Hi so I really don't know if this is the right forum but I'm going to try anyway because I really need some advice,
So I'm a young mum with 2 kids, I'm otherwise healthy but I wpild say since the birth of my second child 3 years ago I've developed some kind of depression, mixed with having problems with my husband for a few years. Anyway in January I started cbt she told me I had some depression and also that I'm a hypochondriac ( think that's how you spell it) because ever since last year when I had a few lymph nodes swell I constantly kept checking my body and thinking I had cancer, since I was a baby my lymph nodes have been sensitive and flared up easily but my parents took me to many docs as a child and I was fine, even knowing that something hit different this time and I would constantly check my body for lumps I wpild literally just undress and press on my body trying to find something, then I'd feel these swollen lymph nodes and just break down crying because I thought I was dying. I stopped cbt after 4 sessions because I felt it wasn't for me, but ever since then it's gotten worse and now I've got to a point where I don't know if I'm mentally ill or if there is something seriously wrong with me, I'm constantly tired, I know reastically I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old who still wake up 4 or 5 times a night crying saying they are scared and I break my sleep to puit them back to bed, also on top off a husband and a brother in law who lives with us who I cook and clean for every day, I had gallstones 8 years ago which has been sorted but last year I started having pains again but after a scan they said there wasn't anything wrong and I was healthy yet I still get these pains in my right side of my stomach, I have awful lower back pain, I've had it since the birth of my first daughter and its got worse and worse after my second, probably I know because I do so much every day, I also have pain in both my legs when I press on my calves which has since lead me to believe I am now dying of a different kind of cancer, but recently I have had this problem with my chest, I am I have to admit very stressed at the moment, I can't really pinpoint why other than the fact I'm so exhausted and I say to my husband I'm tired all the time and break down crying because I look after the kids all day every day 24 hours a day only for him and his brother to come home and me having to cook and clean up after them and they do nothing to help, I don't eat properly anymore because I'm making the kids breakfasts every day and then there 2 breakfast and lunch on top and by the time I'm done I'm too tired to make something decent for myself same with tea time. Basically I've had this on and off for a few months now but recently it's been constant, when I'm sitting down I'm fine but when I stand up to do anything I have no energy and my heart starts beating really fast and I get shortness of breath, my dad thinks its aniexty or stress related but obviously I'm not convinced I keep crying thinking I'm dying, I don't know if I'm making it worse because I think and know every time I stand up its going to come on. Basically my heart starts beating really fast every time I stand up or do any kind of activity. I feel so bad about myself, I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown and I can't deal with it anymore, I'm finding it hard to even get out of bed in the morning due to lack of energy and my husband just says it's laziness nothing else. Do you think this sounds like depression or is there something seriously wrong with me? I know nobody can give me proper medical advice other than a doctor but I honestly can't tell the difference between aniexty and something being seriously wrong with me. I'm really sorry for going on, I'm just really struggling to see the future at this point in time.