - its made me think of the self image problems that most of us have thanks to the media - I worry for my daughter even now and she's only 4 - god knows what'll be like when she's 18. Let's hope a change in attitude will come

nailpolish · 05/10/2007 11:14

omg thats awful
i worry about my dds too

BandofMutantMonsters · 05/10/2007 11:16

ACK, how can you ever make them listen to you and not their friends, tv and magazines???

I am dreading it. My friend whose dd is 9 is worried cos some girls at school call her fat. She's already thinking about it, and my friend thinks she might be puking after dinner.
I HATE THIS.............

nailpolish · 05/10/2007 11:19

tell them every day how beautiful they are, clever, funny, brave, kind,

BandofMutantMonsters · 05/10/2007 11:22

That is true, I do that, but the other week my DD1 nearly 4, said something about me getting/being fat, and I was I could do with losing a stone or 2 but am not fat. It was something she'd heard, but I don't know where and I don't even think she knew what it meant. But I was a bit hesitent to tell her off as I don't want her thinkingit's really bad to be fat. Then again, I don't want her thinking it's okay to be fat, as obv from a health POV it really isn't. No offence to anyone who is, but where do you find the balance???

totalyfreaky · 05/10/2007 11:24

I tell my twins (3.10) every day how beautiful they are, and they tell each other they are beautiful

DS on the other hand refuses to be called handsome, he says, 'no mum, boys are not handsome, they are cool.

onefootinthegravy · 05/10/2007 11:28

I agree. I do tell my dd she's beautiful and clever all the time. But the other day even she said to me can you get me some of that mummy on the telly (it was advert for makeup) so I can look beautiful like that lady
Obviously I told her she didn't need makeup she was beautiful enough etc

But the adverts/ magazines / music videos are everywhere - it's bound to affect them and there's no escaping it is there?

BandofMutantMonsters · 05/10/2007 11:29

Quite honestly I don't think things like Bratz dolls help as even the baby ones have no noses and make up on

claricebeansmum · 05/10/2007 11:29

Brilliant.
I love Dove for bucking the trend.
I tell my daughter how beautiful she is but she is still worried about "image" - comes from peer group.

hippipotami · 05/10/2007 11:33

It scares me

Being fat runs in my family. My auntie, my dad, my gran, my uncle, me, my niece, we all struggle with unwanted weight. (4 stone of the blasted stuff in my case)

Ds has a tendency to be fat I think, he has a small spare tyre round his waist and round thighs. But, he is very healthy, very active, so am not too concerned.

Dd is a skinny minnie at the moment, but once puberty hits it will be a different story I am sure.

As I am big myself (and trying to sensibly, slowly, lose some weight through increased exercise) I hope my dc will see that it is perfectly possible to be bigger, but happy. I dress (relatively) well, am active, heavily involved in their schools and other activities. I really really hope they can separate that from any messages the diet / fashion industry gives out.

One of my friends has a perfectly healthy 9 year old dd. She is tall for her aged, and not skinny. But she is very sporty, plays football, does trampolining etc etc. And she came home from school once complaining that others had called her fat. It makes me so so
It seems that anything other than nearly anorexic looking is considered fat. And that is so very wrong!

hippipotami · 05/10/2007 11:34

I have to add - well done to Dove, and for once the advertising may be working and I will buy some of their products

pollywollydooooooooodle · 05/10/2007 11:35

great if unsettling film
my dd is nearly 4 and at the moment is more interested in what her body can do (ie hanging upside down on the climbing frame, jumoing how high?)but its seeping in pinafore/skirt, the right socks, the right hair bands.........

indiasmum · 05/10/2007 11:48

thank you. what an amazing yet disturbing advert. disturbing iin that this is how society has got that we need to think about doing this for our daughters. i dread peer pressure coming for dd and she is only 2 now. she is told constantly how beautiful etc she is. and she now says it about herself

MaryAnnSingletomb · 05/10/2007 11:57

I think we need to tell our boys too how fab they are, not only in how they look but how they are generally - I do to my ds to build his self-esteem, and he is fab anyway ! I knew an anorexic boy once (well young man).

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WorkingClassScum · 05/10/2007 13:06

It seems to me that girls are more often praised on their looks and boys more often praised on their achievements. Therefore, telling a girl they are beautiful means that it's desirable and important to be beautiful and by extension to remain beautiful and the latter is where all the products come in.

hippipotami · 05/10/2007 13:16

Workingclassscum, you may have a point there. I am forever telling dd she is beautiful (even 6 months ago when she nearly made herself bald through compulsive hairpulling ), pretty, cute, gorgeous etc.
However, I tell ds he is clever, funny, cheeky, and only occasionally that he is handsome.

Perhaps it is time to review how I praise both of them?

MaryAnnSingletomb · 05/10/2007 13:30

mm, that's a good point workingclass...
I only have a son and tell him often how clever and smart he is and all the stuff he's good at (specially as he is not so good at physical stuff) and I also say how handsome and gorgeous he looks.

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binkleandflip · 05/10/2007 13:32

I've got a great big lump in my throat after watching that. Very powerful actually.

whoops · 05/10/2007 13:36

I was talking to the girls that work at dd's nursery yesterday and they said when they talk about opposites they always miss out thin & fat as they don't like using that as an example

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